Guest Casey Diaz
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Guest Casey Diaz
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- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.090
- [SMOOCH]
- 00:00:02.090 --> 00:00:04.220
- [WHOOSH]
- 00:00:04.220 --> 00:00:06.020
- [DOOR SLAMMING]
- 00:00:06.020 --> 00:00:07.030
- [BING]
- 00:00:07.030 --> 00:00:07.260
- [REVVING, SCREECHING]
- 00:00:07.260 --> 00:00:08.240
- [PLOP]
- 00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:09.240
- [WHOOSH]
- 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:11.080
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:12.120
- - MALE: HEY.
- 00:00:12.120 --> 00:00:14.000
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:16.250
- [BOINK]
- 00:00:16.250 --> 00:00:18.060
- [ENGINE REVVING]
- 00:00:18.060 --> 00:00:19.110
- [BRAKES SQUEALING]
- 00:00:19.110 --> 00:00:22.020
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:23.060 --> 00:00:26.060
- [CRASH]
- 00:00:26.090 --> 00:00:29.090
- [CHEERS]
- 00:00:29.090 --> 00:00:30.230
- [MUSIC]
- 00:00:30.230 --> 00:00:31.290
- - ERIC METAXAS: HEY, FOLKS,
- 00:00:37.040 --> 00:00:37.270
- IT'S I, ERIC METAXAS.
- 00:00:37.270 --> 00:00:39.080
- I AM SO EXCITED.
- 00:00:39.080 --> 00:00:40.080
- WE HAVE AN AMAZING GUEST TODAY,
- 00:00:40.080 --> 00:00:41.130
- DON'T LEAVE, WHATEVER YOU'RE
- 00:00:46.080 --> 00:00:47.180
- DOING, BECAUSE THIS IS
- 00:00:47.180 --> 00:00:48.140
- ONE OF THOSE STORIES.
- 00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:49.200
- I'M SITTING HERE IN THE STUDIO
- 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:51.010
- WITH CASEY DIAZ.
- 00:00:51.010 --> 00:00:53.200
- THE BOOK IS "THE SHOT CALLER: A
- 00:00:53.270 --> 00:00:56.270
- LATINO GANGBANGER'S MIRACULOUS
- 00:00:56.270 --> 00:00:58.250
- ESCAPE FROM A LIFE OF VIOLENCE
- 00:00:58.250 --> 00:01:00.210
- TO A NEW LIFE IN CHRIST."
- 00:01:00.210 --> 00:01:02.260
- CASEY DIAZ, WELCOME.
- 00:01:03.140 --> 00:01:06.140
- - CASEY DIAZ: THANK YOU FOR
- 00:01:06.140 --> 00:01:07.040
- HAVING ME.
- 00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:07.220
- - ERIC: YOU HAVE AN
- 00:01:07.220 --> 00:01:08.080
- UNBELIEVABLE-- I MEAN, A LIFE
- 00:01:08.080 --> 00:01:08.290
- OF VIOLENCE DOESN'T DO
- 00:01:08.290 --> 00:01:09.180
- JUSTICE TO YOUR STORY.
- 00:01:09.180 --> 00:01:10.060
- I MEAN, IT'S WORSE THAN A LOT--
- 00:01:10.060 --> 00:01:11.280
- I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAD A
- 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:13.100
- LIFE OF VIOLENCE.
- 00:01:13.100 --> 00:01:13.280
- YOU'RE TALKIN' A LIFE OF
- 00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:14.290
- EXTREME VIOLENCE.
- 00:01:14.290 --> 00:01:16.210
- SO I WANNA GET YOUR STORY.
- 00:01:16.210 --> 00:01:18.150
- WHERE DO WE START?
- 00:01:18.150 --> 00:01:20.060
- - CASEY: WHEREVER YOU LIKE,
- 00:01:20.060 --> 00:01:21.030
- HUH?
- 00:01:21.030 --> 00:01:22.030
- - ERIC: TELL THE STORY OF
- 00:01:22.030 --> 00:01:22.220
- COMING TO AMERICA.
- 00:01:22.220 --> 00:01:23.080
- - CASEY: I WAS TWO YEARS OLD.
- 00:01:25.210 --> 00:01:26.120
- - ERIC: TWO, ALL RIGHT, SO
- 00:01:26.120 --> 00:01:27.020
- WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A
- 00:01:27.020 --> 00:01:27.190
- LOT OF DETAILS.
- 00:01:27.190 --> 00:01:28.030
- YOU WERE TWO, RIGHT?
- 00:01:28.030 --> 00:01:28.220
- - CASEY: YEAH, EXACTLY.
- 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:29.170
- AND WE SETTLED IN WHAT'S CALLED
- 00:01:32.190 --> 00:01:33.200
- THE RAMPART DISTRICT OF
- 00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:34.180
- LOS ANGELES.
- 00:01:34.180 --> 00:01:36.100
- - ERIC: OKAY, AND YOU GOT
- 00:01:36.100 --> 00:01:37.140
- INVOLVED IN VIOLENCE
- 00:01:37.140 --> 00:01:39.070
- EXTREMELY YOUNG.
- 00:01:39.070 --> 00:01:40.160
- TELL US THE STORY.
- 00:01:40.160 --> 00:01:42.000
- - CASEY: I WAS 11 YEARS OLD.
- 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.140
- YOU KNOW, IT WAS AT A TIME WHERE
- 00:01:43.140 --> 00:01:46.040
- KIDS WERE STILL PLAYING OUTSIDE,
- 00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:47.070
- BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL, AND A LOT
- 00:01:47.070 --> 00:01:49.240
- OF OUTSIDE, OUTDOOR ACTIVITY,
- 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:53.000
- BUT THE ONLY ELEMENT WITH ME WAS
- 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.200
- THAT MY FOLKS-- WITH MY MOM, YOU
- 00:01:54.200 --> 00:01:57.130
- KNOW, SHE WORKED AS A SEAMSTRESS
- 00:01:57.130 --> 00:01:59.240
- IN DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES,
- 00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:01.110
- SO SHE'D LEAVE AT 4 IN
- 00:02:01.110 --> 00:02:03.090
- THE MORNING AND THEN
- 00:02:03.090 --> 00:02:05.010
- WOULDN'T COME BACK UNTIL
- 00:02:05.010 --> 00:02:06.140
- AROUND 10, 11 AT NIGHT,
- 00:02:06.140 --> 00:02:08.050
- AND THEN, MY FATHER, WHO WAS
- 00:02:08.050 --> 00:02:10.210
- NEVER WORKING, HE WAS ALWAYS OUT
- 00:02:10.210 --> 00:02:11.180
- THERE, AND, YOU KNOW, HE'D BE
- 00:02:11.180 --> 00:02:13.050
- SELLING WEED OUT THERE AND--
- 00:02:13.050 --> 00:02:15.030
- - ERIC: YOUR FATHER WAS
- 00:02:15.030 --> 00:02:16.140
- SELLING WEED?
- 00:02:16.140 --> 00:02:18.020
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:02:18.020 --> 00:02:18.170
- - ERIC: WOW.
- 00:02:18.170 --> 00:02:19.130
- - CASEY: SO, THEN, YOU KNOW,
- 00:02:19.130 --> 00:02:20.150
- THE DRUG EPIDEMIC IN THE '80s IN
- 00:02:20.150 --> 00:02:21.070
- LOS ANGELES HAD JUST STARTED, SO
- 00:02:21.070 --> 00:02:22.230
- HERE'S A YOUNG BOY BEING LEFT,
- 00:02:24.250 --> 00:02:27.250
- ESSENTIALLY, UNSUPERVISED, AND
- 00:02:27.250 --> 00:02:30.120
- THAT BECOMES THE DANGER IN
- 00:02:30.130 --> 00:02:33.130
- AND OF ITSELF.
- 00:02:33.130 --> 00:02:35.070
- - ERIC: SO AT WHAT POINT DO YOU
- 00:02:35.070 --> 00:02:36.110
- GO INTO GANG-- TO BEING A PART
- 00:02:36.130 --> 00:02:39.130
- OF THIS GANG WITH THE VIOLENCE?
- 00:02:39.130 --> 00:02:41.270
- - CASEY: I WAS INTRODUCED TO
- 00:02:41.270 --> 00:02:43.150
- THE GANG CULTURE, 11 YEARS OLD.
- 00:02:43.150 --> 00:02:44.250
- GANG STARTED MOVE IN.
- 00:02:44.250 --> 00:02:47.200
- YOU KNOW, YOU START BECOMING
- 00:02:47.260 --> 00:02:50.260
- AWARE, AND I WAS INTRODUCED TO
- 00:02:50.260 --> 00:02:53.030
- THIS PARTICULAR GANG BY ONE OF
- 00:02:53.060 --> 00:02:56.060
- THE GUYS THAT WE HUNG OUT
- 00:02:56.060 --> 00:02:57.150
- OUTSIDE, AND IT LURED ME IN.
- 00:02:57.160 --> 00:03:00.180
- IT BECAME A FALSE SENSE OF
- 00:03:00.180 --> 00:03:03.000
- FAMILY THAT I DIDN'T
- 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:04.190
- HAVE AT HOME.
- 00:03:04.190 --> 00:03:06.180
- - ERIC: YOU KNOW, YOU HEAR THIS
- 00:03:06.180 --> 00:03:07.100
- OVER AND OVER AND OVER THAT IT'S
- 00:03:07.100 --> 00:03:08.140
- LIKE A FAMILY, THAT PEOPLE ARE
- 00:03:08.140 --> 00:03:09.230
- LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.
- 00:03:09.230 --> 00:03:12.010
- THEY DON'T HAVE IT, AND THEY
- 00:03:12.010 --> 00:03:12.260
- FIND IT IN THE GANG.
- 00:03:12.260 --> 00:03:13.230
- SO WHAT DO YOU DO AT 11 OR 12?
- 00:03:13.230 --> 00:03:16.060
- I MEAN, WHAT-- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
- 00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:17.290
- A KID AT THAT POINT.
- 00:03:17.290 --> 00:03:19.190
- WHAT HAPPENS?
- 00:03:19.190 --> 00:03:21.210
- - CASEY: UNFORTUNATELY, THERE
- 00:03:21.210 --> 00:03:22.240
- WAS A GANG LEADER THAT TOOK ME
- 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:25.010
- UNDER HIS WING.
- 00:03:25.010 --> 00:03:27.000
- FOR WHATEVER REASON, HE TOOK A
- 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:29.000
- LIKING TO ME, AND SO HERE YOU
- 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.240
- ARE, AT 11 YEARS OLD, HANGING
- 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:33.030
- OUT WITH A VERY POPULAR GANG
- 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:34.250
- LEADER OF THIS GANG, AND HE
- 00:03:34.250 --> 00:03:36.170
- TAKES ME TO MY FIRST, YOU KNOW,
- 00:03:36.170 --> 00:03:38.180
- STEALING OF A CAR.
- 00:03:38.180 --> 00:03:40.280
- WE DO SOME THINGS, YOU KNOW, AND
- 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:43.080
- ONE EVENT IS WHAT STARTED TO
- 00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:45.170
- REALLY CHANGE EVERYTHING.
- 00:03:45.170 --> 00:03:48.140
- WE WENT AND, WHAT WE CALL,
- 00:03:49.130 --> 00:03:52.130
- "JUMPED" A RIVAL GANG MEMBER,
- 00:03:52.130 --> 00:03:53.180
- AND, BASICALLY, WE WERE
- 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:55.090
- IN A STOLEN CAR.
