A New Season Part 1 | TBN

A New Season Part 1

Watch A New Season Part 1
December 1, 2019
27:44

Your World with Creflo

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A New Season Part 1

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  • [audience applauding]
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  • Creflo Dollar: Hello, I'm Creflo Dollar,
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  • and thank you for allowing me to bring some insight and
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  • inspiration to your world.
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  • Today's show is dealing with mistakes.
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  • We've all made them.
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  • Maybe you've been in a spot where you've made a wrong
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  • decision, perhaps some bad choices.
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  • Most of the time we recover.
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  • We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off,
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  • and we move on.
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  • Today's guests are here to share their stories about choices they
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  • made that took them down a path where their confidence and
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  • self-image was utterly ripped apart.
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  • Instead of thinking, "I made a mistake," they now feel that
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  • "I am a mistake."
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  • Our guests today are living in guilt over something that
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  • happened in their past that continues to live in their
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  • present, and they have found themselves caught in a
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  • never-ending cycle of shame and abuse.
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  • The two ladies you will meet today have two very different
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  • stories, but they are coming from the very same place.
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  • Creflo: What happened?
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  • Shawn Troy: I went with him, and he was even more controlling.
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  • I wanted to be away from him so bad,
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  • I tried to kill myself.
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  • Creflo: Really?
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  • Shawn: And I landed up in the hospital,
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  • and do you know, he came there and laughed at me and told
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  • me I was weak.
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  • Creflo: A'ight, first of all--excuse me,
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  • but let's just say I wasn't saved,
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  • and he come in the hospital, messin' with me like that,
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  • I would've cussed him out every--
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  • Creflo: Why do you feel that you're responsible for your
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  • mother's suicide?
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  • Tasha Diorr: I just feel like that it was my fault.
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  • Not only that, it's times that my family has blamed me also.
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  • Creflo: Let me ask you a question.
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  • Tough questions.
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  • You ready?
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  • Tasha: Mm-hmm.
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  • Creflo: Did you pull the trigger?
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  • Creflo: They both want to end their cycle of shame,
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  • blame, and low self-worth, and rebuild their lives.
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  • This is all next, right here, on "Your World."
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  • [audience applauding]
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  • Changing one life, time after time.
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  • Oh, Lord, we do it all for you.
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  • Through the trials I see, I'll always believe
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  • A new life starts with you.
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  • Oh, change your world today.
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  • Change is gonna come your way.
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  • Change, you get an understanding
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  • his grace will transform you.
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  • [audience applauding]
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  • Creflo: Our first guest has suffered physical,
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  • sexual, and mental abuse by her boyfriend for over 17 years.
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  • Though she would time and again pack her belongings and leave,
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  • she kept finding herself lured back into this nightmare that
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  • never seems to end.
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  • Would you please welcome Shawn Troy to "Your World" today.
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  • [audience applauding]
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  • Creflo: Welcome, Shawn. Shawn: Hi.
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  • Creflo: Thank you for joinin' us today.
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  • Shawn: Thank you.
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  • Creflo: So we are going to come together and create an
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  • instrument, and through your testimony and what you share
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  • with us today, the people that can relate to what you've gone
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  • through are gonna be ministered to through your testimony,
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  • through what I'll add to your testimony,
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  • and we're gonna be a blessing to a lot of people today.
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  • You ready?
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  • Shawn: Yeah.
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  • Creflo: So let's go into your world.
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  • Let's start off with this question.
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  • Your early life at home, I understand that your father died
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  • when you were very young.
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  • Shawn: I was 11.
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  • Creflo: Eleven years old? Shawn: Mm-hmm.
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  • Creflo: Let's talk about how life was when all that happened,
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  • your early years at home.
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  • Shawn: It was a lot of abuse. Creflo: Mm-hmm.
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  • Shawn: My dad was a heroin addict,
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  • and so that was what complicated,
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  • what advanced his death, made him die so early.
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  • He was 29 years old when he died.
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  • But it was a lot of abuse.
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  • I would wake up in the middle of the night and just hear my
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  • mother gettin' punched or beat or--and it was just ridiculous.
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  • It was crazy.
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  • Creflo: Yeah, to hear that as a young child was probably
  • 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.020
  • pretty traumatic.
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  • Shawn: Mm-hmm, very.
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  • Creflo: Yeah, I also understood that you grew up
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  • as a Jehovah's Witness.
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  • Shawn: Yes.
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  • Creflo: What was that like?
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  • Shawn: Very controlling. We had a lot of routine.
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  • Although it was controlling, I don't--but there were some good
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  • things that came out of it.
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  • It gave me a lot of value--values and purpose,
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  • and so it wasn't all bad, but it was very--a
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  • very controlling religion.
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  • Creflo: Mm-hmm, now, your relationship--after your father
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  • died, I'm assuming your mom married again?
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  • Shawn: Yes.
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  • Creflo: And so what was the relationship like
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  • with your stepfather?
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  • Shawn: He was just as abuse--I mean,
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  • he was a cocaine addict and a gambler.
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  • Creflo: Wow, so you, kind of, like--you know,
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  • father had the same situation, then she married again.
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  • Was your mother struggling in any abuse or drugs
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  • or was concerned?
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  • Shawn: No drugs, but it took me a long time--like,
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  • I just used to think my mother was crazy,
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  • but later, when I got older, I realized she
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  • had a drinking problem.
