When God Doesn't Restore a Broken Relationship | TBN

When God Doesn't Restore a Broken Relationship

Watch When God Doesn't Restore a Broken Relationship
July 15, 2020
27:29

Join the dynamic leadership and teaching of Dr. Creflo and Taffi Dollar.

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When God Doesn't Restore a Broken Relationship

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  • male announcer: This programis brought to you by the
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  • partners and friends ofCreflo Dollar Ministries.
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  • Coming up next on"Changing Your World."
  • 00:00:04.350 --> 00:00:07.387
  • Creflo Dollar: You're going towin it or lose it in the mind.
  • 00:00:09.155 --> 00:00:10.657
  • The mind is the arena of faith.
  • 00:00:10.690 --> 00:00:12.525
  • "As a man thinketh inhis heart, so is he."
  • 00:00:12.559 --> 00:00:15.962
  • So you've got to--you got tomake yourself, force yourself,
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  • "I'm going to get my mind andI'm going to keep my mind stayed
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  • on the Word."
  • 00:00:21.634 --> 00:00:23.069
  • Get you about five or sixScriptures that you can get your
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  • mind stayed on that Word.
  • 00:00:25.205 --> 00:00:26.873
  • And every time the temptationto think about that breakup, you
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  • get your mind on that Word.
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  • You say it with your mouth.
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  • You get your mind on that Word.
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  • You say it with your mouth.
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  • You meditate in thatWord day and night.
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  • That's a part of it.
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  • And the Bible says, "I'llkeep in perfect peace."
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  • announcer: Calling allmen from around the world.
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  • Join us for Mentality 2020.
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Creflo: A man that cannotcontrol his emotions is the
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  • weakest man on the planet.
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  • Michael Smith: I'm nervousto share this message with
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  • you today.
  • 00:00:59.172 --> 00:01:00.540
  • Touré Roberts: Igot an honest question.
  • 00:01:00.573 --> 00:01:02.142
  • Michael: 'Cause it'sgonna get nitty and gritty.
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  • Touré: We should be ableto talk about certain stuff.
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  • announcer: Realmen, real talk.
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  • Join us for a revival ofmanhood at the Mentality
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  • Men's Conference.
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  • You don't want to miss out.
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  • Register now atCREFLODOLLARMINISTRIES.ORG.
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  • ♪ This is your world, so let'svow to make it a better place ♪
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  • ♪ Let every heart that needs toknow your love is here to stay ♪
  • 00:01:22.529 --> 00:01:30.003
  • ♪ Oh, oh, it's timeto live a new life ♪
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  • ♪ Oh, oh, let his loveshine bright in you ♪
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  • ♪ Oh, oh, we'resaved by his grace ♪
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  • ♪ So we embraceyour love today ♪
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  • ♪ We are changed ♪♪
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  • Creflo: Well, if you have yourBibles, your phones, or iPads,
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  • go with me to the Book of Psalms41 and verse 9 in the NLT.
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  • And I've enjoyed this serieson brokenness, but today we're
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  • going to really zero-inon relationships.
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  • And I want to talkto you about it.
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  • It's a kind of long title, but,you know, we want to talk about
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  • today "When God Doesn'tRestore a Broken Relationship."
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  • What happens when God doesn'trestore a broken relationship?
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  • You know, some people are justlike, "You know, I really am
  • 00:02:25.491 --> 00:02:29.095
  • releasing my faith for God torestore this relationship."
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  • And, you know, you name it andclaim it and you pray an extra
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  • hour and you come to church and,you know, you sit on--you know,
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  • as close to the pulpit asyou can because you're really
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  • believing God to restorethat relationship.
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  • And, I mean, you're makingyour confessions over it.
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  • I mean, you're doingeverything you know to do, and
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  • they're--there's wherewe got to be careful.
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  • Are we believing we receivesomething based on our efforts
  • 00:02:56.456 --> 00:02:59.058
  • and what we can do?
  • 00:02:59.092 --> 00:03:02.729
  • So the question I want to bringup today is, what happens when
  • 00:03:02.762 --> 00:03:07.166
  • that relationshipis not restored?
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  • What happens when God doesn'trestore a broken relationship?
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  • Now, a broken relationshipis one of life's most
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  • painful experiences.
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  • A broken relationship--whatam I talking about?
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  • I'm talking about maybea breakup of some sort in
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  • relationship; boyfriend,girlfriend, fiancé.
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  • Maybe a breakup.
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  • It's a very painful thing,a divorce.
  • 00:03:35.628 --> 00:03:37.630
  • That's what I'm talking abouthere, a broken relationship.
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  • Or even a death.
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  • That's a broken relationshipthat's caused by death.
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  • And so what happens, a breakup,a divorce, or death, or any
  • 00:03:46.306 --> 00:03:50.443
  • situation where you're losingsomeone--you love that person,
  • 00:03:50.476 --> 00:03:58.318
  • and what happens, youknow, your heart hurts.
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  • Losing someone youlove breaks your heart.
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  • That's what I'm trying to say.
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  • Losing someone you love breaksyour heart, whether it's through
  • 00:04:09.095 --> 00:04:11.431
  • a breakup, whether it's througha divorce, or whether it is
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  • through death.
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  • Losing someone youlove breaks your heart.
  • 00:04:16.269 --> 00:04:21.240
  • Now, I know you got some superChristians out there that say,
  • 00:04:21.274 --> 00:04:23.710
  • "Well, no, that's not me."
  • 00:04:23.743 --> 00:04:25.578
  • Really the only people who canreally hurt you or stress you
  • 00:04:25.611 --> 00:04:29.282
  • out are people you love.
  • 00:04:29.315 --> 00:04:32.218
  • A stranger can call you allkinds of names, they won't
  • 00:04:32.251 --> 00:04:34.554
  • affect you one bit.
  • 00:04:34.587 --> 00:04:36.689
  • But when you love somebody andyou lose that person you love,
  • 00:04:36.723 --> 00:04:39.292
  • that breaks your heart.