- 00:03:55.090 --> 00:03:56.270
- WE WENT AND LOOKED FOR HIM,
- 00:03:56.270 --> 00:03:57.270
- FOUND HIM AND ASSAULTED HIM, AND
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- HE ENDED UP STABBING THE GUY,
- 00:03:59.110 --> 00:04:01.080
- AND THEN GAVE ME THE SCREWDRIVER
- 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:03.020
- AND SAID, "YOUR TURN,"
- 00:04:03.090 --> 00:04:06.090
- AND THAT WAS MY FIRST STABBING
- 00:04:06.090 --> 00:04:07.070
- AT 11 YEARS OLD.
- 00:04:07.070 --> 00:04:08.220
- - ERIC: YOU WERE 11?
- 00:04:08.220 --> 00:04:10.030
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:04:10.030 --> 00:04:11.150
- - ERIC: WHAT DID THAT
- 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:12.020
- DO TO YOU?
- 00:04:12.020 --> 00:04:13.070
- SOMETIMES AT THAT AGE, YOU'RE SO
- 00:04:13.070 --> 00:04:13.290
- YOUNG THAT YOU'RE NOT SENSITIVE
- 00:04:13.290 --> 00:04:14.220
- THE WAY YOU ARE WHEN YOU'RE
- 00:04:14.220 --> 00:04:16.160
- OLDER.
- 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:17.170
- I MEAN, DID IT-- HOW DID
- 00:04:17.170 --> 00:04:18.170
- YOU FEEL?
- 00:04:18.170 --> 00:04:19.260
- - CASEY: WELL, YOU KNOW, IN MY
- 00:04:19.260 --> 00:04:20.200
- HOME, THERE WAS A LOT OF
- 00:04:20.200 --> 00:04:22.010
- VIOLENCE TO START OFF WITH.
- 00:04:22.010 --> 00:04:23.040
- MY FATHER WAS EXTREMELY VIOLENT.
- 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:24.280
- HE BEAT MY MOM.
- 00:04:24.280 --> 00:04:26.200
- I MEAN, THERE WAS NOT ONE WEEK
- 00:04:26.200 --> 00:04:28.140
- THAT MY MOM WAS NOT BEAT
- 00:04:28.140 --> 00:04:30.030
- SENSELESSLY AND LEFT IN A POOL
- 00:04:30.030 --> 00:04:32.050
- OF BLOOD BY THE HANDS OF MY
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- FATHER, SO I SAW THAT, AND AT
- 00:04:34.010 --> 00:04:35.160
- EIGHT YEARS OLD, I SAW A-- I
- 00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:36.200
- WITNESSED A TRIPLE HOMICIDE
- 00:04:36.200 --> 00:04:39.110
- RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES AT ABOUT
- 00:04:39.110 --> 00:04:40.190
- 20 FEET AWAY.
- 00:04:40.190 --> 00:04:43.060
- - ERIC: AT EIGHT?
- 00:04:43.060 --> 00:04:44.060
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:45.080
- - CASEY: THREE MEN WERE GUNNED
- 00:04:45.080 --> 00:04:46.000
- DOWN IN FRONT OF ME.
- 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.040
- - ERIC: ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE
- 00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:50.190
- 11 YEARS OLD.
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- YOU'RE BEING INITIATED INTO
- 00:04:51.250 --> 00:04:52.290
- MURDER, VIOLENCE.
- 00:04:53.050 --> 00:04:56.050
- I IMAGINE, IF YOU START THERE,
- 00:04:56.050 --> 00:04:58.290
- IT DOESN'T GET BETTER.
- 00:04:58.290 --> 00:05:00.220
- HOW DID THINGS DEVELOP SO THAT
- 00:05:00.220 --> 00:05:02.200
- - CASEY: WELL, YOU KNOW, I
- 00:05:07.030 --> 00:05:08.230
- THINK THAT, ONCE YOU START TO
- 00:05:08.230 --> 00:05:10.010
- GET USED TO A CERTAIN KIND OF
- 00:05:10.010 --> 00:05:11.060
- LIFESTYLE-- WELL, IN ANYTHING,
- 00:05:11.060 --> 00:05:11.270
- IT BECOMES NORMAL, AND, FOR ME,
- 00:05:11.270 --> 00:05:13.160
- AND SO, YOU KNOW, FROM ME
- 00:05:16.230 --> 00:05:18.180
- PARTAKING IN THE STABBING AT 11,
- 00:05:18.180 --> 00:05:19.200
- A CRAVING STARTED TO HAPPEN
- 00:05:19.200 --> 00:05:22.160
- WITHIN ME, AND I NEEDED
- 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:23.290
- TO GO OUT THERE.
- 00:05:23.290 --> 00:05:26.020
- I WANTED TO GO OUT THERE.
- 00:05:26.020 --> 00:05:27.060
- I SAW WHAT IT DID IN THE EYES
- 00:05:27.060 --> 00:05:29.210
- OF OTHER GANG MEMBERS.
- 00:05:29.210 --> 00:05:31.170
- I SAW THE FEAR THAT IT WAS
- 00:05:31.170 --> 00:05:34.100
- BRINGING, AND THAT CRAVE ALSO,
- 00:05:34.150 --> 00:05:37.150
- YOU KNOW, JUMPED OVER, AND I
- 00:05:37.150 --> 00:05:40.020
- JUST NEEDED TO DO THAT, AND IT
- 00:05:40.020 --> 00:05:42.000
- BECAME AN EVERYDAY THING WHERE I
- 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:43.130
- WENT OUT THERE AND SOUGHT-AFTER
- 00:05:43.130 --> 00:05:45.010
- GANG RIVALS, AND DID WHATEVER
- 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:48.040
- I NEEDED TO DO.
- 00:05:48.050 --> 00:05:51.050
- - ERIC: SO YOU ENJOYED
- 00:05:51.050 --> 00:05:52.000
- THE VIOLENCE?
- 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.050
- - CASEY: I DID.
- 00:05:53.050 --> 00:05:54.050
- - ERIC: AND HOW OLD-- HOW LONG
- 00:05:54.050 --> 00:05:55.280
- DOES THIS GO ON FOR?
- 00:05:55.280 --> 00:05:56.200
- - CASEY: FOR A PERIOD OF ABOUT
- 00:05:56.200 --> 00:05:57.290
- FIVE YEARS UNTIL I GET ARRESTED
- 00:05:57.290 --> 00:05:59.190
- AT 16 YEARS OLD FOR A
- 00:05:59.190 --> 00:06:01.150
- GANG-RELATED MURDER.
- 00:06:01.150 --> 00:06:03.240
- - ERIC: OKAY, SO YOU-- NOW, I'M
- 00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:07.040
- IMAGINING THAT YOU WERE INVOLVED
- 00:06:07.040 --> 00:06:08.070
- IN A NUMBER OF MURDERS BEFORE
- 00:06:08.070 --> 00:06:10.210
- THIS, BUT YOU HAD NOT
- 00:06:10.210 --> 00:06:11.080
- BEEN CAUGHT?
- 00:06:11.080 --> 00:06:12.120
- - CASEY: I HAD BEEN ALL OVER
- 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:13.050
- THE PLACE.
- 00:06:13.050 --> 00:06:14.190
- BY THIS TIME, I'VE STABBED MANY
- 00:06:14.190 --> 00:06:16.060
- OTHER RIVAL GANG MEMBERS, YES.
- 00:06:16.080 --> 00:06:19.080
- - ERIC: SO THEY TAKE YOU AT
- 00:06:19.080 --> 00:06:20.180
- THAT POINT AND-- WHAT?
- 00:06:20.180 --> 00:06:21.200
- THEY SEND YOU TO NEW
- 00:06:21.200 --> 00:06:22.090
- FOLSOM PRISON?
- 00:06:22.090 --> 00:06:23.140
- IS THAT WHERE YOU GO?
- 00:06:23.140 --> 00:06:24.070
- - CASEY: THEY ENDED UP SENDING
- 00:06:24.070 --> 00:06:25.050
- ME TO LOS ANGELES COUNTY JAIL,
- 00:06:25.050 --> 00:06:26.260
- MEN'S CENTRAL JAIL IN DOWNTOWN
- 00:06:26.260 --> 00:06:28.200
- LOS ANGELES, AND THEN, FROM
- 00:06:29.210 --> 00:06:32.210
- THERE, TO WHAT'S CALLED THE
- 00:06:32.210 --> 00:06:33.110
- "GANG MODULE."
- 00:06:33.110 --> 00:06:33.240
- AND IN THE GANG MODULE
- 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:34.220
- IS WHERE EVERY L.A.
- 00:06:34.220 --> 00:06:35.280
- GANG LEADER IS HOUSED.
- 00:06:35.280 --> 00:06:36.290
- WE'RE A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH FOR
- 00:06:36.290 --> 00:06:38.220
- MAINLINE OR REGULAR POPULATION,
- 00:06:39.160 --> 00:06:42.160
- SO THEY HOUSE US THERE, AND
- 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:44.220
- THEN, FROM THERE, I GET
- 00:06:44.220 --> 00:06:46.060
- TRANSFERRED TO WAYSIDE TO A UNIT
- 00:06:46.210 --> 00:06:49.210
- CALLED 2400, AND THIS IS WHERE
- 00:06:49.210 --> 00:06:50.140
- EVERYONE THAT'S IN THERE FOR
- 00:06:50.140 --> 00:06:51.240
- MURDERER IS HOUSED.
- 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:54.080
- SO I'M HOUSED THERE, AND THERE
- 00:06:54.080 --> 00:06:54.290
- IS WHERE I GET VALIDATED AS A
- 00:06:54.290 --> 00:06:57.130
- "SHOT CALLER" INSIDE--
- 00:06:57.130 --> 00:06:59.170
- - ERIC: OKAY, SO THE TITLE OF
- 00:06:59.170 --> 00:07:00.140
- YOUR BOOK IS "THE SHOT CALLER."
- 00:07:00.140 --> 00:07:01.160
- WHAT IS A "SHOT CALLER"?
- 00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:02.290
- - CASEY: IT'S SOMEONE WHO HAS
- 00:07:02.290 --> 00:07:04.230
- THE ABILITY TO PUSH A NAME IN A
- 00:07:06.010 --> 00:07:09.010
- PIECE OF PAPER AND HAVE YOU
- 00:07:09.140 --> 00:07:12.140
- KILLED UP TO THAT, JUST BY ME
- 00:07:12.140 --> 00:07:15.050
- SIGNING A DOCUMENT.
- 00:07:15.050 --> 00:07:17.260
- - ERIC: SO EVEN AT AGE 16, YOU
- 00:07:17.260 --> 00:07:18.290
- HAD THAT KIND OF POWER AND
- 00:07:18.290 --> 00:07:20.100
- AUTHORITY IN THE GANG WORLD?
- 00:07:20.100 --> 00:07:22.120
- - CASEY: YEAH, WELL, BY THIS
- 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:24.030
- TIME, I'M 18 YEARS OLD OR AROUND
- 00:07:24.030 --> 00:07:25.200
- THERE, AND ALREADY, YOU KNOW,
- 00:07:25.200 --> 00:07:26.210
- THROUGH THE TRIAL.
- 00:07:26.210 --> 00:07:28.120
- IT WAS AN EIGHT-MONTH TRIAL, AND
- 00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:29.270
- SO TIME HAS GONE BY, BUT, YEAH,
- 00:07:29.270 --> 00:07:32.250
- JUST THE MEASURE OF VIOLENCE
- 00:07:32.250 --> 00:07:34.210
- THAT CAME OUT OF ME, IT WAS A
- 00:07:34.210 --> 00:07:36.270
- LITTLE BIT OUT OF THE BOX, EVEN
- 00:07:36.270 --> 00:07:38.230
- FOR THAT KIND OF CULTURE.