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  • Creflo: If you're in the middle of all of this and the
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  • trauma is goin' on, it had to cause you to think a certain way
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  • about yourself, did it?
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  • Shawn: I had a lot of low self-esteem growin' up.
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  • Like, all my brothers and sisters,
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  • most of them are lighter, light skin.
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  • I don't know if you wanna get into all that.
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  • Creflo: Sure, yeah.
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  • Your world.
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  • Shawn: Okay, so I always felt,
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  • because I was a darker complexion,
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  • like, I always felt like my brothers got more attention than
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  • I did, so I--it took me a long time,
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  • but I had to try and build my self-esteem up and make myself
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  • look--think I was okay, but my mother would always say things
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  • like, "Well, your nose is--you need to pull your nose.
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  • It's too flat, and your forehead is too big,
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  • and you need to push--pull your nose and push
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  • your forehead back."
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  • Creflo: Wow.
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  • Shawn: So, yeah, so I've dealt with a lot of low
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  • self-esteem growin' up.
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  • Creflo: Mm-hmm, so did you get married?
  • 00:07:01.030 --> 00:07:03.070
  • Shawn: I got married when I was 19.
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  • Creflo: And how long did that relationship last?
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  • Shawn: Fifteen years.
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  • Creflo: So what happened to end that relationship?
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  • Shawn: He's a very good, good father,
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  • good--he was a great, great guy and great husband,
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  • but we had a--I didn't wanna be a Jehovah Witness anymore.
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  • So I left him, and I left the religion,
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  • all at the same time.
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  • He didn't like that I didn't wanna be a Jehovah Witness
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  • anymore so.
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  • Creflo: Wow. Shawn: Yeah.
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  • Creflo: But did you ever struggle even in that marriage
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  • with low self-esteem?
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  • Shawn: Yeah, I did.
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  • Creflo: And did he ever verbalize anything about your
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  • physical appearance or character that even added to that?
  • 00:07:38.290 --> 00:07:41.220
  • Shawn: No, because he was such a--he was really a great
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  • guy, so he would call me beautiful.
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  • He was really a really good guy.
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  • It was the other one that was--the one after him.
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  • Creflo: I'm thinking--you're saying he was a great guy,
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  • yet the relationship dissolved.
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  • Did you regret that or have any regrets about that?
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  • Shawn: Sometimes I often think,
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  • maybe if I had just stayed, I wouldn't have gone through some
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  • of the other stuff I went through with the next guy,
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  • but I just needed my freedom.
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  • I wanted to take my life back and control my decisions and the
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  • things that I wanted to do in my life,
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  • and I didn't want to hear barking and these men from the
  • 00:08:19.110 --> 00:08:22.170
  • religion telling me what to do and how to dress,
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  • what to think, and I just didn't wanna do that anymore.
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  • Creflo: Even at the cost of a relationship which was a pretty
  • 00:08:29.190 --> 00:08:32.130
  • good relationship?
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  • Shawn: Yeah.
  • 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:35.030
  • Creflo: So you had to feel like you were really being
  • 00:08:35.040 --> 00:08:36.290
  • controlled in order to feel that way.
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  • And then I think all of us,
  • 00:08:39.060 --> 00:08:40.230
  • the audience and everybody, can understand.
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  • Nobody wants to live under--
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  • Shawn: Under that control, under their thumb.
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  • Creflo: You know what I've learned is that people who can't
  • 00:08:46.140 --> 00:08:48.160
  • control their emotions usually try to control other people.
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  • I've discovered the same thing is true with some religions.
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  • They thrive on tryin' to control people through fear,
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  • and, you know, "If you don't do this,
  • 00:08:59.180 --> 00:09:02.090
  • you're gonna go to hell by noon."
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  • Shawn: Yup, "Armageddon's comin'."
  • 00:09:03.260 --> 00:09:05.230
  • Creflo: Yeah, "Armageddon's comin' tomorrow,
  • 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:07.030
  • and you better get your stuff together.
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  • You better watch out. You better not cry.
  • 00:09:08.140 --> 00:09:09.230
  • You better--I'm tellin'--"
  • 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:11.040
  • Shawn: [laughing]
  • 00:09:11.050 --> 00:09:13.000
  • Creflo: You guys know exactly what I'm talkin' about?
  • 00:09:13.010 --> 00:09:15.010
  • And so you're out from under that control,
  • 00:09:15.020 --> 00:09:20.060
  • and you meet a man who's involved in the criminal justice
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  • system, or was it law enforcement?
  • 00:09:25.130 --> 00:09:27.090
  • Shawn: He was a retired detective.
  • 00:09:27.100 --> 00:09:28.260
  • Creflo: Okay. Shawn: Yeah.
  • 00:09:28.270 --> 00:09:30.060
  • Creflo: So tell us about that.
  • 00:09:30.070 --> 00:09:31.160
  • How did you guys meet? What were you thinkin'?
  • 00:09:31.170 --> 00:09:34.000
  • Was it goin' well, and what did it turn out to be?
  • 00:09:34.010 --> 00:09:36.190
  • Shawn: When I met him, I had a thriving--potentially two
  • 00:09:36.200 --> 00:09:40.110
  • thriving businesses, a restaurant and property
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  • preservation business.
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  • I was doin' really well, and he worked for me,
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  • and we just became really, really good friends,
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  • and then it later led to us developing a relationship.