  • 00:04:39.325 --> 00:04:43.162
  • Now, regardless of the issuesurrounding your heart being
  • 00:04:43.196 --> 00:04:46.299
  • broken, what's the promisethat we hold on to?
  • 00:04:46.332 --> 00:04:49.769
  • And we begin inPsalms 41, verse 9.
  • 00:04:49.802 --> 00:04:52.238
  • He says, "Even my best friend,the one I trusted completely,
  • 00:04:52.271 --> 00:04:57.677
  • the one who shared my food,has turned against me."
  • 00:04:57.710 --> 00:05:02.615
  • Wow, that's a powerful thing.
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  • Look here.
  • 00:05:05.218 --> 00:05:06.886
  • "My best friend, the one Itrusted completely, the one who
  • 00:05:06.919 --> 00:05:09.021
  • shared my food, hasturned against me."
  • 00:05:09.055 --> 00:05:12.725
  • That will cause your heart tobe broken, and yet God is very,
  • 00:05:12.759 --> 00:05:17.630
  • very clear that he willheal the broken heart.
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  • He makes it very, veryclear that regardless of the
  • 00:05:22.101 --> 00:05:25.338
  • situation, he says, "I amdetermined to heal your
  • 00:05:25.371 --> 00:05:29.242
  • broken heart.
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  • I am determined that regardlessof what happened or how your
  • 00:05:31.411 --> 00:05:34.447
  • heart got broke, I am the healerof the broken heart."
  • 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:40.353
  • And, ladies and gentlemen, whenwe began to realize that, even
  • 00:05:40.386 --> 00:05:43.689
  • when your best friend or trustedloved one or somebody you shared
  • 00:05:43.723 --> 00:05:49.061
  • your food with, your money with;when they turned against you,
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  • that will break your heart.
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  • That will break your heart.
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  • Now, sometimes God reunitescouples, families, but he
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  • doesn't always restorerelationships that are broken.
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  • I went through the Bible, andthat's true throughout
  • 00:06:07.380 --> 00:06:10.149
  • the Bible.
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  • You look at the relationshipbetween David and
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  • Saul--King Saul.
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  • And, you know, Saul waslike a father to David.
  • 00:06:16.189 --> 00:06:21.027
  • And then there was another pointwhere Saul was trying to
  • 00:06:21.060 --> 00:06:24.130
  • kill David.
  • 00:06:24.163 --> 00:06:26.599
  • And, you know, I'm surethat was something that
  • 00:06:26.632 --> 00:06:29.902
  • was heartbreaking.
  • 00:06:29.936 --> 00:06:32.505
  • And then you begin to look atother illustrations in the Word
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  • of God where brokenrelationships occurred, but
  • 00:06:36.075 --> 00:06:39.879
  • those relationships werenever really restored.
  • 00:06:39.912 --> 00:06:43.349
  • Now, I'm not saying thatGod can't restore broken
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  • relationships, but I am sayingthat some people don't see those
  • 00:06:45.785 --> 00:06:49.722
  • relationships restored andit tears their life up.
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  • Listen to me carefully.
  • 00:06:54.293 --> 00:06:55.962
  • Sometimes God reunites couplesand families, but he doesn't do
  • 00:06:55.995 --> 00:06:59.198
  • it always.
  • 00:06:59.232 --> 00:07:01.100
  • So don't let youremotions rule your life.
  • 00:07:01.133 --> 00:07:04.136
  • Don't let how youfeel rule your life.
  • 00:07:04.170 --> 00:07:07.306
  • Don't let, you know, emotions orfeelings on the inside, moved by
  • 00:07:07.340 --> 00:07:15.414
  • pain or pleasure, totake you in a direction.
  • 00:07:15.448 --> 00:07:20.286
  • Don't let negativeemotions rule your life.
  • 00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:23.222
  • Don't let those bad emotionsfrom the breakup, from the
  • 00:07:23.256 --> 00:07:25.758
  • divorce, even from the death;don't let it rule your life.
  • 00:07:25.791 --> 00:07:29.929
  • Don't let it take you to--downa path that you don't need to
  • 00:07:29.962 --> 00:07:32.398
  • go down.
  • 00:07:32.431 --> 00:07:34.300
  • We all have emotions, but it'simportant that we make sure
  • 00:07:34.333 --> 00:07:37.003
  • those emotions don't haveus, especially when
  • 00:07:37.036 --> 00:07:39.539
  • they're negative.
  • 00:07:39.572 --> 00:07:41.607
  • And I tell you, I seea lot of people who are
  • 00:07:41.641 --> 00:07:43.576
  • emotionally-ruled.
  • 00:07:43.609 --> 00:07:46.178
  • You know, 20, 30, 40 years goby and they still are broken
  • 00:07:46.212 --> 00:07:50.116
  • because here's God with thesolution, here is God with the
  • 00:07:50.149 --> 00:07:55.187
  • promise, "I'll heal your brokenheart," and we still allow our
  • 00:07:55.221 --> 00:07:59.525
  • emotions to reign in ourlife and to rule in our life.
  • 00:07:59.559 --> 00:08:04.697
  • And you cannot allow negativeemotions to rule your life.
  • 00:08:04.730 --> 00:08:09.869
  • It will keep you strandedin that same place.
  • 00:08:09.902 --> 00:08:13.239
  • Don't let disappointmentdestroy your self-identity.
  • 00:08:13.272 --> 00:08:17.743
  • Don't letdisappointment hurt you.
  • 00:08:17.777 --> 00:08:21.480
  • Don't let your hurts--youknow, somebody says, "Well, I'm
  • 00:08:21.514 --> 00:08:25.451
  • disappointed and Ifeel some kind of way.
  • 00:08:25.484 --> 00:08:29.188
  • And as a result of it, you hurtme and now my relationship with
  • 00:08:29.221 --> 00:08:35.094
  • God is hurt."
  • 00:08:35.127 --> 00:08:36.929
  • You know, somebody did somethingthat disappointed you and you're
  • 00:08:36.963 --> 00:08:39.966
  • upset with them and nowyou're upset with God.