- 00:07:38.230 --> 00:07:40.130
- I JUST DIDN'T HAVE ANY BREAKS.
- 00:07:40.130 --> 00:07:42.080
- IF ANYTHING NEEDED TO BE DONE, I
- 00:07:42.080 --> 00:07:44.100
- WOULD HAPPILY DO IT.
- 00:07:44.100 --> 00:07:47.010
- THERE WAS NO SECOND, YOU KNOW,
- 00:07:47.010 --> 00:07:48.100
- THOUGHT OR-- I JUST WENT AND DID
- 00:07:48.170 --> 00:07:51.170
- IT, AND IT WAS A NORMAL
- 00:07:51.170 --> 00:07:52.110
- THING FOR ME.
- 00:07:52.110 --> 00:07:53.230
- - ERIC: SO WHAT HAPPENS
- 00:07:53.230 --> 00:07:56.050
- AT THIS POINT?
- 00:07:56.050 --> 00:07:56.250
- - CASEY: SO I ENDED UP GETTING
- 00:07:56.250 --> 00:07:58.080
- SENT TO NEW FOLSOM STATE PRISON
- 00:07:58.080 --> 00:07:59.260
- TO DIRECTLY SERVE MY SENTENCE
- 00:07:59.260 --> 00:08:01.170
- AS IN THE SHU PROGRAM, IN
- 00:08:01.190 --> 00:08:04.190
- SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.
- 00:08:04.190 --> 00:08:05.140
- - ERIC: HOW LONG IS
- 00:08:05.140 --> 00:08:06.010
- THE SENTENCE?
- 00:08:06.010 --> 00:08:06.180
- - CASEY: TWELVE YEARS,
- 00:08:06.180 --> 00:08:07.100
- EIGHT MONTHS.
- 00:08:07.100 --> 00:08:08.010
- - ERIC: TWELVE YEARS
- 00:08:08.010 --> 00:08:08.220
- IN SOLITARY?
- 00:08:08.220 --> 00:08:09.190
- - CASEY: THAT'S WHAT I WAS
- 00:08:09.190 --> 00:08:10.170
- SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE FOR,
- 00:08:10.170 --> 00:08:11.080
- YEAH.
- 00:08:11.080 --> 00:08:12.110
- - CASEY: IT CHANGES WHEN A
- 00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:19.070
- LITTLE CHURCH COMES TO VISIT ONE
- 00:08:19.070 --> 00:08:21.070
- AND THIS LITTLE LADY BY THE NAME
- 00:08:25.020 --> 00:08:25.240
- OF FRANCES PROCTOR, LITTLE BLACK
- 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.210
- LADY, SHE IS THERE, AND THERE'S
- 00:08:27.210 --> 00:08:30.140
- A CONVERSATION HAPPENING RIGHT
- 00:08:30.140 --> 00:08:33.070
- OUTSIDE MY GATE, OR MY CELL, AND
- 00:08:33.070 --> 00:08:34.250
- THE CONVERSATION IS HER ASKING A
- 00:08:35.180 --> 00:08:38.180
- GUARD IF THERE'S AN INMATE
- 00:08:38.180 --> 00:08:41.070
- IN THAT CELL.
- 00:08:41.070 --> 00:08:42.020
- I HAD NO CLUE THAT SHE WAS
- 00:08:42.020 --> 00:08:44.180
- POINTING AT MY CELL, AND THE
- 00:08:44.180 --> 00:08:46.240
- GUARD ACTUALLY DISCOURAGES HER
- 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:49.080
- MULTIPLE TIMES TO "DON'T WASTE
- 00:08:49.080 --> 00:08:49.290
- YOUR TIME."
- 00:08:50.010 --> 00:08:53.010
- THOSE WORDS WERE SAID,
- 00:08:53.010 --> 00:08:53.180
- "DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME,"
- 00:08:53.180 --> 00:08:54.200
- AND SHE IS SO AMBITIOUS AND
- 00:08:55.230 --> 00:08:58.230
- COURAGEOUS AND BOLD, AND I
- 00:08:58.230 --> 00:08:59.170
- REMEMBER HER SAYING,
- 00:08:59.170 --> 00:09:01.250
- "JESUS CAME FOR EVERYONE,
- 00:09:01.250 --> 00:09:04.010
- INCLUDING HIM.
- 00:09:04.010 --> 00:09:05.250
- CAN I APPROACH HIS CELL?"
- 00:09:05.250 --> 00:09:06.140
- AND SHE DOES.
- 00:09:06.140 --> 00:09:08.080
- SHE'S GIVEN PERMISSION TO
- 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:10.200
- APPROACH MY GATE.
- 00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:12.170
- SHE COMES TO MY GATE, AND A
- 00:09:12.170 --> 00:09:13.070
- LITTLE CONVERSATION HAPPENS.
- 00:09:13.070 --> 00:09:15.260
- I DIDN'T WANT-- INITIALLY, I
- 00:09:15.260 --> 00:09:17.010
- WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH
- 00:09:17.010 --> 00:09:17.260
- HER OR HER RELIGION.
- 00:09:17.260 --> 00:09:20.090
- I NEVER WENT TO CHURCH.
- 00:09:20.090 --> 00:09:21.020
- I HAD NO BIBLICAL KNOWLEDGE.
- 00:09:21.150 --> 00:09:24.150
- DIDN'T CARE ABOUT GOD.
- 00:09:24.150 --> 00:09:25.110
- WASN'T LOOKING FOR GOD.
- 00:09:25.110 --> 00:09:26.200
- JESUS, TO ME, WAS-- I JUST--
- 00:09:26.200 --> 00:09:29.010
- THAT WAS-- I WAS IN DARKNESS OF
- 00:09:29.050 --> 00:09:32.050
- ANYTHING THAT HAD TO DO WITH
- 00:09:32.050 --> 00:09:33.140
- RELIGION IN THERE.
- 00:09:33.140 --> 00:09:34.210
- - ERIC: THAT'S KIND OF
- 00:09:34.210 --> 00:09:37.150
- AMAZING TO ME.
- 00:09:37.150 --> 00:09:38.160
- SO WHAT DOES SHE SAY TO YOU?
- 00:09:38.160 --> 00:09:39.100
- - CASEY: HER FIRST THING THAT
- 00:09:39.220 --> 00:09:42.220
- COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH AS SHE
- 00:09:42.220 --> 00:09:45.060
- COMES TO MY GATE, SHE SAYS, YOU
- 00:09:45.060 --> 00:09:46.050
- KNOW, "HOW ARE YOU DOING?"
- 00:09:46.050 --> 00:09:47.120
- AND I KIND OF, YOU KNOW, THOUGHT
- 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:49.050
- ABOUT THAT, AND I SAID,
- 00:09:49.050 --> 00:09:51.070
- "WELL, COULDN'T BE
- 00:09:51.070 --> 00:09:52.230
- DOING BETTER."
- 00:09:52.230 --> 00:09:53.120
- AND SHE LAUGHED.
- 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:54.250
- SHE SAID, "THAT WAS A DUMB
- 00:09:54.250 --> 00:09:55.170
- QUESTION."
- 00:09:55.170 --> 00:09:56.080
- I SAID, "IT'S ALL RIGHT."
- 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:57.280
- BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE DOES HER
- 00:09:57.280 --> 00:09:59.270
- LITTLE PRESENTATION, AND I
- 00:09:59.270 --> 00:10:00.270
- KIND OF SHAKE IT OFF, AND I
- 00:10:00.270 --> 00:10:03.150
- TELL HER TO-- YOU KNOW,
- 00:10:03.150 --> 00:10:04.230
- "I'M NOT INTERESTED."
- 00:10:04.230 --> 00:10:05.190
- BUT SHE SAYS THIS TO ME,
- 00:10:05.190 --> 00:10:07.070
- SHE SAYS, "I'M GONNA PUT
- 00:10:07.070 --> 00:10:08.250
- YOU IN MY 'HIT LIST,'"
- 00:10:08.250 --> 00:10:10.200
- WHICH WAS VERY COLORFUL
- 00:10:10.200 --> 00:10:11.250
- FOR HER TO SAY THAT
- 00:10:11.250 --> 00:10:12.260
- IN A PLACE LIKE THAT.
- 00:10:12.260 --> 00:10:13.280
- - ERIC: YEAH.
- 00:10:13.280 --> 00:10:14.260
- - CASEY: SHE SAID, "I'M GONNA
- 00:10:14.260 --> 00:10:16.040
- PUT YOU IN MY PRAYER HIT LIST,
- 00:10:16.040 --> 00:10:17.100
- AND JESUS IS GONNA USE YOU."
- 00:10:17.100 --> 00:10:18.210
- AND THERE WAS THIS BOLDNESS THAT
- 00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:20.130
- CAME OUT OF HER, AND I THOUGHT,
- 00:10:20.130 --> 00:10:21.110
- "THIS LADY IS NUTS.
- 00:10:21.110 --> 00:10:23.200
- SHE HAS NO CLUE OF WHAT SHE'S
- 00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:25.050
- DOING HERE OR WHO SHE'S
- 00:10:25.050 --> 00:10:26.240
- TALKING TO."
- 00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:29.090
- SO FOR A YEAR AND SIX MONTHS,
- 00:10:29.090 --> 00:10:30.260
- THIS LADY GOES INTO INTERCESSION
- 00:10:30.260 --> 00:10:33.100
- FOR MY LIFE.
- 00:10:33.100 --> 00:10:35.000
- - ERIC: SO, "INTERCESSION,"
- 00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:35.210
- SHE'S PRAYING FOR YOU FOR A YEAR
- 00:10:35.210 --> 00:10:37.100
- AND SIX MONTHS.
- 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:38.270
- DID SHE VISIT YOU AGAIN?
- 00:10:38.270 --> 00:10:39.290
- - CASEY: SO SHE ASKED ME IF SHE
- 00:10:39.290 --> 00:10:40.290
- COULD STOP AT MY GATE AND MY
- 00:10:40.290 --> 00:10:42.110
- CELL, YOU KNOW, TO SPEND TWO TO
- 00:10:42.110 --> 00:10:44.270
- FOUR MINUTES WITH ME,
- 00:10:44.270 --> 00:10:45.170
- PRAYING FOR ME.
- 00:10:45.170 --> 00:10:46.210
- AND I TOLD HER, I SAID, YOU
- 00:10:46.210 --> 00:10:48.040
- KNOW, "YOU CAN DO
- 00:10:48.040 --> 00:10:49.010
- WHATEVER YOU WANT.
- 00:10:49.010 --> 00:10:51.000
- I'M LETTING YOU KNOW I DON'T
- 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:51.200
- WANT NOTHIN' TO DO WITH YOUR
- 00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:52.110
- RELIGION OR WHATEVER YOU'RE
- 00:10:52.110 --> 00:10:53.010
- TRYIN' TO SELL ME HERE."
- 00:10:53.010 --> 00:10:53.290
- - ERIC: YEAH.
- 00:10:53.290 --> 00:10:54.170
- - CASEY: AND-- BUT SHE WAS--
- 00:10:54.170 --> 00:10:55.250
- SHE SAID, "I JUST WANNA STOP BY
- 00:10:55.250 --> 00:10:57.240
- AND JUST PRAY FOR YOU AND SEE
- 00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:58.150
- HOW YOU'RE DOIN'.
- 00:10:58.150 --> 00:10:59.160
- THAT'S ALL."