  • 00:09:50.190 --> 00:09:54.170
  • Creflo: So you're out--you're out from under
  • 00:09:54.180 --> 00:09:56.190
  • this controlling umbrella.
  • 00:09:56.200 --> 00:09:58.110
  • You go out, you make some decisions,
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  • you're a successful businesswoman,
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  • and, actually, this guy worked for you.
  • 00:10:03.100 --> 00:10:07.050
  • Creflo: Did I hear that right? Shawn: Yes.
  • 00:10:07.060 --> 00:10:08.150
  • Creflo: He worked for you? Shawn: Mm-hmm.
  • 00:10:08.160 --> 00:10:10.180
  • Creflo: Okay, what happened?
  • 00:10:10.190 --> 00:10:13.120
  • Shawn: Oh--
  • 00:10:13.130 --> 00:10:14.220
  • Creflo: I could tell by your face.
  • 00:10:14.230 --> 00:10:16.020
  • When you--when I asked you that question,
  • 00:10:16.030 --> 00:10:17.120
  • you said, "Oh, Lord Jesus."
  • 00:10:17.130 --> 00:10:19.000
  • "Oh, Lord Jesus, what has Frank done?"
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  • Go ahead and take your time.
  • 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:27.020
  • Take your time.
  • 00:10:27.030 --> 00:10:28.180
  • Shawn: Oh, gosh, so here, I'm thinkin' I'm leaving the
  • 00:10:28.190 --> 00:10:30.270
  • controlling religion, the husband, and goin' off
  • 00:10:30.280 --> 00:10:34.140
  • into better pastures, greener pastures, and
  • 00:10:34.150 --> 00:10:37.180
  • what they always say, "It's never--"
  • 00:10:37.190 --> 00:10:40.080
  • Creflo: "Greener on the other side."
  • 00:10:40.090 --> 00:10:42.060
  • Shawn: "It's never greener."
  • 00:10:42.070 --> 00:10:43.210
  • Creflo: Yeah.
  • 00:10:43.220 --> 00:10:45.020
  • Shawn: And I went with him, and he was even more controlling.
  • 00:10:45.030 --> 00:10:47.100
  • Like, he was so bad.
  • 00:10:47.110 --> 00:10:49.080
  • Like, I wouldn't--like, say, we were watchin' a movie or
  • 00:10:49.090 --> 00:10:51.110
  • somethin', and I would get up to go to the bathroom.
  • 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.150
  • He'd be like, "Where are you goin'?"
  • 00:10:54.160 --> 00:10:57.080
  • And I'm like, "What? Like, I have to pee, okay?"
  • 00:10:57.090 --> 00:11:03.070
  • Like, seriously, do I need permission to go
  • 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:06.280
  • to the bathroom?
  • 00:11:06.290 --> 00:11:09.000
  • And he literally would follow me around the house all day long.
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  • Like, it seriously drove me insane,
  • 00:11:16.040 --> 00:11:19.200
  • so much so, that I literally--like,
  • 00:11:19.210 --> 00:11:23.120
  • I wanted to be away from him so bad,
  • 00:11:23.130 --> 00:11:25.020
  • I tried to kill myself.
  • 00:11:25.030 --> 00:11:26.130
  • Creflo: Really?
  • 00:11:26.140 --> 00:11:27.230
  • Shawn: And I landed up in the hospital,
  • 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:29.160
  • and do you know, he came there and laughed at me and told me I
  • 00:11:29.170 --> 00:11:33.140
  • was weak, and he was like, "Let's go.
  • 00:11:33.150 --> 00:11:36.180
  • There's nothin' wrong with you.
  • 00:11:36.190 --> 00:11:38.040
  • You don't need to be here.
  • 00:11:38.050 --> 00:11:39.140
  • You need--let's go. Let's go."
  • 00:11:39.150 --> 00:11:41.020
  • And like a little puppy dog, I did.
  • 00:11:41.030 --> 00:11:42.120
  • I followed him out the hospital 'cause they wanted to admit me.
  • 00:11:42.130 --> 00:11:46.000
  • Creflo: I'm tryin' to see because you're trying
  • 00:11:46.010 --> 00:11:48.120
  • to kill yourself--
  • 00:11:48.130 --> 00:11:51.030
  • Shawn: 'Cause I wanted to be away.
  • 00:11:51.040 --> 00:11:52.130
  • Like, I, just, I couldn't deal with the--it was just,
  • 00:11:52.140 --> 00:11:55.130
  • so, like, just, everything.
  • 00:11:55.140 --> 00:11:57.220
  • Like, he--every decision I made, he had
  • 00:11:57.230 --> 00:12:00.080
  • somethin' to say about it.
  • 00:12:00.090 --> 00:12:01.180
  • He had somethin' to say about everything.
  • 00:12:01.190 --> 00:12:03.070
  • Creflo: But what was really an underlining issue to you
  • 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:07.200
  • comin' to a place where you wanted to kill yourself?
  • 00:12:07.210 --> 00:12:09.220
  • I mean what--I hear what you're saying about what you had to go
  • 00:12:09.230 --> 00:12:12.070
  • through with the control, but then to go all the back to the
  • 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:16.030
  • seven-year-old girl, the five-year--I'm thinking,
  • 00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:18.210
  • okay, so "I'm tryin' to deal with my esteem.