  • 00:08:39.999 --> 00:08:44.837
  • You're upset with them and nowyou don't want to come to
  • 00:08:44.870 --> 00:08:47.940
  • church anymore.
  • 00:08:47.974 --> 00:08:49.809
  • You're upset with them and nowyou don't want to read your
  • 00:08:49.842 --> 00:08:51.577
  • Bible anymore.
  • 00:08:51.611 --> 00:08:53.412
  • See, you're mad at God, who'sthe only one that can help you.
  • 00:08:53.446 --> 00:08:57.450
  • And so you got to make sure thatthat broken relationship doesn't
  • 00:08:57.483 --> 00:09:00.453
  • have the potential to cause youto be mad at God or that that
  • 00:09:00.486 --> 00:09:06.826
  • brokenness doesn't hurtyour relationship with God.
  • 00:09:06.859 --> 00:09:11.664
  • Now, a broken relationship hasthe potential to destroy
  • 00:09:11.697 --> 00:09:15.768
  • your life.
  • 00:09:15.801 --> 00:09:17.870
  • It has the potential to destroyyour life, but only if you
  • 00:09:17.903 --> 00:09:21.607
  • let it.
  • 00:09:21.641 --> 00:09:23.976
  • Broken relationships and theemotions that come with it and
  • 00:09:24.010 --> 00:09:27.213
  • all of that stuff, it has thepotential of destroying your
  • 00:09:27.246 --> 00:09:30.783
  • life only if you let it.
  • 00:09:30.816 --> 00:09:34.520
  • Now, listen.
  • 00:09:34.553 --> 00:09:36.155
  • If you live on this planet--theBible says in this world you
  • 00:09:36.188 --> 00:09:38.357
  • will have tribulation,but be of good cheer.
  • 00:09:38.391 --> 00:09:40.993
  • The Bible says those that livegodly, those that live godly
  • 00:09:41.027 --> 00:09:45.164
  • shall have tribulation.
  • 00:09:45.197 --> 00:09:48.234
  • Trouble will come.
  • 00:09:48.267 --> 00:09:50.069
  • So you've got to make sure thatyou don't let life happen to
  • 00:09:50.102 --> 00:09:54.240
  • you, you happen to life.
  • 00:09:54.273 --> 00:09:57.309
  • But it's a choice.
  • 00:09:57.343 --> 00:09:59.178
  • Every person in here who isstill suffering from a broken
  • 00:09:59.211 --> 00:10:02.615
  • relationship,that's your choice.
  • 00:10:02.648 --> 00:10:07.053
  • Or every person who's tunedin today and you're--you know,
  • 00:10:07.086 --> 00:10:12.291
  • you've recovered from it, you'vegone to God, you've allowed God
  • 00:10:12.324 --> 00:10:16.195
  • to heal and deliver you,that was your choice.
  • 00:10:16.228 --> 00:10:19.999
  • See, you got to understandyou are a free moral agent.
  • 00:10:20.032 --> 00:10:23.436
  • Look at this Scripture:Deuteronomy chapter 30,
  • 00:10:23.469 --> 00:10:25.905
  • verse 19.
  • 00:10:25.938 --> 00:10:27.673
  • You are a free moral agent.
  • 00:10:27.707 --> 00:10:29.608
  • How long will you allow yourlife to be broken, messed
  • 00:10:29.642 --> 00:10:34.113
  • up, depressed?
  • 00:10:34.146 --> 00:10:36.482
  • How long will you be hurt?
  • 00:10:36.515 --> 00:10:38.551
  • How long will you be depressed?
  • 00:10:38.584 --> 00:10:40.953
  • You got to make a decision.
  • 00:10:40.986 --> 00:10:44.090
  • Every--decision is theopen door into reality.
  • 00:10:44.123 --> 00:10:47.660
  • And some of you arestill sitting there.
  • 00:10:47.693 --> 00:10:49.829
  • Thirty years have gone by andyou're still holding on to the
  • 00:10:49.862 --> 00:10:52.598
  • same hurt.
  • 00:10:52.631 --> 00:10:55.167
  • That's 'cause youhadn't made a decision.
  • 00:10:55.201 --> 00:10:56.936
  • I've discovered yougot to want to change.
  • 00:10:56.969 --> 00:10:59.705
  • You can talk to the greatesttherapists in the world and not
  • 00:10:59.739 --> 00:11:03.209
  • want to change, and guess what?
  • 00:11:03.242 --> 00:11:06.011
  • You won't change.
  • 00:11:06.045 --> 00:11:07.346
  • You have to make adecision to change.
  • 00:11:07.379 --> 00:11:09.081
  • You got to want to change.
  • 00:11:09.115 --> 00:11:10.816
  • You got to decide to change.
  • 00:11:10.850 --> 00:11:12.518
  • And once you make the decision,you open the door of reality up
  • 00:11:12.551 --> 00:11:14.887
  • and then you begin tosee your life changing.
  • 00:11:14.920 --> 00:11:18.190
  • Like I told you, sometimesthe best medicine for a broken
  • 00:11:18.224 --> 00:11:21.227
  • relationship is time.
  • 00:11:21.260 --> 00:11:24.563
  • And you got to let time happen,and then you've got to make the
  • 00:11:24.597 --> 00:11:28.234
  • decision, and then you got towalk the journey and do what
  • 00:11:28.267 --> 00:11:31.270
  • needs to be done; or you candecide, "I'm just going to
  • 00:11:31.303 --> 00:11:34.774
  • stay hurt.
  • 00:11:34.807 --> 00:11:36.375
  • Nobody likes me.
  • 00:11:36.408 --> 00:11:37.843
  • Everybody hates me.
  • 00:11:37.877 --> 00:11:39.411
  • That's why I got to eatcashews with no salt."
  • 00:11:39.445 --> 00:11:42.214
  • I don't know what it is.
  • 00:11:42.248 --> 00:11:43.816
  • You got to make your mind up:"I don't want to live in
  • 00:11:43.849 --> 00:11:45.885
  • this brokenness.