- 00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.070
- AND SO SHE WOULD.
- 00:11:01.070 --> 00:11:02.120
- SO ONCE A MONTH, SHE WOULD STOP
- 00:11:02.120 --> 00:11:04.140
- IN AND PRAY FOR ME AND, YOU
- 00:11:04.140 --> 00:11:06.210
- KNOW, A LITTLE CONVERSATION.
- 00:11:06.210 --> 00:11:08.000
- WE ONLY HAD ABOUT TWO TO
- 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:08.280
- FOUR MINUTES.
- 00:11:08.280 --> 00:11:10.060
- - ERIC: IS ANYTHING HAPPENING
- 00:11:10.060 --> 00:11:10.270
- TO YOU DURING THIS TIME?
- 00:11:10.270 --> 00:11:11.170
- - CASEY: NOTHING UNTIL I END UP
- 00:11:11.170 --> 00:11:13.220
- ENCOUNTERING CHRIST IN
- 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:14.270
- THERE ON MY OWN.
- 00:11:14.270 --> 00:11:16.160
- YOU KNOW, YOU LOSE
- 00:11:16.160 --> 00:11:18.000
- TRACK OF TIME.
- 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:19.160
- THERE IS NO WINDOWS.
- 00:11:19.160 --> 00:11:20.200
- - ERIC: THERE'S NO WINDOWS?
- 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:21.100
- - CASEY: THERE'S NO
- 00:11:21.100 --> 00:11:21.260
- WINDOWS AT ALL.
- 00:11:21.260 --> 00:11:23.000
- YEAH, THE CELL HAS NOTHING.
- 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:24.080
- YOU CAN'T SEE NOTHING.
- 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:26.120
- - ERIC: THIS IS HARD, SO HARD
- 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.210
- FOR MOST PEOPLE TO PROCESS.
- 00:11:28.210 --> 00:11:29.110
- I'M AMAZED.
- 00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:30.260
- WE'RE GONNA BE RIGHT BACK,
- 00:11:30.260 --> 00:11:31.150
- FOLKS.
- 00:11:31.150 --> 00:11:32.280
- WE HAVE JUST GOTTEN TO THAT
- 00:11:32.280 --> 00:11:34.130
- POINT IN THE STORY.
- 00:11:34.130 --> 00:11:35.050
- DON'T LEAVE.
- 00:11:35.050 --> 00:11:36.040
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- 00:11:36.040 --> 00:11:37.250
- [MUSIC]
- 00:11:46.060 --> 00:11:49.060
- [MUSIC]
- 00:11:49.060 --> 00:11:51.200
- - ERIC: HEY, FOLKS, IT'S
- 00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.110
- "THE ERIC METAXAS SHOW."
- 00:11:52.110 --> 00:11:52.290
- I'M TALKIN'
- 00:11:52.290 --> 00:11:53.160
- TO CASEY DIAZ.
- 00:11:53.160 --> 00:11:55.020
- "THE SHOT CALLER" IS THE TITLE
- 00:11:55.020 --> 00:11:56.090
- OF THE BOOK.
- 00:11:56.090 --> 00:11:58.090
- WE'RE JUST AT THAT POINT.
- 00:11:58.090 --> 00:11:59.050
- CASEY, YOU SAID NOW
- 00:11:59.050 --> 00:12:00.080
- YOU'RE IN SOLITARY.
- 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:00.270
- I MEAN, YOU DESCRIBED
- 00:12:00.270 --> 00:12:01.260
- SOLITARY TO ME.
- 00:12:01.260 --> 00:12:02.230
- THERE'S VERSIONS OF SOLITARY.
- 00:12:02.230 --> 00:12:05.210
- I MEAN, WHAT YOU JUST DESCRIBED
- 00:12:05.210 --> 00:12:06.130
- TO ME IS LIKE HELL.
- 00:12:06.130 --> 00:12:07.230
- I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE
- 00:12:07.230 --> 00:12:10.030
- THERE'S NO WINDOW.
- 00:12:10.030 --> 00:12:11.030
- THERE'S NOTHING.
- 00:12:11.030 --> 00:12:12.200
- YOU CAN'T LOOK AT A BOOK--
- 00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:13.130
- NOTHING.
- 00:12:13.130 --> 00:12:14.290
- AND YOU ARE EXTREMELY VIOLENT.
- 00:12:14.290 --> 00:12:15.200
- YOU'RE IN THIS SITUATION.
- 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:17.120
- AT WHAT POINT DOES YOUR LIFE
- 00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:19.070
- - CASEY: AT THIS PARTICULAR
- 00:12:22.020 --> 00:12:22.220
- MOMENT, I'M LAYING DOWN ON MY
- 00:12:22.220 --> 00:12:23.190
- BUNK, ON THIS METAL SLAB, ON
- 00:12:23.190 --> 00:12:26.100
- THIS CONCRETE SLAB, AND I'M
- 00:12:26.100 --> 00:12:27.240
- MY HANDS ARE BEHIND MY HEAD.
- 00:12:30.280 --> 00:12:31.180
- A NORMAL DAY IN SOLITARY, AND I
- 00:12:31.180 --> 00:12:33.250
- START TO SEE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A
- 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:37.080
- FILM ON MY WALL, AND BEFORE I
- 00:12:37.260 --> 00:12:40.260
- EVEN GO THERE, THE CELL NEXT TO
- 00:12:40.260 --> 00:12:42.220
- ME WAS OCCUPIED BY ANOTHER
- 00:12:42.220 --> 00:12:45.130
- INMATE OF A SIMILAR
- 00:12:45.130 --> 00:12:47.050
- GANG WITH ME.
- 00:12:47.050 --> 00:12:48.210
- HE HAD BEEN THERE FOR TEN YEARS
- 00:12:48.210 --> 00:12:51.040
- IN SOLITARY WHEN I GOT THERE,
- 00:12:51.040 --> 00:12:52.290
- AND HE ENDED UP LOSING HIS MIND
- 00:12:52.290 --> 00:12:54.060
- FROM ONE DAY TO THE OTHER AND
- 00:12:54.060 --> 00:12:55.270
- THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS ACTUAL
- 00:12:55.270 --> 00:12:58.040
- DUCKS IN HIS CELL.
- 00:12:58.040 --> 00:13:00.020
- HE COMPLETELY LOST IT.
- 00:13:00.020 --> 00:13:01.120
- - ERIC: THOUGHT THERE WERE
- 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:02.020
- DUCKS IN HIS CELL?
- 00:13:02.020 --> 00:13:03.100
- - CASEY: AND I ACTUALLY TALK
- 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:05.100
- ABOUT THAT IN THE BOOK, BUT SO
- 00:13:05.100 --> 00:13:08.100
- HERE I AM, AND THERE'S A MOVIE
- 00:13:08.100 --> 00:13:10.130
- BEING PLAYED ON MY WALL.
- 00:13:10.130 --> 00:13:12.120
- I SEE IT.
- 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:13.010
- I'M AWAKE.
- 00:13:13.010 --> 00:13:14.020
- I'M NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE
- 00:13:14.020 --> 00:13:15.150
- OF ANY KIND OF DRUG.
- 00:13:15.150 --> 00:13:16.210
- I'M ON MY FIVE, AND THIS FILM IS
- 00:13:16.210 --> 00:13:18.230
- SHOWING ME MY LIFE BEING PLAYED
- 00:13:18.230 --> 00:13:20.120
- BACK FROM WHEN I WAS SMALL, THE
- 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:23.030
- FIRST CANDY THAT I STOLE AT A
- 00:13:23.030 --> 00:13:26.010
- 7-ELEVEN, AND IT'S VERY--
- 00:13:26.010 --> 00:13:27.230
- IT'S AN ORDER.
- 00:13:27.230 --> 00:13:29.040
- ALL THE EVENTS ARE IN ORDER.
- 00:13:29.040 --> 00:13:30.120
- - ERIC: SO THIS IS NOT
- 00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:31.130
- IN YOUR MIND?
- 00:13:31.130 --> 00:13:32.020
- IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEING
- 00:13:32.020 --> 00:13:33.060
- PROJECTED ON YOUR WALL?
- 00:13:33.060 --> 00:13:33.280
- - CASEY: ON MY WALL, YEAH,
- 00:13:33.280 --> 00:13:34.220
- JUST LIKE THAT,
- 00:13:34.220 --> 00:13:36.010
- AND THEN IT WOULD STOP,
- 00:13:36.060 --> 00:13:39.060
- AND I WOULD SEE A GUY
- 00:13:39.060 --> 00:13:40.150
- CARRYING A CROSS, AND CROWDS
- 00:13:40.150 --> 00:13:43.040
- AROUND HIM, AND I KNEW THAT
- 00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:44.130
- WHOEVER'S CARRYING THIS CROSS,
- 00:13:44.130 --> 00:13:46.040
- NOBODY LIKED HIM, AND THE GUY
- 00:13:46.040 --> 00:13:48.040
- CARRYING THIS CROSS KEPT
- 00:13:48.040 --> 00:13:48.250
- LOOKING AT ME.
- 00:13:48.250 --> 00:13:51.040
- I CAN'T SEE HIS FACE, BUT I KNOW
- 00:13:51.040 --> 00:13:52.270
- THAT WHOEVER IS CARRYING THIS
- 00:13:52.270 --> 00:13:54.190
- CROSS IS LOOKING AT ME.
- 00:13:54.190 --> 00:13:56.160
- NO ONE HAD EVER EXPLAINED THE
- 00:13:56.160 --> 00:13:57.070
- BIBLE TO ME.
- 00:13:57.070 --> 00:13:58.030
- I NEVER HAD PICKED UP A BIBLE
- 00:13:58.030 --> 00:13:58.240
- BEFORE.
- 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:00.060
- NEVER WENT TO CHURCH.
- 00:14:00.060 --> 00:14:01.200
- DID NOT KNOW.
- 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.110
- I KNEW ZERO OF CHRISTIANITY.
- 00:14:03.110 --> 00:14:05.020
- SO THIS IS BEING PLAYED IN FRONT
- 00:14:05.020 --> 00:14:05.240
- OF ME, THEN IT WOULD STOP, AND
- 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:07.050
- IT WOULD GO INTO, YOU KNOW,
- 00:14:07.050 --> 00:14:08.280
- PEOPLE THAT I STABBED,
- 00:14:08.280 --> 00:14:09.270
- CARJACKINGS, HOME INVASIONS THAT
- 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:13.120
- I DID THAT I PARTOOK OF, ALL OF
- 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:15.060
- THAT, AND IT'S ALL IN ORDER, AND
- 00:14:15.060 --> 00:14:16.240
- THEN IT'LL BACK TO THAT SCENE OF
- 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.200
- THIS GUY CARRYING THIS CROSS.
- 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:19.180
- - ERIC: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
- 00:14:19.180 --> 00:14:20.150
- WHILE THIS IS HAPPENING?
- 00:14:20.150 --> 00:14:21.250
- - CASEY: I'M THINKING AT THE
- 00:14:21.250 --> 00:14:23.170
- VERY MOMENT-- AND I'M GLAD THAT
- 00:14:23.170 --> 00:14:24.120
- YOU ASKED THAT 'CAUSE, AT THAT
- 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:25.260
- VERY MOMENT, I'M THINKING, YOU
- 00:14:25.260 --> 00:14:27.090
- KNOW, PIGGY, RIGHT HERE NEXT TO
- 00:14:27.090 --> 00:14:29.250
- ME, THINKS HE'S GOT DUCKS IN HIS
- 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:31.220
- CELL, AND I'M WATCHING A MOVIE,
- 00:14:31.220 --> 00:14:33.050
- SO IT'S MY TURN.