  • 00:12:18.220 --> 00:12:22.190
  • I'm tryin' to look at who I am, tryin' to find significance."
  • 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:26.170
  • What part of that was still lingering around and was
  • 00:12:26.180 --> 00:12:31.270
  • somewhat amplified by being under this control again?
  • 00:12:31.280 --> 00:12:40.040
  • Shawn: I don't know.
  • 00:12:40.050 --> 00:12:41.250
  • It's a lot. I don't know.
  • 00:12:41.260 --> 00:12:44.240
  • It was--yeah.
  • 00:12:44.250 --> 00:12:46.150
  • Creflo: It's a lot of stuff that happened previously that it
  • 00:12:46.160 --> 00:12:49.120
  • becomes very important for us to identify what are some of those
  • 00:12:49.130 --> 00:12:52.270
  • things that were goin' on, what are some things we
  • 00:12:52.280 --> 00:12:56.040
  • have yet to resolve.
  • 00:12:56.050 --> 00:12:57.220
  • When you fail to deal with childhood trauma,
  • 00:12:57.230 --> 00:13:01.120
  • then part of the consequences will be false identity.
  • 00:13:01.130 --> 00:13:05.160
  • It'll be the event of trying to successfully attach and
  • 00:13:05.170 --> 00:13:12.070
  • develop relationships.
  • 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:13.170
  • There's this big trust issue.
  • 00:13:13.180 --> 00:13:15.090
  • "I'm havin' problems trusting people."
  • 00:13:15.100 --> 00:13:17.030
  • So if you put all that together and you put it under control,
  • 00:13:17.040 --> 00:13:21.010
  • you reached a point where you says,
  • 00:13:21.020 --> 00:13:23.200
  • "Listen, I don't wanna be controlled," and you saw what
  • 00:13:23.210 --> 00:13:25.160
  • you could accomplish outside of that control.
  • 00:13:25.170 --> 00:13:28.150
  • Now you're back in a situation where you're being controlled
  • 00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:31.170
  • again, and I'm just wondering, you know,
  • 00:13:31.180 --> 00:13:35.010
  • what is it that--what is it that's being stirred up every
  • 00:13:35.020 --> 00:13:39.010
  • time you find yourself being controlled by somebody where
  • 00:13:39.020 --> 00:13:42.070
  • your self-esteem is concerned?
  • 00:13:42.080 --> 00:13:45.080
  • What is it that has gone unresolved,
  • 00:13:45.090 --> 00:13:47.090
  • even way back then, dealin' with who you were,
  • 00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:51.000
  • and "I'm darker than my siblings," and losin' a father
  • 00:13:51.010 --> 00:13:54.160
  • at a early age, and then gettin' a stepfather and goin' through
  • 00:13:54.170 --> 00:13:58.180
  • the abuse and stuff like that?
  • 00:13:58.190 --> 00:14:00.270
  • Because, you know, we wanna make sure that that low self-esteem
  • 00:14:00.280 --> 00:14:06.100
  • is not there because your low self-esteem will always draw
  • 00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:11.020
  • that type of person to you.
  • 00:14:11.030 --> 00:14:13.060
  • So you're in this situation.
  • 00:14:13.070 --> 00:14:15.150
  • You're in the hospital, all right?
  • 00:14:15.160 --> 00:14:18.160
  • Somebody that you probably think,
  • 00:14:18.170 --> 00:14:22.050
  • "He cares about me some, comes and laughs at me,
  • 00:14:22.060 --> 00:14:24.290
  • does more damage to how I see myself that you don't even care
  • 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:30.040
  • enough to be concerned about my attempt."
  • 00:14:30.050 --> 00:14:34.000
  • Now, at that point, I would've gotten out of the hospital,
  • 00:14:34.010 --> 00:14:37.180
  • and I wouldn't wanna see--
  • 00:14:37.190 --> 00:14:39.190
  • Shawn: You wouldn't wanna see him again--but I did.
  • 00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:43.230
  • Creflo: So what happened?
  • 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:45.030
  • Why would you go back to some--a'ight,
  • 00:14:45.040 --> 00:14:47.020
  • first of all--excuse me, but let's just say I wasn't saved,
  • 00:14:47.030 --> 00:14:51.000
  • and he come in the hospital, messin' with me like that,
  • 00:14:51.010 --> 00:14:53.110
  • I would've cussed him out every--you know, wasn't saved.
  • 00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:56.160
  • I ain't saved, now.
  • 00:14:56.170 --> 00:14:58.000
  • Some kind of protective response would've come up to say,
  • 00:14:58.010 --> 00:15:02.220
  • "Bro--" you follow what I'm sayin'?
  • 00:15:02.230 --> 00:15:05.120
  • And I'm asking this because, again,
  • 00:15:05.130 --> 00:15:08.110
  • I wanna see how you feel about you.
  • 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:12.040
  • Do you have enough love for yourself not to allow someone
  • 00:15:12.050 --> 00:15:17.290
  • else to come and abuse you?
  • 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.230
  • Shawn: Exactly.
  • 00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:21.030
  • Creflo: Tell me how you reacted when he came up,
  • 00:15:21.040 --> 00:15:22.290
  • and why'd you go back?