  • 00:11:45.918 --> 00:11:47.553
  • I don't want tolive in this hurt."
  • 00:11:47.586 --> 00:11:49.288
  • It's a sense of rejection.
  • 00:11:49.321 --> 00:11:50.823
  • It's a sense of, you know,why wouldn't I accept it?
  • 00:11:50.856 --> 00:11:54.226
  • All of these things.
  • 00:11:54.260 --> 00:11:55.961
  • You got to go forward.
  • 00:11:55.995 --> 00:11:57.930
  • Yes, it's painful; yes, ithurts; but you're not going to
  • 00:11:57.963 --> 00:12:00.633
  • get any better not making thedecision to step away from that
  • 00:12:00.666 --> 00:12:04.003
  • thing and, most importantly,receive what God has already
  • 00:12:04.036 --> 00:12:08.808
  • made available to you.
  • 00:12:08.841 --> 00:12:10.509
  • Look at this Scripture.
  • 00:12:10.543 --> 00:12:11.911
  • Verse 19 he says, "I call heavenand earth to record this day
  • 00:12:11.944 --> 00:12:15.214
  • against you, that I have setbefore you life and death.
  • 00:12:15.247 --> 00:12:20.820
  • I've set before youblessing and a cursing.
  • 00:12:20.853 --> 00:12:24.223
  • Therefore--"
  • 00:12:24.256 --> 00:12:25.858
  • He says, "If you're too dumb toknow what to choose, let me give
  • 00:12:25.891 --> 00:12:28.093
  • you a hint."
  • 00:12:28.127 --> 00:12:29.762
  • "Choose life, that boththou and thy seed may live."
  • 00:12:29.795 --> 00:12:36.235
  • See, you've got to be carefulnot to pass that down to
  • 00:12:36.268 --> 00:12:38.103
  • your children.
  • 00:12:38.137 --> 00:12:40.806
  • The hurt you receive from onegeneration, you never healed
  • 00:12:40.840 --> 00:12:44.577
  • from that or resolved that issueand then you start acting the
  • 00:12:44.610 --> 00:12:48.547
  • same way and put iton your children, no.
  • 00:12:48.581 --> 00:12:52.251
  • Make a decision that's going tobe worth passing down to
  • 00:12:52.284 --> 00:12:55.654
  • your children.
  • 00:12:55.688 --> 00:12:57.923
  • Make a decisionthat, "I choose life.
  • 00:12:57.957 --> 00:13:00.492
  • I choose a blessing."
  • 00:13:00.526 --> 00:13:02.728
  • Praise God.
  • 00:13:02.761 --> 00:13:04.563
  • "I choose to live and to takehold of what God has made
  • 00:13:04.597 --> 00:13:08.033
  • available to me."
  • 00:13:08.067 --> 00:13:09.702
  • I mean, listen to me.
  • 00:13:09.735 --> 00:13:11.337
  • There are lots of you rightnow--you know, you can wake up
  • 00:13:11.370 --> 00:13:14.173
  • in the morning and worry aboutthe things you cannot control,
  • 00:13:14.206 --> 00:13:17.276
  • or you could wake up in themorning and say, "You know what?
  • 00:13:17.309 --> 00:13:19.778
  • Here are some thingsthat I can do."
  • 00:13:19.812 --> 00:13:22.281
  • Well, you don't understand.
  • 00:13:22.314 --> 00:13:24.250
  • During the pandemic, you know,I'm just freaking out and this,
  • 00:13:24.283 --> 00:13:27.286
  • and I'm afraid and that,and I lost my job."
  • 00:13:27.319 --> 00:13:31.156
  • I know stuff happens.
  • 00:13:31.190 --> 00:13:33.225
  • Like my friend Kenny Fullersays, it's called life and there
  • 00:13:33.259 --> 00:13:36.395
  • are no exceptions.
  • 00:13:36.428 --> 00:13:38.898
  • But you can make a decision.
  • 00:13:38.931 --> 00:13:40.900
  • You can make a decision tochoose blessing, to choose life,
  • 00:13:40.933 --> 00:13:45.371
  • to choose to live.
  • 00:13:45.404 --> 00:13:47.973
  • Now, I think I've said enough.
  • 00:13:48.007 --> 00:13:50.442
  • Let's get into this.
  • 00:13:50.476 --> 00:13:52.311
  • Here's the question wewant to answer today.
  • 00:13:52.344 --> 00:13:54.513
  • How do I cope with abroken relationship?
  • 00:13:54.546 --> 00:13:57.750
  • How do I cope with a brokenrelationship that's left me with
  • 00:13:57.783 --> 00:14:02.454
  • a broken heart?
  • 00:14:02.488 --> 00:14:04.356
  • "And I hear what you're saying,pastor, but my heart is broken.
  • 00:14:04.390 --> 00:14:06.525
  • How do I get out of that?"
  • 00:14:06.558 --> 00:14:09.261
  • Now, I don't want to makethis real complicated.
  • 00:14:09.295 --> 00:14:12.464
  • I've discovered three things youneed to do in order to get out
  • 00:14:12.498 --> 00:14:17.903
  • of this brokenness.
  • 00:14:17.937 --> 00:14:19.738
  • Number one, you got tostop focusing on the broken
  • 00:14:19.772 --> 00:14:24.009
  • relationship, that's obvious.
  • 00:14:24.043 --> 00:14:26.979
  • Number two, you've got to makeyour mind up that, "I'm not
  • 00:14:27.012 --> 00:14:31.183
  • going to allow the brokenrelationship to affect
  • 00:14:31.216 --> 00:14:34.920
  • my self-identity.
  • 00:14:34.954 --> 00:14:38.490
  • I'm not going to allow thebroken relationship to mess up
  • 00:14:38.524 --> 00:14:43.595
  • my identity.
  • 00:14:43.629 --> 00:14:46.131
  • I'm not going to letit affect my identity."
  • 00:14:46.165 --> 00:14:48.467
  • Number three, I've got to acceptand I've got to be aware that
  • 00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:55.274
  • God may not restore thebroken relationship.