- 00:14:33.050 --> 00:14:35.260
- I'M JUST WAITING FOR SOME
- 00:14:35.260 --> 00:14:36.160
- POPCORN-KIND-OF-THING, YOU KNOW?
- 00:14:36.160 --> 00:14:37.280
- 'CAUSE THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
- 00:14:37.280 --> 00:14:39.280
- AND THEN I SEE THE NAILS COMING
- 00:14:39.280 --> 00:14:42.010
- INTO HIS HANDS, HIS FEET, AND A
- 00:14:42.010 --> 00:14:43.030
- CROSS BEING RAISED, AND HERE'S
- 00:14:43.030 --> 00:14:45.010
- WHAT THAT MOMENT THAT REALLY
- 00:14:45.010 --> 00:14:47.230
- CHANGED MY HEART AND MY LIFE AT
- 00:14:47.230 --> 00:14:49.070
- THAT TIME IS THAT, YOU KNOW, MY
- 00:14:49.070 --> 00:14:51.100
- BIRTH NAME IS DARWIN.
- 00:14:51.160 --> 00:14:54.160
- "CASEY" IS A NICKNAME THAT I'VE
- 00:14:54.160 --> 00:14:56.160
- LIVED FOR SINCE CHILDHOOD, AND
- 00:14:56.160 --> 00:14:59.010
- WHEN THE GUY THAT'S CARRYING
- 00:14:59.010 --> 00:15:01.080
- THIS CROSS IS HANGING THERE, I
- 00:15:01.080 --> 00:15:04.030
- COULD HEAR-- I BELIEVE THAT GOD,
- 00:15:04.030 --> 00:15:06.100
- WHEN HE WANTS TO GET YOUR
- 00:15:06.100 --> 00:15:07.200
- ATTENTION, HE COMES EYE LEVEL TO
- 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:10.080
- THAT HUMAN BEING TO WHERE YOU
- 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:11.230
- COULD UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL IN
- 00:15:11.230 --> 00:15:13.060
- HOWEVER HE'S GONNA PRESENT THE
- 00:15:13.060 --> 00:15:14.050
- GOSPEL TO YOU, AND, FOR ME,
- 00:15:14.050 --> 00:15:15.270
- I KNEW MURDER.
- 00:15:15.270 --> 00:15:17.240
- I KNEW THE SOUNDS OF SOMEONE'S
- 00:15:17.240 --> 00:15:20.070
- LIFE BEING TAKEN OUT, AND I SEE
- 00:15:20.070 --> 00:15:23.060
- HIM, AND HE SAYS TO ME, "DARWIN,
- 00:15:23.060 --> 00:15:25.140
- I DID THIS FOR YOU."
- 00:15:25.140 --> 00:15:27.090
- AND I SEE HIS FACE
- 00:15:27.090 --> 00:15:28.140
- JUST, YOU KNOW, JUST
- 00:15:28.140 --> 00:15:30.260
- DROP, AND I CAN HEAR THE SOUND
- 00:15:30.260 --> 00:15:32.250
- OF HIS BREATH AUDIBLY IN THE
- 00:15:32.250 --> 00:15:34.180
- CELL, COMING OUT, AND THAT'S THE
- 00:15:34.180 --> 00:15:37.010
- MOMENT THAT I ACTUALLY GOT IN
- 00:15:37.010 --> 00:15:39.100
- THE CENTER OF MY CELL AND
- 00:15:39.100 --> 00:15:40.120
- STARTED TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.
- 00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:42.110
- NO ONE HAD EVER TOLD ME
- 00:15:42.110 --> 00:15:44.200
- HOW TO PRAY OR--
- 00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:45.250
- - ERIC: NOBODY TOLD YOU, YOU
- 00:15:45.250 --> 00:15:46.160
- NEED TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS?
- 00:15:46.160 --> 00:15:47.110
- - CASEY: NO.
- 00:15:47.110 --> 00:15:48.060
- - ERIC: YOU JUST SORT OF-- IT
- 00:15:48.060 --> 00:15:48.270
- JUST-- YOU KNEW?
- 00:15:48.270 --> 00:15:49.230
- - CASEY: IT JUST-- I KNEW IT IN
- 00:15:49.230 --> 00:15:51.150
- MY SPIRIT, UNDERSTANDING IT NOW.
- 00:15:51.150 --> 00:15:52.210
- IT JUST BEAR WITNESS IN MY
- 00:15:52.270 --> 00:15:55.270
- SPIRIT THAT THIS IS WHAT I
- 00:15:55.270 --> 00:15:56.250
- NEEDED TO DO.
- 00:15:56.250 --> 00:15:57.200
- AND SHORTLY AFTER THAT, THAT
- 00:15:57.200 --> 00:15:59.110
- MOMENT, I HEARD HIS VOICE AGAIN
- 00:15:59.150 --> 00:16:02.170
- AND, AGAIN, AUDIBLY, AND HE SAYS
- 00:16:02.170 --> 00:16:04.280
- TO ME, "GO KNOCK ON YOUR GATE,"
- 00:16:04.290 --> 00:16:07.290
- WHICH IS MY CELL DOOR, "AND ASK
- 00:16:07.290 --> 00:16:09.130
- FOR THE CHAPLAIN."
- 00:16:09.130 --> 00:16:10.290
- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A
- 00:16:10.290 --> 00:16:11.190
- "CHAPLAIN" WAS, AND
- 00:16:11.190 --> 00:16:12.140
- SO I JUST--
- 00:16:12.140 --> 00:16:14.000
- - ERIC: YOU HEAR THE VOICE OF
- 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.060
- GOD SAYING, "GO KNOCK ON THE
- 00:16:16.060 --> 00:16:17.200
- GATE, AND ASK FOR THE CHAPLAIN,"
- 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:18.120
- AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A
- 00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:19.010
- CHAPLAIN WAS?
- 00:16:19.010 --> 00:16:19.160
- - CASEY: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A
- 00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:20.120
- CHAPLAIN WAS, SO I WALKED OVER
- 00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:21.030
- TO MY GATE.
- 00:16:21.030 --> 00:16:22.230
- I KNOCK ON IT, AND, OF COURSE,
- 00:16:22.230 --> 00:16:24.250
- THERE'S A GUARD TWO CELLS DOWN,
- 00:16:24.250 --> 00:16:27.200
- WALKING, AND SO, BY THE TIME I
- 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:29.180
- GET UP TO GO KNOCK ON MY GATE,
- 00:16:29.180 --> 00:16:31.040
- HE'S THERE, AND I ASKED HIM, I
- 00:16:31.040 --> 00:16:33.090
- SAID, "I'M SUPPOSED TO ASK YOU
- 00:16:33.090 --> 00:16:35.070
- FOR A CHAPLAIN," IN WHICH HE
- 00:16:35.070 --> 00:16:36.130
- KIND OF LOOKED PUZZLED.
- 00:16:36.130 --> 00:16:38.200
- YOU KNOW, HE SAYS, "ARE YOU
- 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:40.050
- PULLING SOME--" YOU KNOW, HE
- 00:16:40.050 --> 00:16:41.280
- USED SOME COLORFUL LANGUAGE.
- 00:16:41.280 --> 00:16:43.110
- I SAID, "I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO
- 00:16:44.130 --> 00:16:47.130
- ASK YOU FOR THE CHAPLAIN."
- 00:16:47.130 --> 00:16:48.120
- AND HE SAID, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
- 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:49.060
- I SAID, "YEAH."
- 00:16:49.060 --> 00:16:49.230
- AND THE NEXT THING
- 00:16:49.230 --> 00:16:50.260
- I KNOW, LATER ON THAT WEEK,
- 00:16:50.260 --> 00:16:52.110
- I'M SITTING WITH THIS
- 00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:53.270
- CHAPLAIN, AND I EXPLAINED TO HIM
- 00:16:53.270 --> 00:16:55.190
- IN DETAIL EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED
- 00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:57.040
- IN THAT CELL.
- 00:16:57.040 --> 00:16:59.050
- - ERIC: DIDN'T THEY FEAR FOR
- 00:16:59.050 --> 00:16:59.260
- THE CHAPLAIN'S LIFE?
- 00:16:59.260 --> 00:17:00.170
- I MEAN, YOU'RE SO VIOLENT.
- 00:17:00.170 --> 00:17:01.220
- HOW DO YOU--
- 00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:02.170
- - CASEY: I'M IN RESTRAINTS.
- 00:17:02.170 --> 00:17:03.170
- - ERIC: YOU'RE IN RESTRAINTS.
- 00:17:03.170 --> 00:17:04.080
- - CASEY: I'M IN RESTRAINTS, AND
- 00:17:04.080 --> 00:17:05.060
- SO HE'S SITTING PROBABLY ABOUT
- 00:17:05.060 --> 00:17:07.270
- SAME DISTANCE THAT WE ARE RIGHT
- 00:17:07.270 --> 00:17:09.060
- NOW, AND I SHARE THE STORY OF
- 00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:11.020
- WHAT HAD JUST TAKEN PLACE A FEW
- 00:17:11.020 --> 00:17:13.230
- DAYS AGO, AND I NOTICED THAT HE
- 00:17:13.230 --> 00:17:15.230
- STARTS TO GET REALLY TEARY-EYED,
- 00:17:15.230 --> 00:17:17.180
- AND HIS BOTTOM LIP STARTS TO
- 00:17:17.180 --> 00:17:19.150
- SHAKE, AND HE'S OPENING UP HIS
- 00:17:19.150 --> 00:17:21.160
- BIBLE, AND HE STARTS TO READ THE
- 00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.000
- CRUCIFIXION, HIM WALKING
- 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:25.250
- TO GOLGOTHA, AND THE
- 00:17:25.250 --> 00:17:28.250
- WHOLE NINE YARDS, AND WHEN HE
- 00:17:28.250 --> 00:17:30.080
- STARTS TO READ THAT, WE
- 00:17:30.130 --> 00:17:33.130
- BOTH-- I MEAN, WE BOTH BROKE.
- 00:17:33.130 --> 00:17:34.250
- THERE WAS A LOT OF TEARS SHED
- 00:17:34.250 --> 00:17:37.240
- RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT BECAUSE I
- 00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:39.190
- KNEW THAT THAT'S I HAD SEEN, AND
- 00:17:39.190 --> 00:17:41.250
- THEN TO SEE IT IN A BOOK, IN THE
- 00:17:41.250 --> 00:17:44.190
- BIBLE, AND, I MEAN, NOBODY HAD
- 00:17:44.190 --> 00:17:46.260
- EVER TOLD ME THAT.
- 00:17:46.260 --> 00:17:47.180
- YOU KNOW, FRANCES PROCTOR WAS
- 00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:49.100
- JUST COMING IN THERE WITH JUST,
- 00:17:49.100 --> 00:17:51.030
- YOU KNOW, ENCOURAGEMENT,
- 00:17:51.030 --> 00:17:52.150
- "I'M PRAYING FOR YOU."
- 00:17:52.150 --> 00:17:54.060
- - ERIC: YOU MEAN, THIS LITTLE
- 00:17:54.060 --> 00:17:54.270
- BLACK WOMAN, ONCE A MONTH, FOR A
- 00:17:54.270 --> 00:17:56.050
- FEW MINUTES, SHE DIDN'T
- 00:17:56.050 --> 00:17:57.060
- GET TO SHARE--
- 00:17:57.060 --> 00:17:58.130
- - CASEY: SHE DIDN'T GET TO
- 00:17:58.130 --> 00:17:59.030
- REALLY TELL ME--
- 00:17:59.030 --> 00:18:00.240
- - ERIC: THIS KIND OF STUFF?