  • 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.150
  • Shawn: Well, I was really, really upset that he said what
  • 00:15:24.160 --> 00:15:27.050
  • he said, but I think, like, we would go through this--like,
  • 00:15:27.060 --> 00:15:32.170
  • our relationship was always tumultuous,
  • 00:15:32.180 --> 00:15:34.280
  • always dramatic, and so he would come back,
  • 00:15:34.290 --> 00:15:38.000
  • then leave me, come back, and leave me.
  • 00:15:38.010 --> 00:15:40.240
  • In that pain of him leaving every time he left,
  • 00:15:40.250 --> 00:15:44.220
  • I think I just didn't wanna deal with that pain
  • 00:15:44.230 --> 00:15:49.080
  • 'cause it was so deep.
  • 00:15:49.090 --> 00:15:51.030
  • Like, when I went through my divorce,
  • 00:15:51.040 --> 00:15:53.000
  • I was like, "Okay," but with him,
  • 00:15:53.010 --> 00:15:55.290
  • it was just somethin' between us,
  • 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.220
  • and it just made me--like, I just didn't wanna deal
  • 00:15:58.230 --> 00:16:01.290
  • with that pain.
  • 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:03.090
  • It was so deep.
  • 00:16:03.100 --> 00:16:04.190
  • Creflo: So what was the pain? Describe the pain.
  • 00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:07.090
  • What were you going through every time he left you?
  • 00:16:07.100 --> 00:16:10.100
  • Shawn: I felt like he had pushed me down so bad that I
  • 00:16:10.110 --> 00:16:15.020
  • felt like there was nobody else that would--that I will ever
  • 00:16:15.030 --> 00:16:18.060
  • find that will ever love me.
  • 00:16:18.070 --> 00:16:20.050
  • It was only him, always him, and I really believed that.
  • 00:16:20.060 --> 00:16:25.170
  • Like, I remember when I left the first time,
  • 00:16:25.180 --> 00:16:29.000
  • and I was like, "You mean to tell me I can get
  • 00:16:29.010 --> 00:16:31.260
  • my own apartment?"
  • 00:16:31.270 --> 00:16:33.200
  • I really thought like that.
  • 00:16:33.210 --> 00:16:35.030
  • Like, I have always been like a businesswoman and really sharp
  • 00:16:35.040 --> 00:16:39.100
  • and everything, but I have been in that relation so much,
  • 00:16:39.110 --> 00:16:42.270
  • so long, that I let it just beat me down,
  • 00:16:42.280 --> 00:16:46.020
  • and I totally lost myself again.
  • 00:16:46.030 --> 00:16:48.180
  • Creflo: You just hit it again.
  • 00:16:48.190 --> 00:16:49.280
  • It's like you allow people to come in and knock your
  • 00:16:49.290 --> 00:16:55.050
  • self-worth down.
  • 00:16:55.060 --> 00:17:00.040
  • Shawn: Yup.
  • 00:17:00.050 --> 00:17:01.150
  • Creflo: And you allow other people to determine your worth,
  • 00:17:01.160 --> 00:17:05.090
  • and you have to be strong enough,
  • 00:17:05.100 --> 00:17:10.220
  • and you've proven to yourself that you have been,
  • 00:17:10.230 --> 00:17:12.270
  • in times past, and you can be today,
  • 00:17:12.280 --> 00:17:15.000
  • that "regardless of what anybody else thinks about me or says
  • 00:17:15.010 --> 00:17:18.170
  • about me or treats me, my self-worth will always be to the
  • 00:17:18.180 --> 00:17:23.070
  • place where I know it should be, and I do not want to involve
  • 00:17:23.080 --> 00:17:27.030
  • myself in a relationship where somebody doesn't agree with the
  • 00:17:27.040 --> 00:17:30.230
  • value that I have about myself," and you have to hold onto the
  • 00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:35.070
  • value that you possess.
  • 00:17:35.080 --> 00:17:37.010
  • Basically, what was going on is you allowed this man to continue
  • 00:17:37.020 --> 00:17:41.260
  • to show up in your life and devalue you.
  • 00:17:41.270 --> 00:17:44.270
  • Shawn: Yeah, absolutely.
  • 00:17:44.280 --> 00:17:46.180
  • Creflo: And what happens when you're being devalued,
  • 00:17:46.190 --> 00:17:48.260
  • sometimes you can get pushed down so low that you have no
  • 00:17:48.270 --> 00:17:52.290
  • other choice but to come up aggressively.
  • 00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:55.190
  • Shawn: Yup.
  • 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:56.290
  • Creflo: But you don't need to do that.
  • 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:58.180
  • All the comments that have not been dealt with about how your
  • 00:17:58.190 --> 00:18:01.080
  • physical appearance and your look and what you can do and
  • 00:18:01.090 --> 00:18:03.240
  • what you can't do, and this, all of that comes together,
  • 00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:06.230
  • and you either will allow it to determine your value,
  • 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:12.080
  • or you will take a better estimate of who you are,
  • 00:18:12.090 --> 00:18:16.180
  • and especially who you are in Christ Jesus,
  • 00:18:16.190 --> 00:18:19.180
  • and you will place your value at a higher level and dare anybody
  • 00:18:19.190 --> 00:18:23.280
  • to come and try to devalue you.
  • 00:18:23.290 --> 00:18:27.070
  • Don't let anybody devalue who God has made you.
  • 00:18:27.080 --> 00:18:32.200
  • You are very precious in his sight,
  • 00:18:32.210 --> 00:18:36.210
  • and, see, if I don't value me, then why should I expect anybody
  • 00:18:36.220 --> 00:18:42.280
  • else to come and value me, right?