  • 00:14:55.307 --> 00:14:59.812
  • I've got to accept and be awarethat, you know, me coming to
  • 00:14:59.845 --> 00:15:04.149
  • church and sitting on the frontrow, and me coming to church and
  • 00:15:04.183 --> 00:15:08.020
  • praying with the prayer team,and me coming to church and
  • 00:15:08.053 --> 00:15:11.056
  • feeding the hungry, that maystill put me in a position where
  • 00:15:11.090 --> 00:15:14.793
  • that relationship isstill not restored.
  • 00:15:14.827 --> 00:15:18.297
  • There's a whole lot ofthings that are ahead of us.
  • 00:15:18.330 --> 00:15:21.000
  • And so in this last sermon ofthis series, I want to be very
  • 00:15:21.033 --> 00:15:24.937
  • practical today.
  • 00:15:24.970 --> 00:15:27.306
  • And so that's exactlywhat we want to deal with.
  • 00:15:27.339 --> 00:15:29.908
  • We want to deal withthose three areas.
  • 00:15:29.942 --> 00:15:31.710
  • How do I cope withbroken relationships?
  • 00:15:31.744 --> 00:15:33.579
  • Number one, don't focus onthe broken relationship.
  • 00:15:33.612 --> 00:15:36.482
  • How many of you are stillfocusing on a broken
  • 00:15:36.515 --> 00:15:38.484
  • relationship thathappened 20 years ago?
  • 00:15:38.517 --> 00:15:41.487
  • I know people like that.
  • 00:15:41.520 --> 00:15:43.055
  • I mean, years have gone by andyou're still focused on that
  • 00:15:43.088 --> 00:15:47.359
  • broken relationship.
  • 00:15:47.393 --> 00:15:49.661
  • Number two, don't allow abroken relationship to affect
  • 00:15:49.695 --> 00:15:52.631
  • your self-identity.
  • 00:15:52.664 --> 00:15:55.134
  • You know, I told you in thisseries that your identity is not
  • 00:15:55.167 --> 00:15:59.471
  • determined by people and it'snot determined by circumstances.
  • 00:15:59.505 --> 00:16:05.744
  • Your self-identity is determinedby your relationship with God,
  • 00:16:05.778 --> 00:16:12.885
  • and you are the acceptedand the beloved.
  • 00:16:12.918 --> 00:16:16.555
  • And then number three--this iswhat we're going to talk
  • 00:16:16.588 --> 00:16:18.857
  • about today.
  • 00:16:18.891 --> 00:16:20.426
  • Number three, you've got toaccept and be aware that God may
  • 00:16:20.459 --> 00:16:22.561
  • not restore thebroken relationship.
  • 00:16:22.594 --> 00:16:24.897
  • "Oh, Brother Dollar,but that ain't faith."
  • 00:16:24.930 --> 00:16:26.765
  • Whatever.
  • 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:28.167
  • I mean, there are people thatneed to go on and they're still
  • 00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:29.868
  • stuck in something thatbroke 20 years ago.
  • 00:16:29.902 --> 00:16:32.438
  • And we need to get out of that.
  • 00:16:32.471 --> 00:16:34.306
  • So part of accepting a brokenrelationship or a breakup
  • 00:16:34.339 --> 00:16:38.577
  • involves giving yourself timeand space to heal gently, time
  • 00:16:38.610 --> 00:16:43.015
  • and space to heal gently.
  • 00:16:43.048 --> 00:16:47.419
  • It's not going to do you anygood to have this stuff in your
  • 00:16:47.453 --> 00:16:50.422
  • head where, "Well, maybe if Isend them some food every night,
  • 00:16:50.456 --> 00:16:53.425
  • then they're goingto want me again," no.
  • 00:16:53.459 --> 00:16:55.727
  • You need some time andspace to heal gently from
  • 00:16:55.761 --> 00:16:58.764
  • that brokenness.
  • 00:16:58.797 --> 00:17:00.532
  • So let's get into this.
  • 00:17:00.566 --> 00:17:02.101
  • Let's deal with the first one.
  • 00:17:02.134 --> 00:17:04.436
  • Why focus on the breakup?
  • 00:17:04.470 --> 00:17:06.238
  • Why focus--excuse me.
  • 00:17:06.271 --> 00:17:07.673
  • Why focusing on thebreakup is a problem.
  • 00:17:07.706 --> 00:17:11.810
  • Why focusing on thebreakup is a problem.
  • 00:17:11.844 --> 00:17:15.547
  • So why is it a problem ifI focus on the breakup?
  • 00:17:15.581 --> 00:17:17.216
  • Well, number one, your energyand emotions are not being used
  • 00:17:17.249 --> 00:17:22.588
  • in healthy ways.
  • 00:17:22.621 --> 00:17:25.124
  • Your energy and youremotions--because you're
  • 00:17:25.157 --> 00:17:27.759
  • focusing on the breakup, yourenergy is going towards that,
  • 00:17:27.793 --> 00:17:32.097
  • your emotions are going towardsthat, and that's why it's a
  • 00:17:32.131 --> 00:17:35.501
  • problem for you tofocus on the breakup.
  • 00:17:35.534 --> 00:17:39.138
  • Your energy and emotions arenot being used in healthy ways.
  • 00:17:39.171 --> 00:17:42.508
  • Your--that's not a healthy thingfor you to do, to wake up and
  • 00:17:42.541 --> 00:17:45.511
  • use your energy or allow youremotions to be so, you know,
  • 00:17:45.544 --> 00:17:48.914
  • attached to the breakup.
  • 00:17:48.947 --> 00:17:53.385
  • Number two, you're fixating onthe past and missing the beauty
  • 00:17:53.418 --> 00:17:59.091
  • and the potential of thepresent and the future.
  • 00:17:59.124 --> 00:18:02.294
  • There are things that arewaiting for you in your future.
  • 00:18:02.327 --> 00:18:04.563
  • There are things that arewaiting for you in your future,
  • 00:18:04.596 --> 00:18:07.266
  • and your fixationis on the past.