- 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:01.140
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:18:01.140 --> 00:18:02.080
- - ERIC: SO THIS IS THE FIRST
- 00:18:02.080 --> 00:18:02.290
- YOU'RE HEARING IT, AND YOU
- 00:18:02.290 --> 00:18:03.180
- SUDDENLY REALIZE IT'S REAL,
- 00:18:03.180 --> 00:18:04.100
- IT'S THE BIBLE?
- 00:18:04.100 --> 00:18:05.060
- - CASEY: IT'S REAL.
- 00:18:05.060 --> 00:18:05.220
- IT'S THE BIBLE.
- 00:18:05.220 --> 00:18:06.070
- IT'S THERE, YOU KNOW?
- 00:18:06.070 --> 00:18:07.060
- SO HE EXPLAINS THAT TO ME,
- 00:18:07.060 --> 00:18:09.170
- AND I'M GIVEN PERMISSION TO TAKE
- 00:18:09.170 --> 00:18:11.140
- BACK A BIBLE THAT HE GIVES ME.
- 00:18:11.140 --> 00:18:13.180
- IT WAS A LITTLE GIDEON BIBLE,
- 00:18:13.180 --> 00:18:14.270
- AND SO IF I'M AWAKE IN THAT
- 00:18:14.270 --> 00:18:17.200
- CELL, I'M READING IT.
- 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:19.190
- I'D READ IT AND READ IT
- 00:18:19.190 --> 00:18:22.120
- AND READ IT.
- 00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:23.290
- - ERIC: YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE
- 00:18:23.290 --> 00:18:24.210
- THREE YEARS UP TO THIS POINT,
- 00:18:24.210 --> 00:18:25.120
- YOU SAID?
- 00:18:25.120 --> 00:18:25.290
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:18:25.290 --> 00:18:26.130
- - CASEY: SO HERE COMES THIS
- 00:18:29.220 --> 00:18:30.120
- VOICE AGAIN.
- 00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:31.200
- - ERIC: REALLY?
- 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:32.080
- - CASEY: AND THIS VOICE AGAIN,
- 00:18:32.080 --> 00:18:33.000
- AND IT'S GOD'S VOICE,
- 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:34.040
- AND THIS VOICE OF GOD IS AUDIBLY
- 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:39.010
- AGAIN, AND HE SAYS, "WHEN YOU
- 00:18:39.010 --> 00:18:41.090
- GET OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE GONNA
- 00:18:41.090 --> 00:18:43.120
- GRAB YOUR 'HOMEBOYS,' OR YOUR
- 00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:46.220
- GANG LEADERS, AND YOU'RE GONNA
- 00:18:46.220 --> 00:18:48.050
- LET 'EM KNOW THAT YOU WANT
- 00:18:48.050 --> 00:18:50.080
- NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ANYMORE,
- 00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:52.080
- THAT YOU'RE NOW A CHRISTIAN."
- 00:18:52.080 --> 00:18:53.010
- I WAS TOLD BY THE
- 00:18:53.010 --> 00:18:54.160
- GANG COORDINATOR AND
- 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:55.040
- THE WARDEN THAT I WOULD
- 00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:56.170
- SPEND MY ENTIRE SENTENCE IN
- 00:18:56.170 --> 00:18:58.210
- SOLITARY, THAT I WOULD PAROLE
- 00:18:58.210 --> 00:19:00.110
- FROM THERE, SO I THOUGHT, "OKAY,
- 00:19:00.110 --> 00:19:02.110
- WELL, WHEN I PAROLE, THIS IS
- 00:19:02.110 --> 00:19:03.270
- WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO."
- 00:19:03.270 --> 00:19:04.240
- TO MY SURPRISE,
- 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.290
- HERE COMES THE WARDEN
- 00:19:05.290 --> 00:19:08.010
- AND THE GANG COORDINATOR, ALONG
- 00:19:08.010 --> 00:19:09.070
- WITH OTHER GUARDS, AND THEY'RE
- 00:19:09.070 --> 00:19:11.030
- GONNA PUT ME INTO MAINLINE, INTO
- 00:19:11.030 --> 00:19:13.180
- REGULAR POPULATION.
- 00:19:13.180 --> 00:19:15.220
- - ERIC: WHICH IS A HUGE
- 00:19:15.220 --> 00:19:16.140
- STEP AT THIS POINT.
- 00:19:16.140 --> 00:19:17.050
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:19:17.050 --> 00:19:17.210
- - ERIC: WOW, AND DO
- 00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:18.290
- YOU KNOW WHY?
- 00:19:18.290 --> 00:19:20.110
- - CASEY: I DON'T KNOW WHY.
- 00:19:20.110 --> 00:19:21.190
- TO THIS DAY, I DON'T KNOW WHY.
- 00:19:21.190 --> 00:19:22.180
- - ERIC: TO THIS DAY, YOU
- 00:19:22.180 --> 00:19:23.070
- DON'T KNOW WHY?
- 00:19:23.070 --> 00:19:23.210
- - CASEY: I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT
- 00:19:23.210 --> 00:19:24.270
- I KNOW THAT IT WAS
- 00:19:24.270 --> 00:19:25.120
- ORDAINED BY GOD.
- 00:19:25.120 --> 00:19:27.070
- I GO OUT TO THE YARD, AND I
- 00:19:27.070 --> 00:19:28.270
- STAND ON THIS CONCRETE PICNIC
- 00:19:28.270 --> 00:19:30.270
- BENCH IN THE YARD.
- 00:19:30.270 --> 00:19:32.260
- THERE'S SEVERAL GANG LEADERS
- 00:19:32.260 --> 00:19:35.120
- THERE WITH ME, AND I TELL THEM,
- 00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:37.070
- WORD FOR WORD, WHAT I HAD HEARD,
- 00:19:37.070 --> 00:19:39.030
- THAT I DIDN'T WANT ANY PART OF
- 00:19:39.030 --> 00:19:41.100
- THIS ANYMORE AND THAT I WAS A
- 00:19:41.100 --> 00:19:42.240
- CHRISTIAN, AND IMMEDIATELY,
- 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:44.250
- THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO
- 00:19:44.250 --> 00:19:46.030
- WORDS EXCHANGED.
- 00:19:46.030 --> 00:19:47.140
- THEY SIMPLY TURNED AROUND AND
- 00:19:47.140 --> 00:19:49.000
- WALKED AWAY, WHICH I KNEW
- 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:50.040
- WHAT THAT MEANT.
- 00:19:50.040 --> 00:19:51.180
- - ERIC: IT MEANS,
- 00:19:51.180 --> 00:19:52.140
- "YOU'RE DEAD"?
- 00:19:52.140 --> 00:19:52.270
- - CASEY: YEAH 'CAUSE--
- 00:19:52.270 --> 00:19:53.260
- - ERIC: REALLY?
- 00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:54.180
- - CASEY: -- YOU DON'T STEP DOWN
- 00:19:54.180 --> 00:19:55.100
- FROM THAT KIND OF STATUS AND
- 00:19:55.100 --> 00:19:57.010
- NOTHING HAPPEN TO YOU, SO A HIT
- 00:19:57.260 --> 00:20:00.260
- WAS PLACED ON MY LIFE FROM
- 00:20:00.260 --> 00:20:01.220
- THAT MOMENT ON.
- 00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:02.170
- - ERIC: NOW, DID YOU KNOW THAT
- 00:20:02.170 --> 00:20:03.090
- WOULD HAPPEN BEFORE YOU
- 00:20:03.090 --> 00:20:04.010
- SAID THIS?
- 00:20:04.010 --> 00:20:04.190
- - CASEY: I KNEW THAT, YEAH.
- 00:20:04.190 --> 00:20:05.260
- - ERIC: YOU KNEW IT.
- 00:20:05.260 --> 00:20:06.130
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:20:06.130 --> 00:20:06.270
- - ERIC: SO WHAT GAVE YOU THE
- 00:20:06.270 --> 00:20:07.180
- COURAGE TO GET UP THERE
- 00:20:07.180 --> 00:20:08.120
- AND DO THAT?
- 00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:09.040
- - CASEY: YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN
- 00:20:09.040 --> 00:20:10.230
- LOOK AT IT AS COURAGE.
- 00:20:10.230 --> 00:20:11.230
- I JUST FOLLOWED INSTRUCTIONS.
- 00:20:11.230 --> 00:20:12.210
- THAT'S HOW I SEE IT.
- 00:20:13.150 --> 00:20:16.150
- YOU HEAR GOD'S VOICE,
- 00:20:16.150 --> 00:20:17.280
- AND YOU JUST DO IT.
- 00:20:17.280 --> 00:20:19.270
- - ERIC: BECAUSE YOU KNOW
- 00:20:19.270 --> 00:20:20.160
- IT'S GOD'S VOICE?
- 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:21.040
- - CASEY: BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S
- 00:20:21.040 --> 00:20:22.000
- GOD'S VOICE, AND I WASN'T
- 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:23.150
- THINKING, YOU KNOW, THE
- 00:20:23.150 --> 00:20:25.160
- CONSEQUENCES OR ANYTHING
- 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:26.080
- LIKE THAT.
- 00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:27.170
- I JUST KNEW I HAD TO DO IT, SO I
- 00:20:27.170 --> 00:20:29.030
- DID, AND USUALLY HITS ARE DONE
- 00:20:29.030 --> 00:20:30.210
- IN THE MORNING WHEN THE CELL
- 00:20:30.210 --> 00:20:32.240
- RACKS OPEN, SO THAT WAS A LONG
- 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:35.120
- NIGHT, AND I KNEW THAT THEY
- 00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:37.010
- WANTED TO GET RID OF-- THERE'S A
- 00:20:37.010 --> 00:20:38.110
- WORD THAT WE CALL IN THERE: IT'S
- 00:20:38.110 --> 00:20:39.040
- CALLED "TAKING OUT THE TRASH."
- 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:40.250
- THAT MEANS WHEN SOMEBODY GOES
- 00:20:40.250 --> 00:20:42.230
- BAD OR SOMEBODY TURNS, YOU TAKE
- 00:20:42.230 --> 00:20:44.060
- OUT THE TRASH.
- 00:20:44.060 --> 00:20:45.050
- THEY SEND SOMEBODY TO TAKE OUT
- 00:20:45.050 --> 00:20:46.030
- THE TRASH, SO I'M THE TRASH AT
- 00:20:46.030 --> 00:20:47.130
- THIS POINT, SO THEY SEND
- 00:20:47.130 --> 00:20:49.090
- ONE THEM, MY VERY OWN,
- 00:20:49.090 --> 00:20:50.140
- TO DO THE DEED.
- 00:20:50.140 --> 00:20:51.290
- IT WAS A LONG NIGHT.
- 00:20:51.290 --> 00:20:53.010
- I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND
- 00:20:53.010 --> 00:20:54.090
- TELL YOU THAT.
- 00:20:54.090 --> 00:20:54.280
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA GET
- 00:20:54.280 --> 00:20:56.030
- STABBED TO DEATH.
- 00:20:56.030 --> 00:20:57.030
- YOU KNOW THAT.
- 00:20:57.030 --> 00:20:58.150
- SO I PRAYED.