  • 00:18:42.290 --> 00:18:44.160
  • I mean, I'm not gonna allow somebody to come in my life and
  • 00:18:44.170 --> 00:18:48.230
  • determine my value.
  • 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:50.250
  • God determines my value.
  • 00:18:50.260 --> 00:18:52.050
  • I agree with him, and "You don't get to devalue me," and when you
  • 00:18:52.060 --> 00:18:56.060
  • allow people in your life to devalue you,
  • 00:18:56.070 --> 00:19:00.280
  • you are inviting a toxic relationship,
  • 00:19:00.290 --> 00:19:04.140
  • and that relationship offers--I mean, it doesn't offer anything.
  • 00:19:04.150 --> 00:19:08.110
  • Here's one of the ways you can tell when you're in a toxic
  • 00:19:08.120 --> 00:19:10.170
  • relationship and the temptation of being devalued: when they're
  • 00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:14.160
  • always wanting to take advantage rather than give the advantage,
  • 00:19:14.170 --> 00:19:20.050
  • that is the first sign of a toxic relationship.
  • 00:19:20.060 --> 00:19:23.120
  • So any relationship in your life, whether it's a
  • 00:19:23.130 --> 00:19:25.170
  • friend, relationships, somebody you might wanna
  • 00:19:25.180 --> 00:19:28.270
  • marry, you have to go through that test.
  • 00:19:28.280 --> 00:19:31.130
  • Am I allowin' somebody in my life that'll give me the
  • 00:19:31.140 --> 00:19:32.290
  • advantage, or am I tolerating somebody that
  • 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.040
  • takes the advantage?
  • 00:19:37.050 --> 00:19:39.150
  • That's so important.
  • 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:40.270
  • Shawn: Absolutely.
  • 00:19:40.280 --> 00:19:42.070
  • Creflo: Can you relate to that?
  • 00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:43.170
  • Shawn: Absolutely.
  • 00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:44.270
  • Creflo: Can you relate to that all the way back
  • 00:19:44.280 --> 00:19:46.070
  • when you were a little girl?
  • 00:19:46.080 --> 00:19:47.170
  • Creflo: Yeah? Shawn: Yup.
  • 00:19:47.180 --> 00:19:48.270
  • Creflo: So this is a issue of value.
  • 00:19:48.280 --> 00:19:50.220
  • Shawn: Mm-hmm.
  • 00:19:50.230 --> 00:19:52.020
  • Creflo: Once you allow somebody in your life to devalue
  • 00:19:52.030 --> 00:19:54.010
  • you, you end up tolerating things that you don't
  • 00:19:54.020 --> 00:19:59.180
  • need to tolerate.
  • 00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:00.280
  • Here's a successful businesswoman.
  • 00:20:00.290 --> 00:20:02.230
  • You probably hadn't even come to the place of knowing your full
  • 00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:05.220
  • potential, but don't let Waldo back in nowhere.
  • 00:20:05.230 --> 00:20:09.210
  • Keep Waldo out.
  • 00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:11.200
  • Shawn: Oh, you better believe it.
  • 00:20:11.210 --> 00:20:13.020
  • Creflo: If you need any help gettin' Waldo out,
  • 00:20:13.030 --> 00:20:15.030
  • me and some of the brothers will come and help you get
  • 00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:17.020
  • Waldo out of the house.
  • 00:20:17.030 --> 00:20:19.080
  • You cannot, must not allow anybody in your
  • 00:20:19.090 --> 00:20:25.090
  • life to devalue you.
  • 00:20:25.100 --> 00:20:27.250
  • [applauding]
  • 00:20:27.260 --> 00:20:29.260
  • If you can't help but find yourself in a cycle of bad
  • 00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:34.140
  • decisions, just know there is only one who can restore you and
  • 00:20:34.150 --> 00:20:39.210
  • make you whole again.
  • 00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:41.120
  • God wants to heal you whether your brokenness is physical,
  • 00:20:41.130 --> 00:20:46.170
  • emotional, or spiritual.
  • 00:20:46.180 --> 00:20:48.170
  • One touch from him brings a joy that can saturate your entire
  • 00:20:48.180 --> 00:20:52.120
  • being, and if you choose to accept the grace that he has
  • 00:20:52.130 --> 00:20:56.060
  • for you, life will be everything it needs to be, amen?
  • 00:20:56.070 --> 00:21:00.100
  • Now, and when we come back, you're gonna meet our next guest
  • 00:21:00.110 --> 00:21:04.110
  • who has believed, since she was a teenager,
  • 00:21:04.120 --> 00:21:08.040
  • that she's to blame for her mother's suicide.
  • 00:21:08.050 --> 00:21:12.050
  • We'll be right back.
  • 00:21:12.060 --> 00:21:14.020
  • 00:21:14.030 --> 00:21:20.030
  • male announcer: Are you ready to end the year with a bang?
  • 00:21:22.220 --> 00:21:24.200
  • Join us December 31, 2019, with pastors Creflo and Taffi Dollar
  • 00:21:24.210 --> 00:21:29.130
  • for the biggest celebration of the year.
  • 00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:31.270
  • We welcome you to bring in the year 2020 with us at World
  • 00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:35.130
  • Changers Church International.