  • 00:18:07.299 --> 00:18:09.768
  • And, man, it's a sad thing todie knowing that you're--you had
  • 00:18:09.801 --> 00:18:17.709
  • something amazing awaitingyou in your future, but you
  • 00:18:17.743 --> 00:18:20.546
  • just--you were sostuck on the past.
  • 00:18:20.579 --> 00:18:23.515
  • It's almost like having a ropeand somebody tied you to
  • 00:18:23.549 --> 00:18:26.652
  • the past.
  • 00:18:26.685 --> 00:18:28.053
  • Put a knot in the rope,tied you into the past.
  • 00:18:28.086 --> 00:18:30.455
  • And there are things that Godwants to do for you today.
  • 00:18:30.489 --> 00:18:33.025
  • There are things that God wantsto do for your future, but
  • 00:18:33.058 --> 00:18:36.628
  • there's a potentialin the future.
  • 00:18:36.662 --> 00:18:39.231
  • There's a beauty in the future,there's a call of God in the
  • 00:18:39.264 --> 00:18:43.068
  • future, there's an anointing inthe future, but your fixation on
  • 00:18:43.101 --> 00:18:48.373
  • the past is keeping you.
  • 00:18:48.407 --> 00:18:50.609
  • You're--that rope that's beentied in a knot to that hurt, to
  • 00:18:50.642 --> 00:18:53.645
  • that pain is stopping you fromgoing to see what God wants to
  • 00:18:53.679 --> 00:18:58.083
  • do today and what God wantsto do in your upcoming future.
  • 00:18:58.116 --> 00:19:02.654
  • Number three, clinging to yourdisappointment that God hasn't
  • 00:19:02.688 --> 00:19:07.593
  • restored this relationshipgives you a permanent
  • 00:19:07.626 --> 00:19:11.763
  • negative mindset.
  • 00:19:11.797 --> 00:19:14.433
  • Oh my God, he hadn'trestored the relationship.
  • 00:19:14.466 --> 00:19:16.868
  • So you are--you got apermanent negative mindset.
  • 00:19:16.902 --> 00:19:21.273
  • And I tell you, whatever yourmind is set on, that's where
  • 00:19:21.306 --> 00:19:24.710
  • your life is set on, a permanentnegative mindset because God
  • 00:19:24.743 --> 00:19:29.181
  • hasn't restoredthe relationship.
  • 00:19:29.214 --> 00:19:32.150
  • Imagine that.
  • 00:19:32.184 --> 00:19:33.986
  • Imagine getting up in themorning with a negative mindset
  • 00:19:34.019 --> 00:19:36.054
  • because the relationshiphadn't been restored.
  • 00:19:36.088 --> 00:19:38.123
  • On your way to work with thatnegative mindset because the
  • 00:19:38.156 --> 00:19:40.592
  • relationship hadn'tbeen restored.
  • 00:19:40.626 --> 00:19:42.694
  • Even getting down to praywith that mindset because that
  • 00:19:42.728 --> 00:19:46.164
  • relationship hasnot been restored.
  • 00:19:46.198 --> 00:19:49.268
  • And so you've got to letgo of the disappointment.
  • 00:19:49.301 --> 00:19:52.371
  • Disappointment lot of timescomes when you are expecting
  • 00:19:52.404 --> 00:19:57.075
  • something and it'snot fulfilled.
  • 00:19:57.109 --> 00:20:00.245
  • And so you're expectingsomething to happen, but you get
  • 00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:03.482
  • up every day and ithadn't happened yet.
  • 00:20:03.515 --> 00:20:05.917
  • That's disappointment.
  • 00:20:05.951 --> 00:20:07.919
  • You're living your life inconstant disappointment.
  • 00:20:07.953 --> 00:20:11.156
  • And so we shouldn't liveour lives like that.
  • 00:20:11.189 --> 00:20:14.192
  • Imagine having that mindset.
  • 00:20:14.226 --> 00:20:16.028
  • Imagine what that'sdoing to you.
  • 00:20:16.061 --> 00:20:18.163
  • Imagine the stress that comesover your life 'cause you won't
  • 00:20:18.196 --> 00:20:21.033
  • let it go, and it's timefor you to let it go.
  • 00:20:21.066 --> 00:20:23.435
  • You got to let it go.
  • 00:20:23.468 --> 00:20:25.437
  • So instead of seeing thepossibilities in front of you,
  • 00:20:25.470 --> 00:20:27.973
  • you're reliving the pain of thepast and you're reliving that
  • 00:20:28.006 --> 00:20:31.910
  • same thing over and over again.
  • 00:20:31.943 --> 00:20:34.613
  • And you got to stop doing that.
  • 00:20:34.646 --> 00:20:36.581
  • You got to stop that.
  • 00:20:36.615 --> 00:20:38.216
  • "Well, pastor, I wantmore Scriptures."
  • 00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:39.851
  • No, I need to talk to you 'causeyou got to stop reliving the
  • 00:20:39.885 --> 00:20:41.853
  • pain of your past.
  • 00:20:41.887 --> 00:20:44.156
  • There are some thingsthat are ahead of you.
  • 00:20:44.189 --> 00:20:46.024
  • There are some better thingsthat are ahead of you, and
  • 00:20:46.058 --> 00:20:48.627
  • you've got to stop closing upthe possibilities that are in
  • 00:20:48.660 --> 00:20:53.565
  • front of you as you continue tolive by the pain of your past.
  • 00:20:53.598 --> 00:20:57.336
  • Focusing on the breakupis destroying your life.
  • 00:20:57.369 --> 00:21:01.540
  • Somebody said, "Thedevil's doing it," no.
  • 00:21:01.573 --> 00:21:03.675
  • Focusing on the breakupis destroying your life.
  • 00:21:03.709 --> 00:21:07.212
  • I mean, look at it.
  • 00:21:07.245 --> 00:21:09.181
  • Have you evaluatedyour life right now?
  • 00:21:09.214 --> 00:21:11.483
  • Have you evaluated youremotions right now?
  • 00:21:11.516 --> 00:21:14.186
  • You're focusing on the breakup.