- 00:20:58.150 --> 00:21:01.170
- I REMEMBER I HAD TOLD GOD THAT I
- 00:21:01.170 --> 00:21:02.250
- WOULDN'T PUT MY HANDS ON ANYBODY
- 00:21:02.250 --> 00:21:05.090
- ANYMORE AND THAT I WAS JUST
- 00:21:05.090 --> 00:21:07.040
- GONNA-- IN MY HEART, I HAD
- 00:21:07.040 --> 00:21:08.230
- DECIDED NOT TO EVEN LOOK AT THEM
- 00:21:08.230 --> 00:21:11.140
- SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T FEEL
- 00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:13.190
- GUILTY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
- 00:21:13.190 --> 00:21:14.110
- I JUST WANTED TO GET IT OVER
- 00:21:14.110 --> 00:21:15.140
- WITH AND DONE WITH, SO I PRAYED
- 00:21:15.140 --> 00:21:16.220
- THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT.
- 00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:18.200
- I REMEMBER, IN THE MORNING, I
- 00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:20.170
- HAD MY BIBLE, AND I HAD
- 00:21:20.170 --> 00:21:21.240
- IT ON MY SIDE.
- 00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:24.220
- I SAT IN THE CORNER OF THE BED
- 00:21:24.220 --> 00:21:25.130
- OF MY BUNK, AND HERE THEY COME.
- 00:21:25.130 --> 00:21:28.030
- I THOUGHT THE FIRST GUY THAT
- 00:21:28.030 --> 00:21:31.000
- CAME IN, I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,
- 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:33.040
- THERE'S GOTTA BE MORE PEOPLE
- 00:21:33.040 --> 00:21:34.100
- COMING IN THERE WITH HIM, AND I
- 00:21:34.100 --> 00:21:35.230
- REMEMBER HIM TELLING ME,
- 00:21:35.230 --> 00:21:37.200
- "I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT."
- 00:21:37.230 --> 00:21:40.230
- AND I'M THINKING,
- 00:21:40.230 --> 00:21:42.090
- "THIS IS IT," YOU KNOW,
- 00:21:42.090 --> 00:21:43.120
- "HERE WE GO."
- 00:21:43.120 --> 00:21:44.270
- - ERIC: SO YOU CAN
- 00:21:44.270 --> 00:21:45.130
- SEE THE SHANK?
- 00:21:45.130 --> 00:21:46.100
- - CASEY: OH, YEAH, I CAN SEE
- 00:21:46.100 --> 00:21:47.010
- IT, YEAH, AND I'M
- 00:21:47.010 --> 00:21:47.240
- FACING MY WALL.
- 00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:48.080
- - ERIC: HE SAYS TO YOU,
- 00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:49.010
- "I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT"?
- 00:21:49.010 --> 00:21:50.040
- - CASEY: YEAH, AND HE SAYS TO
- 00:21:50.040 --> 00:21:51.110
- ME, "BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THIS."
- 00:21:51.150 --> 00:21:54.150
- - ERIC: "BECAUSE I
- 00:21:54.150 --> 00:21:55.010
- CAN'T DO THIS"?
- 00:21:55.010 --> 00:21:55.160
- HE SAYS THIS TO YOU?
- 00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:56.250
- - CASEY: "I CAN'T DO THIS,"
- 00:21:56.250 --> 00:21:57.150
- YEAH, AND HE BECOMES THE FIRST
- 00:21:57.150 --> 00:21:58.210
- GUY THAT I LEAD TO THE LORD.
- 00:21:58.210 --> 00:22:00.170
- - ERIC: YOU KNEW THIS GUY?
- 00:22:01.060 --> 00:22:04.060
- HE WAS-- WAS HE PART
- 00:22:04.060 --> 00:22:05.130
- OF YOUR GANG?
- 00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:05.290
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:22:05.290 --> 00:22:08.120
- - ERIC: HE COMES IN THERE TO
- 00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.170
- KILL YOU, AND HE SAYS,
- 00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:11.160
- "I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT BECAUSE
- 00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:12.110
- I CAN'T DO THIS"?
- 00:22:12.110 --> 00:22:13.180
- WHAT HAPPENS?
- 00:22:13.180 --> 00:22:16.020
- - CASEY: I LEAD HIM TO THE
- 00:22:16.020 --> 00:22:17.250
- LORD AND--
- 00:22:17.250 --> 00:22:19.000
- - ERIC: RIGHT THERE?
- 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:19.170
- - CASEY: YEAH.
- 00:22:19.170 --> 00:22:20.290
- - ERIC: NOW, I WOULD THINK
- 00:22:20.290 --> 00:22:22.000
- THAT, IN THE PRISON WORLD,
- 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:23.150
- THEY'RE GONNA PUT A HIT OUT ON
- 00:22:23.150 --> 00:22:24.150
- HIS LIFE, AND THEY'RE GONNA PUT
- 00:22:24.150 --> 00:22:25.130
- SOMEBODY ELSE TO KILL YOU.
- 00:22:25.130 --> 00:22:26.120
- SO I MEAN, WHAT
- 00:22:26.120 --> 00:22:26.270
- HAPPENS THAT DAY?
- 00:22:26.270 --> 00:22:27.250
- - CASEY: WELL, FOR SEVERAL
- 00:22:31.110 --> 00:22:32.010
- YEARS, TWO YEARS, ACTUALLY,
- 00:22:32.010 --> 00:22:32.210
- THERE'S THESE LITTLE NOTES THAT
- 00:22:32.210 --> 00:22:35.150
- WE USED TO WRITE WHEN WE
- 00:22:35.150 --> 00:22:37.090
- WOULD PUT A HIT OR WE NEEDED
- 00:22:37.090 --> 00:22:39.010
- SOMETHING TO BE MOVED FROM ONE
- 00:22:39.010 --> 00:22:40.080
- THEY WERE CALLED "KITES," AND SO
- 00:22:43.010 --> 00:22:44.020
- I STARTED TO USE THAT SYSTEM TO
- 00:22:44.020 --> 00:22:46.060
- WITNESS TO OTHER GANG LEADERS IN
- 00:22:46.060 --> 00:22:48.100
- THERE, AND SHORTLY AFTER THAT,
- 00:22:48.100 --> 00:22:49.250
- ONE OF THE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF
- 00:22:49.250 --> 00:22:52.000
- MS-13 CAME TO CHRIST THROUGH ONE
- 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.090
- OF THOSE KITES, AND THEN ANOTHER
- 00:22:54.090 --> 00:22:56.280
- GANG LEADER FROM A GANG IN
- 00:22:56.280 --> 00:22:59.040
- SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES
- 00:22:59.040 --> 00:23:00.050
- CAME TO CHRIST.
- 00:23:00.050 --> 00:23:02.020
- SO THERE WAS ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE
- 00:23:02.020 --> 00:23:03.070
- OF US THAT STARTED TO REALLY
- 00:23:03.070 --> 00:23:05.160
- WITNESS OUT THERE, AND WE WERE
- 00:23:05.160 --> 00:23:06.220
- GOING THROUGH THE RINGER FOR TWO
- 00:23:06.220 --> 00:23:08.260
- YEARS, BUT AFTER THOSE TWO
- 00:23:08.260 --> 00:23:10.210
- YEARS, OVER 200 INMATES AT NEW
- 00:23:10.210 --> 00:23:13.020
- FOLSOM STATE PRISON CAME TO
- 00:23:13.020 --> 00:23:14.140
- CHRIST, AND THERE WAS A BIG
- 00:23:14.140 --> 00:23:16.030
- CELEBRATION THAT TOOK PLACE
- 00:23:16.030 --> 00:23:18.200
- IN THAT PRISON.
- 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:21.140
- - ERIC: THIS IS JUST AMAZING.
- 00:23:21.140 --> 00:23:23.030
- I'M AMAZED I HAVE NOT HEARD THIS
- 00:23:23.030 --> 00:23:24.000
- STORY 'CAUSE THIS IS LIKE-- TO
- 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:25.140
- ME, THIS IS NATIONAL NEWS.
- 00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:27.120
- LET ME ASK YOU, YOU TALKED ABOUT
- 00:23:27.120 --> 00:23:29.220
- HARD CANDY, WHATEVER.
- 00:23:29.220 --> 00:23:31.180
- WHAT WAS-- WHAT HAPPENED?
- 00:23:31.180 --> 00:23:33.210
- YOU SAID THAT THERE'S A--
- 00:23:33.210 --> 00:23:34.210
- - CASEY: WELL, WE WOULD GET
- 00:23:34.210 --> 00:23:36.160
- JUMPED, YOU KNOW, WALKING TO
- 00:23:36.250 --> 00:23:39.250
- WHATEVER, AN APPOINTMENT OR ON
- 00:23:39.250 --> 00:23:41.170
- THE YARD OR TO CHOW, AND THE
- 00:23:41.170 --> 00:23:44.100
- NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THERE'S 20,
- 00:23:44.100 --> 00:23:46.250
- 40 INMATES ON TOP OF YOU,
- 00:23:46.250 --> 00:23:49.000
- BEATING YOU, OR THEY'LL WALK
- 00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:51.040
- INTO YOUR CELL AND DO THAT.
- 00:23:51.040 --> 00:23:52.100
- - ERIC: AND WHEN DID THIS
- 00:23:52.100 --> 00:23:52.290
- HAPPEN TO YOU?
- 00:23:52.290 --> 00:23:53.220
- - CASEY: OH, A COUNTLESS AMOUNT
- 00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:55.000
- OF TIMES THROUGHOUT THOSE TWO
- 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:56.120
- YEARS, AND IT'S BY GOD'S GRACE
- 00:23:56.120 --> 00:23:58.040
- THAT EVER MADE IT OUT FOR PAROLE
- 00:23:58.040 --> 00:23:58.270
- AND MADE IT OUT HERE.
- 00:23:58.270 --> 00:24:01.150
- - ERIC: HOW DO YOU COME UP FOR
- 00:24:01.150 --> 00:24:03.090
- PAROLE AT THIS POINT?
- 00:24:03.090 --> 00:24:04.210
- - CASEY: CAME UP FOR PAROLE ON
- 00:24:04.210 --> 00:24:06.040
- THIS PARTICULAR MORNING.
- 00:24:06.040 --> 00:24:07.130
- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT-- YOU KNOW,
- 00:24:07.130 --> 00:24:09.100
- IT WAS JUST, TO ME, IT WAS JUST
- 00:24:09.100 --> 00:24:10.270
- ANOTHER PAROLE DATE.
- 00:24:10.270 --> 00:24:12.130
- YOU KNOW, YOU GO EVERY YEAR.
- 00:24:12.130 --> 00:24:13.090
- SOME OF US GO EVERY THREE YEARS,
- 00:24:13.090 --> 00:24:15.150
- SOME OF US EVERY SEVEN YEARS,
- 00:24:15.150 --> 00:24:17.150
- SO, TO ME, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T--
- 00:24:17.150 --> 00:24:19.260
- I HAD NO EXPECTATIONS OF GETTING
- 00:24:19.260 --> 00:24:21.050
- OUT ANYTIME SOON, BUT AT THE
- 00:24:21.050 --> 00:24:22.130
- MOMENT THAT I GOT PAROLED, IT
- 00:24:22.130 --> 00:24:25.120
- WAS A SURE SURPRISE.
- 00:24:25.120 --> 00:24:28.030
- IN FACT, ONE OF THE QUESTIONS
- 00:24:28.030 --> 00:24:30.040
- THAT ONE OF THE MEMBERS SAID
- 00:24:30.040 --> 00:24:32.050
- WAS, YOU KNOW, "WHY SHOULD WE
- 00:24:32.050 --> 00:24:33.140
- LET YOU OUT?"
- 00:24:33.140 --> 00:24:34.260
- AND MY RESPONSE WAS,
- 00:24:34.260 --> 00:24:35.290
- "YOU SHOULDN'T.