  • 00:21:35.140 --> 00:21:37.010
  • Get ready for a night filled with fun,
  • 00:21:37.020 --> 00:21:38.290
  • power-packed praise, and a life-changing word from
  • 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:41.290
  • Dr. Creflo Dollar.
  • 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:43.100
  • Doors will open at 9 p.m.
  • 00:21:43.110 --> 00:21:44.250
  • Service will begin at 10 p.m.
  • 00:21:44.260 --> 00:21:46.110
  • This event is absolutely free.
  • 00:21:46.120 --> 00:21:48.160
  • Visit worldchangers.org, for more information.
  • 00:21:48.170 --> 00:21:51.240
  • [audience applauding]
  • 00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:58.250
  • Creflo: Our next guest believes that she is the cause
  • 00:22:00.020 --> 00:22:03.080
  • of her mother's suicide, and two of her sisters blame her too and
  • 00:22:03.090 --> 00:22:06.290
  • have vowed to never forgive her.
  • 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:09.290
  • When she was just 17, she told her mother the news that her
  • 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:13.240
  • mom's boyfriend was cheating on her.
  • 00:22:13.250 --> 00:22:17.100
  • Later that night, her mother took a shotgun and aimed at her
  • 00:22:17.110 --> 00:22:21.270
  • own chest and pulled the trigger.
  • 00:22:21.280 --> 00:22:24.150
  • The pain, depression, and heavy guilt has suffocated
  • 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:28.210
  • her for decades.
  • 00:22:28.220 --> 00:22:30.170
  • Today, she's asking, "Did I kill my mom?"
  • 00:22:30.180 --> 00:22:34.240
  • We're going to help her answer that question today.
  • 00:22:34.250 --> 00:22:38.000
  • Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
  • 00:22:38.010 --> 00:22:39.230
  • Tasha Diorr to "Your World."
  • 00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:42.140
  • [applauding]
  • 00:22:42.150 --> 00:22:44.150
  • [audience applauding]
  • 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.290
  • Creflo: Tasha, thank you for joining us today.
  • 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.130
  • Tasha: Thank you for having me.
  • 00:22:55.140 --> 00:22:56.290
  • Creflo: Well, we are going to dig into this because we gotta
  • 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:02.070
  • answer that question for you today.
  • 00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:04.170
  • Talk to us about your memories with your mother and father
  • 00:23:04.180 --> 00:23:08.190
  • together, growing up.
  • 00:23:08.200 --> 00:23:10.200
  • Tasha: Oh god, I don't really have any memories
  • 00:23:10.210 --> 00:23:13.190
  • with my mother and father because at the time,
  • 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:16.080
  • my mom was dating him, he was a married man so it
  • 00:23:16.090 --> 00:23:19.060
  • was actually cheating at the time with my mom.
  • 00:23:19.070 --> 00:23:24.230
  • Creflo: Yeah.
  • 00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:26.030
  • Do you feel--or have you felt like--do you feel like your mom
  • 00:23:26.040 --> 00:23:29.260
  • loved you?
  • 00:23:29.270 --> 00:23:31.120
  • 00:23:31.130 --> 00:23:35.030
  • announcer: Next week on "Your World."
  • 00:23:35.040 --> 00:23:38.040
  • Creflo: Why do you feel that you're responsible for your
  • 00:23:38.050 --> 00:23:39.250
  • mother's suicide?
  • 00:23:39.260 --> 00:23:41.130
  • Tasha: One of my friends told me that
  • 00:23:41.140 --> 00:23:43.020
  • the say my mom's boyfriend was actually with another one
  • 00:23:43.030 --> 00:23:46.160
  • of my friends--high school friends--and when I went
  • 00:23:46.170 --> 00:23:49.260
  • back home my mom--she was cooking.
  • 00:23:49.270 --> 00:23:51.290
  • I told her what happened and she immediately ran out the door
  • 00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:56.130
  • so she never returned and I just feel like that it was my fault.
  • 00:23:56.140 --> 00:24:01.110
  • Creflo: Let me ask you a question.
  • 00:24:01.120 --> 00:24:04.150
  • Tough questions. You ready?
  • 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:06.080
  • Tasha: Mm-hm.
  • 00:24:06.090 --> 00:24:07.180
  • Creflo: Did you pull the trigger?
  • 00:24:07.190 --> 00:24:09.150
  • announcer: Tune in next week for part two of this episode.
  • 00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:12.140
  • announcer: If you have made a bad mistake or poor choices
  • 00:24:13.170 --> 00:24:15.220
  • you're not proud of, you're not alone, but you need to forgive
  • 00:24:15.230 --> 00:24:19.200
  • yourself in order to break free from your past and truly move on
  • 00:24:19.210 --> 00:24:23.070
  • with your life, and Creflo Dollar wants to show you how.
  • 00:24:23.080 --> 00:24:26.210
  • In today's episode, you met Shawn Troy and Tasha Diorr,
  • 00:24:26.220 --> 00:24:30.240
  • who were taken down a dark path where their confidence and
  • 00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:33.180
  • self-image were torn apart by their own minds,
  • 00:24:33.190 --> 00:24:37.030
  • different situations but living in that same awful place of
  • 00:24:37.040 --> 00:24:40.190
  • shame and pain from their pasts.
  • 00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:43.080
  • Creflo Dollar has put together a series offered together for the
  • 00:24:43.090 --> 00:24:46.190
  • first time to specifically help you tackle and overcome the pain
  • 00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:50.200
  • of your past.