  • 00:21:14.219 --> 00:21:16.254
  • It is destroying your life.
  • 00:21:16.288 --> 00:21:19.524
  • Let me give you one morebefore we leave this.
  • 00:21:19.558 --> 00:21:23.595
  • You can't grow forward ifall you see are obstacles to
  • 00:21:26.531 --> 00:21:31.636
  • overcoming your broken heart.
  • 00:21:31.670 --> 00:21:36.274
  • You can't grow forward ifall you see are obstacles to
  • 00:21:36.308 --> 00:21:39.544
  • overcoming your broken heart.
  • 00:21:39.578 --> 00:21:43.982
  • Everything is an obstacle, andyou're not going to be able to
  • 00:21:44.015 --> 00:21:48.019
  • grow forward.
  • 00:21:48.053 --> 00:21:50.055
  • You're going to haveto have some peace.
  • 00:21:50.088 --> 00:21:53.225
  • You're going to have to do somethings in order to get out of
  • 00:21:53.258 --> 00:21:57.529
  • this focus--this wrong focus.
  • 00:21:57.562 --> 00:22:00.065
  • Let me give you threeScriptures here.
  • 00:22:00.098 --> 00:22:02.000
  • Let's look at Isaiah26 and 3 first.
  • 00:22:02.033 --> 00:22:05.637
  • "Practically then,Pastor Dollar.
  • 00:22:05.670 --> 00:22:07.439
  • I'm convinced I need to goforward, I'm convinced I need to
  • 00:22:07.472 --> 00:22:09.107
  • quit reliving the things in thepast, but what do I do
  • 00:22:09.141 --> 00:22:11.243
  • every day?
  • 00:22:11.276 --> 00:22:12.911
  • Give me somethingpractical to do every day."
  • 00:22:12.944 --> 00:22:16.348
  • Well, Isaiah 26 and 3 says this:"Thou wilt keep him in perfect
  • 00:22:16.381 --> 00:22:20.952
  • peace, whose mind is stayedon," the broken relationship.
  • 00:22:20.986 --> 00:22:23.822
  • Absolutely not.
  • 00:22:23.855 --> 00:22:25.290
  • Whose mind is stayed on him.
  • 00:22:25.323 --> 00:22:27.125
  • He'll keep you in perfect peace,whose mind is stayed on thee
  • 00:22:27.159 --> 00:22:29.361
  • because he, what?
  • 00:22:29.394 --> 00:22:31.062
  • "He trusteth in thee."
  • 00:22:31.096 --> 00:22:32.697
  • And so now you got a choice.
  • 00:22:32.731 --> 00:22:34.065
  • You keep your mind on the brokenrelationship or you get your
  • 00:22:34.099 --> 00:22:35.700
  • mind on him, you get your mindon the Word, you get your mind
  • 00:22:35.734 --> 00:22:38.069
  • on the call of God in yourlife, you get your mind on the
  • 00:22:38.103 --> 00:22:41.006
  • possibilities of that future.
  • 00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:43.341
  • You know, you're going to winit or lose it in the mind.
  • 00:22:43.375 --> 00:22:46.445
  • The mind is the arena of faith.
  • 00:22:46.478 --> 00:22:48.346
  • "As a man thinketh inhis heart, so is he."
  • 00:22:48.380 --> 00:22:50.182
  • So you've got to--you got tomake yourself, force yourself,
  • 00:22:50.215 --> 00:22:54.252
  • "I'm going to get my mind andI'm going to keep my mind stayed
  • 00:22:54.286 --> 00:22:56.455
  • on the Word."
  • 00:22:56.488 --> 00:22:58.089
  • Get you about five or sixScriptures that you can get your
  • 00:22:58.123 --> 00:23:00.392
  • mind stayed on that Word.
  • 00:23:00.425 --> 00:23:02.060
  • And every time the temptationto think about that breakup, you
  • 00:23:02.093 --> 00:23:05.530
  • get your mind on that Word.
  • 00:23:05.564 --> 00:23:07.365
  • You say it with your mouth.
  • 00:23:07.399 --> 00:23:08.767
  • You get your mind on that Word.
  • 00:23:08.800 --> 00:23:10.135
  • You say it with your mouth.
  • 00:23:10.168 --> 00:23:11.536
  • You meditate in thatWord day and night.
  • 00:23:11.570 --> 00:23:14.139
  • That's a part of it.
  • 00:23:14.172 --> 00:23:15.574
  • And the Bible says, "I'llkeep him in perfect peace."
  • 00:23:15.607 --> 00:23:16.975
  • Who?
  • 00:23:17.008 --> 00:23:18.410
  • Whose mind is stayed on thee.
  • 00:23:18.443 --> 00:23:19.778
  • Well, why?
  • 00:23:19.811 --> 00:23:21.146
  • Because you trust him.
  • 00:23:21.179 --> 00:23:22.547
  • See, it's one thing foryou to say, "I trust God."
  • 00:23:22.581 --> 00:23:24.149
  • It's another thing to rely onhim in the midst of pain and in
  • 00:23:24.182 --> 00:23:27.152
  • the midst of hurt.
  • 00:23:27.185 --> 00:23:29.221
  • I mean, some people just wantGod to just magically say,
  • 00:23:29.254 --> 00:23:31.156
  • "Voila," you know, andthen it would be over with.
  • 00:23:31.189 --> 00:23:33.692
  • But, you know, when you takethese steps to say, "Here's what
  • 00:23:33.725 --> 00:23:36.628
  • I'm going to do.
  • 00:23:36.661 --> 00:23:38.163
  • I've made a decision tocome out of this pain.
  • 00:23:38.196 --> 00:23:39.564
  • So I'm going to go getme some Scriptures.
  • 00:23:39.598 --> 00:23:41.500
  • I'm going to meditateon those Scriptures.
  • 00:23:41.533 --> 00:23:43.535
  • I'm going to keep my mind stayedon him and he's going to keep me
  • 00:23:43.568 --> 00:23:45.704
  • in perfect peace."