- 00:24:35.290 --> 00:24:37.290
- I DESERVE EVERY MINUTE THAT I
- 00:24:37.290 --> 00:24:39.290
- HAVE IN HERE ORDERED
- 00:24:39.290 --> 00:24:41.080
- BY THE COURT.
- 00:24:41.080 --> 00:24:42.060
- IN FACT, I THINK THAT I
- 00:24:42.060 --> 00:24:43.250
- SHOULD'VE BEEN DEALT A STRONGER,
- 00:24:44.100 --> 00:24:47.100
- AND A BIGGER SENTENCE SHOULD'VE
- 00:24:47.280 --> 00:24:50.280
- BEEN GIVEN TO ME, SO I DON'T
- 00:24:50.280 --> 00:24:52.110
- DESERVE FREEDOM AT ALL, AND I'M
- 00:24:52.110 --> 00:24:54.170
- OKAY WITH THAT."
- 00:24:54.170 --> 00:24:56.260
- AND THAT IS THE MOMENT
- 00:24:56.260 --> 00:24:59.080
- THAT I WAS GRANTED PAROLE.
- 00:25:00.100 --> 00:25:03.100
- - ERIC: DID THEY KNOW
- 00:25:03.100 --> 00:25:04.190
- YOUR STORY?
- 00:25:04.190 --> 00:25:06.120
- I GUESS THEY HAD BEEN WATCHING
- 00:25:06.120 --> 00:25:07.040
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- 00:25:07.040 --> 00:25:07.270
- - CASEY: THEY HAD WATCHED.
- 00:25:07.270 --> 00:25:08.200
- THEY HAD SEEN-- YOU KNOW, PRISON
- 00:25:08.200 --> 00:25:10.060
- GUARDS HAD SEEN THERE WAS RIOTS
- 00:25:10.060 --> 00:25:11.210
- THAT HAPPENED.
- 00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:13.030
- I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY STORIES
- 00:25:13.030 --> 00:25:13.280
- THAT I SHARE IN THERE--
- 00:25:13.280 --> 00:25:16.040
- - ERIC: THERE IN THE BOOK?
- 00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:16.240
- - CASEY: YEAH, THAT GOD JUST--
- 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:17.180
- HIS SUPERNATURAL HAND UPON MY
- 00:25:17.180 --> 00:25:20.010
- LIFE, IT WAS JUST ONE MIRACLE
- 00:25:20.010 --> 00:25:21.150
- AFTER THE OTHER.
- 00:25:21.150 --> 00:25:24.020
- - ERIC: SO YOU GET OUT,
- 00:25:24.020 --> 00:25:25.100
- AND NOW WHAT?
- 00:25:25.100 --> 00:25:26.200
- YOU GET OUT TO WHAT?
- 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:27.100
- - CASEY: I GET OUT TO NOTHING
- 00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:30.090
- BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING.
- 00:25:30.090 --> 00:25:30.270
- SO I MOVED OUT TO A LITTLE TOWN
- 00:25:30.270 --> 00:25:32.060
- IN CALIFORNIA, WHERE I DIDN'T
- 00:25:32.140 --> 00:25:35.140
- I LOOKED OUT FOR A CHURCH.
- 00:25:39.280 --> 00:25:40.220
- I SOUGHT A CHURCH.
- 00:25:40.220 --> 00:25:42.240
- I FINALLY FOUND ONE AND GOT
- 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:45.150
- PLUGGED IN.
- 00:25:45.150 --> 00:25:46.150
- FRANCES PROCTOR WAS
- 00:25:46.150 --> 00:25:48.040
- STILL WITH ME.
- 00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:49.260
- - ERIC: SEE, THAT'S AMAZING.
- 00:25:49.260 --> 00:25:50.170
- THIS WOMAN IS THE HERO.
- 00:25:50.170 --> 00:25:51.150
- IT WAS HER PRAYERS.
- 00:25:51.150 --> 00:25:53.050
- I MEAN, IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
- 00:25:53.050 --> 00:25:53.240
- LIKE, THAT'S THE
- 00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:54.260
- POWER OF PRAYER.
- 00:25:54.260 --> 00:25:55.150
- THAT'S AN ENCOURAGEMENT
- 00:25:55.150 --> 00:25:56.240
- TO ME, WOW.
- 00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:58.100
- SO YOU STAYED IN TOUCH WITH HER?
- 00:25:58.100 --> 00:26:00.100
- - CASEY: YEAH, AND, IN FACT,
- 00:26:00.100 --> 00:26:02.110
- THAT WHOLE PRISON MINISTRY THAT
- 00:26:02.110 --> 00:26:03.250
- WOULD GO THERE WAS AT MY WEDDING
- 00:26:03.250 --> 00:26:06.100
- WHEN I GOT MARRIED.
- 00:26:06.100 --> 00:26:08.160
- THEY WERE ALL INVITED, AND WE'VE
- 00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.180
- JUST FINISHED CELEBRATING OUR
- 00:26:09.180 --> 00:26:10.180
- 20TH-YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND
- 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:12.160
- THREE KIDS LATER.
- 00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:15.110
- - ERIC: THREE KIDS LATER?
- 00:26:15.110 --> 00:26:16.160
- - CASEY: YEAH, I HAVE TWO
- 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:17.170
- DAUGHTERS AND ONE SON.
- 00:26:17.170 --> 00:26:18.150
- - ERIC: YEAH, YOUR LIFE REALLY
- 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:19.280
- COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT.
- 00:26:19.280 --> 00:26:20.200
- WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
- 00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:21.280
- ALL THIS TIME NOW?
- 00:26:21.280 --> 00:26:23.100
- IT'S BEEN OVER 20 YEARS
- 00:26:23.100 --> 00:26:24.020
- SINCE YOU GOT OUT.
- 00:26:24.020 --> 00:26:25.020
- - CASEY: I'VE BEEN PASTORING,
- 00:26:25.030 --> 00:26:28.030
- FOR THE MOST PART.
- 00:26:28.030 --> 00:26:28.260
- I STARTED IN YOUTH, AS A YOUTH
- 00:26:28.260 --> 00:26:30.290
- PASTOR, THEN AS A YOUNG-ADULTS
- 00:26:30.290 --> 00:26:33.060
- PASTOR, AND THEN I PLANTED A
- 00:26:33.060 --> 00:26:35.060
- CHURCH, AND THEN I MERGED THAT
- 00:26:35.060 --> 00:26:36.290
- CHURCH WITH A FOURSQUARE CHURCH
- 00:26:36.290 --> 00:26:39.020
- IN BURBANK, AND SO I'VE BEEN A--
- 00:26:39.020 --> 00:26:40.250
- I'M A COMMUNITY PASTOR
- 00:26:40.250 --> 00:26:41.240
- THERE RIGHT NOW.
- 00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:43.290
- - ERIC: WOW, THE BOOK IS CALLED
- 00:26:43.290 --> 00:26:44.210
- "THE SHOT CALLER."
- 00:26:44.210 --> 00:26:45.150
- IT SOUNDS LIKE GOD
- 00:26:45.150 --> 00:26:46.120
- IS THE SHOT CALLER
- 00:26:46.120 --> 00:26:47.220
- AT THIS POINT.
- 00:26:47.220 --> 00:26:48.130
- - CASEY: ABSOLUTELY.
- 00:26:48.130 --> 00:26:49.040
- - ERIC: IS THAT TRUE?
- 00:26:49.040 --> 00:26:49.210
- IS THAT AT THE END OF THE BOOK?
- 00:26:49.210 --> 00:26:50.130
- I MEAN--
- 00:26:50.130 --> 00:26:50.230
- - CASEY: YES, THAT'S THE REASON
- 00:26:50.230 --> 00:26:51.170
- WHY THE REAL NAME-- IT SAYS,
- 00:26:51.290 --> 00:26:54.290
- "ULTIMATELY, GOD IS THE ULTIMATE
- 00:26:54.290 --> 00:26:55.210
- SHOT CALLER."
- 00:26:55.210 --> 00:26:56.080
- HE'S THE ONE THAT DECIDES.
- 00:26:56.080 --> 00:26:57.190
- HE'S THE LIFE-GIVER, MAN, AND,
- 00:26:57.190 --> 00:26:58.200
- AND HE'S THE ONE THAT DIRECTS
- 00:26:58.200 --> 00:26:59.290
- OUR PATH, ABSOLUTELY.
- 00:26:59.290 --> 00:27:02.050
- - ERIC: HE'S THE ONE THAT
- 00:27:02.050 --> 00:27:03.010
- WRITES OUR NAMES DOWN SOMEPLACE.
- 00:27:03.010 --> 00:27:05.040
- WOW, CASEY DIAZ, JUST, REALLY,
- 00:27:05.040 --> 00:27:07.120
- A PRIVILEGE TO SIT WITH YOU.
- 00:27:07.120 --> 00:27:09.020
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, AND THANK YOU
- 00:27:09.020 --> 00:27:10.230
- FOR YOUR OBEDIENCE IN WRITING
- 00:27:10.230 --> 00:27:12.170
- THIS BOOK BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT
- 00:27:12.170 --> 00:27:14.270
- ALL THIS HAPPENED TO YOU, IN
- 00:27:14.270 --> 00:27:16.120
- PART, SO THAT MANY OTHERS COULD
- 00:27:16.120 --> 00:27:18.160
- HEAR IT, AND THEIR LIVES CAN BE
- 00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:19.110
- CHANGED, SO THANK YOU.
- 00:27:19.110 --> 00:27:20.170
- - CASEY: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
- 00:27:20.170 --> 00:27:21.100
- HAVING ME ON YOUR SHOW.
- 00:27:21.100 --> 00:27:22.270
- [MUSIC]
- 00:27:24.010 --> 00:27:27.010
- - BRIAN KILMEADE: AND WE KNOW
- 00:27:34.260 --> 00:27:35.180
- AMERICA IS NOT PERFECT, BUT I
- 00:27:35.180 --> 00:27:36.230
- THINK WHAT'S COOL ABOUT US
- 00:27:36.230 --> 00:27:37.250
- IS WE TRY.
- 00:27:37.250 --> 00:27:38.130
- [MUSIC]
- 00:27:38.130 --> 00:27:40.140
- - ERIC: I SAY, IF KEVIN SORBO'S
- 00:27:40.140 --> 00:27:41.060
- NOT IN IT, IT'S NOT A
- 00:27:41.060 --> 00:27:41.280
- - KEVIN SORBO: YOU HEAR THAT,
- 00:27:44.150 --> 00:27:45.060
- KENDRICK BROTHERS?
- 00:27:45.060 --> 00:27:45.210
- YOU HEAR THAT PUREFLIX?
- 00:27:45.210 --> 00:27:46.090
- [LAUGHTER]
- 00:27:46.090 --> 00:27:46.200
- - ERIC: AND I SAY, IF YOU'RE
- 00:27:46.200 --> 00:27:47.110
- IN IT--
- 00:27:47.110 --> 00:27:47.210
- - KEVIN: WAKE UP, GUYS.
- 00:27:47.210 --> 00:27:48.090
- - ERIC: I SAY, "IF YOU'RE IN
- 00:27:48.090 --> 00:27:49.000
- IT," I SAY, "I DON'T EVEN NEED
- 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:49.270
- TO ASK."
- 00:27:49.270 --> 00:27:50.160
- "IF KEVIN SORBO'S IN IT,
- 00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:51.040
- IT'S A CHRISTIAN FILM,"
- 00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:51.230
- RIGHT?
- 00:27:51.230 --> 00:27:52.060