  • 00:24:50.210 --> 00:24:52.060
  • First, you'll get "From Condemnation to Grace."
  • 00:24:52.070 --> 00:24:54.250
  • In this three-part series, Creflo Dollar will take you
  • 00:24:54.260 --> 00:24:57.190
  • step-by-step on how to identify the pain and shame of your past.
  • 00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:01.170
  • Understand why you're feeling this way and how to unburden
  • 00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:04.230
  • yourself from the world's condemnation and,
  • 00:25:04.240 --> 00:25:08.030
  • instead, experience the fullness of God's grace,
  • 00:25:08.040 --> 00:25:11.090
  • his grace, his mercy, compassion,
  • 00:25:11.100 --> 00:25:13.280
  • and forgiveness.
  • 00:25:13.290 --> 00:25:15.170
  • Next, you'll also receive Creflo's acclaimed four-part
  • 00:25:15.180 --> 00:25:18.140
  • series, "Peace That Prevails."
  • 00:25:18.150 --> 00:25:20.180
  • In this series, Creflo Dollar will show you how to overcome
  • 00:25:20.190 --> 00:25:23.090
  • the negative emotions you're feeling and begin to live your
  • 00:25:23.100 --> 00:25:26.220
  • life anew with positive thinking.
  • 00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:29.090
  • You'll learn how to become spiritually minded to produce
  • 00:25:29.100 --> 00:25:32.000
  • joy and peace in your and your family's lives.
  • 00:25:32.010 --> 00:25:35.200
  • Call now, and for a limited time,
  • 00:25:35.210 --> 00:25:37.250
  • you can get all seven messages complete in this collection.
  • 00:25:37.260 --> 00:25:41.120
  • You'll learn how to experience true life change and get back on
  • 00:25:41.130 --> 00:25:45.070
  • the path God has already laid out for you.
  • 00:25:45.080 --> 00:25:48.080
  • But that's not all.
  • 00:25:48.090 --> 00:25:49.190
  • Call now, and you'll also receive the
  • 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:51.010
  • full, unedited DVD of today's program in its entirety.
  • 00:25:51.020 --> 00:25:55.110
  • You only saw a small part of Creflo Dollar's interview with
  • 00:25:55.120 --> 00:25:58.160
  • Shawn Troy and Tasha Diorr.
  • 00:25:58.170 --> 00:26:00.230
  • Now you can see the entire program,
  • 00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.270
  • yours today, as part of this complete collection.
  • 00:26:02.280 --> 00:26:05.240
  • Creflo: You are very significant in the plan of God.
  • 00:26:05.250 --> 00:26:08.210
  • You're very valuable to what God wants to do on the planet,
  • 00:26:08.220 --> 00:26:13.110
  • and you bring somethin' to the table.
  • 00:26:13.120 --> 00:26:15.240
  • You have somethin' to offer.
  • 00:26:15.250 --> 00:26:17.280
  • I hope you heard it.
  • 00:26:17.290 --> 00:26:19.170
  • You're responsible for it now.
  • 00:26:19.180 --> 00:26:21.210
  • What will you do?
  • 00:26:21.220 --> 00:26:24.220
  • announcer: So now that's eight total messages.
  • 00:26:24.230 --> 00:26:27.010
  • Call right now to get the three-CD series "From
  • 00:26:27.020 --> 00:26:29.190
  • Condemnation to Grace," the four-CD series "Peace That
  • 00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.170
  • Prevails," and the bonus interview DVD,
  • 00:26:33.180 --> 00:26:36.270
  • all for your tax-deductible love gift of only $40 or more.
  • 00:26:36.280 --> 00:26:40.160
  • It's time to stop living in shame and blaming yourself for
  • 00:26:40.170 --> 00:26:44.000
  • the mistakes of the past.
  • 00:26:44.010 --> 00:26:45.280
  • Call now to learn how to open yourself to God's grace and
  • 00:26:45.290 --> 00:26:49.110
  • receive the joy and peace you deserve.
  • 00:26:49.120 --> 00:26:53.110
  • announcer: When visiting New York and Atlanta,
  • 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:57.100
  • join Creflo Dollar at World Changers Church International.
  • 00:26:57.110 --> 00:27:00.210
  • Service times are Saturdays at 6 p.m.,
  • 00:27:00.220 --> 00:27:02.250
  • Sundays at 10 a.m., and Wednesdays at 7 p.m.
  • 00:27:02.260 --> 00:27:05.160
  • For more information, visit us online at
  • 00:27:05.170 --> 00:27:07.230
  • creflodollarministries.org.
  • 00:27:07.240 --> 00:27:09.250
  • Because of you, Creflo Dollar Ministries is providing a new
  • 00:27:09.260 --> 00:27:12.280
  • understanding of grace and empowering change in the lives
  • 00:27:12.290 --> 00:27:16.160
  • of millions of people every day.
  • 00:27:16.170 --> 00:27:19.020
  • Thank you, partners and friends.
  • 00:27:19.030 --> 00:27:21.070
  • Your love and financial support makes it possible to bring this
  • 00:27:21.080 --> 00:27:24.130
  • message into millions of homes all across the globe.
  • 00:27:24.140 --> 00:27:28.140
  • CC by Aberdeen Captioning 1-800-688-6621 www.abercap.com
  • 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:33.160