  • 00:23:45.737 --> 00:23:47.906
  • Now, if you're lying around thehouse all day eating donuts and
  • 00:23:47.939 --> 00:23:49.875
  • just thinking about the breakupand depressed and stuff like
  • 00:23:49.908 --> 00:23:53.478
  • that, that's your choice.
  • 00:23:53.512 --> 00:23:57.782
  • And you're going to have tochoose differently if you want
  • 00:23:57.816 --> 00:24:00.285
  • to have something different.
  • 00:24:00.318 --> 00:24:02.420
  • announcer: God promised todeliver us from unresolved
  • 00:24:02.454 --> 00:24:06.391
  • brokenness and makeus whole again.
  • 00:24:06.424 --> 00:24:07.759
  • Today's offer is a six-messageseries, "How to Heal from
  • 00:24:07.792 --> 00:24:11.429
  • Brokenness," and is availabletoday for a love gift of 35 USD
  • 00:24:11.463 --> 00:24:15.967
  • or more.
  • 00:24:16.001 --> 00:24:18.069
  • As an added bonus, wehave combined the "How to Heal
  • 00:24:18.103 --> 00:24:20.038
  • from Brokenness" series with thepowerful CD, "Heart of Nations."
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  • This combo can be yours for alove gift of 45 USD or more.
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  • Don't miss this opportunityto order yours today.
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  • announcer: Calling allmen from around the world.
  • 00:24:33.518 --> 00:24:35.453
  • Join us for Mentality 2020.
  • 00:24:35.487 --> 00:24:38.189
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:24:38.223 --> 00:24:41.393
  • Creflo: A man that cannotcontrol his emotions is the
  • 00:24:41.426 --> 00:24:44.529
  • weakest man on the planet.
  • 00:24:44.563 --> 00:24:47.065
  • Michael Smith: I'm nervousto share this message with
  • 00:24:47.098 --> 00:24:48.567
  • you today.
  • 00:24:48.600 --> 00:24:49.968
  • Touré Roberts: Igot an honest question.
  • 00:24:50.001 --> 00:24:51.570
  • Michael: 'Cause it'sgonna get nitty and gritty.
  • 00:24:51.603 --> 00:24:52.971
  • Touré: We should be ableto talk about certain stuff.
  • 00:24:53.004 --> 00:24:54.573
  • announcer: Realmen, real talk.
  • 00:24:54.606 --> 00:24:55.974
  • Join us for a revival ofmanhood at the Mentality
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  • Men's Conference.
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  • You don't want to miss out.
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  • Register now atCREFLODOLLARMINISTRIES.ORG.
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  • Creflo: Jesus instructed usto take this gospel to the
  • 00:25:03.982 --> 00:25:06.217
  • uttermost parts of the earth.
  • 00:25:06.251 --> 00:25:08.620
  • With the seeds you sow intoCreflo Dollar Ministries, we
  • 00:25:08.653 --> 00:25:11.189
  • extend this good news ofgrace to people on every
  • 00:25:11.222 --> 00:25:14.259
  • single continent.
  • 00:25:14.292 --> 00:25:16.061
  • They are empowered to seereal change in their lives.
  • 00:25:16.094 --> 00:25:18.730
  • That's exactly what you dowhen you send in your financial
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  • donations to supportour outreach endeavors.
  • 00:25:22.467 --> 00:25:25.804
  • You empower change in people'slives, and for that we say thank
  • 00:25:25.837 --> 00:25:30.342
  • you and God bless you.
  • 00:25:30.375 --> 00:25:32.577
  • I'll see you next time righthere on "Changing Your World."
  • 00:25:32.611 --> 00:25:37.782
  • announcer: If you want to honorthe Lord by sowing financial
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  • seeds into Creflo DollarMinistries, call the number on
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  • your screen or log on tocreflodollarministries.org.
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  • announcer: There is apurpose for your life.
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  • Introducing Grace Life Academy,an innovative approach to
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  • learning God's Word.
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  • Grace Life Academy offersunlimited access with hundreds
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  • of hours of online teachings.
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  • You'll have access tocomprehensive video Bible
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  • lessons that include featuressuch as e-courses, study guides,
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  • an online community,quizzes, and more.
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  • Text "GLA" to 51555 or go onlineto MyGraceLifeAcademy.com.
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  • announcer: Creflo and TaffiDollar love connecting with you,
  • 00:26:19.958 --> 00:26:21.559
  • and here at World Changers weunderstand the importance of
  • 00:26:21.593 --> 00:26:23.795
  • using technologyto do just that.
  • 00:26:23.828 --> 00:26:27.132
  • We're constantly working tobring the gospel of Christ to
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  • thousands of viewers andfollowers around the world, and
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  • we want you to get involved.
  • 00:26:32.704 --> 00:26:34.606
  • Follow us on Facebook,Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.
  • 00:26:34.639 --> 00:26:39.277
  • We want to make the Word ofgrace available throughout every
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  • voice of social media.
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  • announcer: Your generosityallows us to make a difference
  • 00:26:45.483 --> 00:26:47.285
  • in the lives of peopleall over the world.
  • 00:26:47.318 --> 00:26:51.256
  • announcer: ThroughCreflo Dollar Global Missions,
  • 00:26:51.289 --> 00:26:53.358
  • we are providing food, clothing,crucial supplies, and the Word
  • 00:26:53.391 --> 00:26:56.327
  • of God to people in the mostremote regions of the world.
  • 00:26:56.361 --> 00:26:59.698
  • Because of you, Creflo DollarMinistries is providing a new
  • 00:26:59.731 --> 00:27:02.634
  • understanding of grace andempowering change in the lives
  • 00:27:02.667 --> 00:27:06.137
  • of millions of people every day.
  • 00:27:06.171 --> 00:27:08.506
  • Thank you, partners and friends.
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  • Your love and financial supportmakes it possible to bring
  • 00:27:10.475 --> 00:27:13.044
  • this message into millions ofhomes all across the globe.
  • 00:27:13.078 --> 00:27:17.649
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:27:17.682 --> 00:27:23.988