Ashley Abercrombie | Taking Off The Mask | TBN

Ashley Abercrombie | Taking Off The Mask

Watch Ashley Abercrombie | Taking Off The Mask
December 23, 2019
27:30

Life Today with James Robison

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Ashley Abercrombie | Taking Off The Mask

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  • NEXT ON LIFE TODAY.
  • 00:00:06.270 --> 00:00:08.240
  • ASHLEY ABERCROMBIE IS BREAKING THE SILENCE
  • 00:00:08.270 --> 00:00:10.240
  • AND TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT HER STRUGGLES
  • 00:00:10.270 --> 00:00:12.240
  • AFTER RAPE.
  • 00:00:12.270 --> 00:00:14.240
  • - AND WE WERE HAVING A PARTY IN MY ROOM
  • 00:00:14.270 --> 00:00:16.240
  • AND I REMEMBER WAKING UP TO AN UNWANTED SEXUAL ASSAULT.
  • 00:00:16.270 --> 00:00:22.030
  • I THINK THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT TIMES
  • 00:00:22.060 --> 00:00:24.160
  • OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
  • 00:00:24.190 --> 00:00:26.160
  • HOWEVER, I HAD SO LEARNED TO PRETEND AND TO PERFORM
  • 00:00:26.190 --> 00:00:29.110
  • AND TO PUT A MASK ON AND CARRY ON WITH LIFE,
  • 00:00:29.140 --> 00:00:31.290
  • I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY AND WENT TO WORK
  • 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:33.290
  • AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED TO ME.
  • 00:00:34.020 --> 00:00:36.030
  • 00:00:43.110 --> 00:00:50.200
  • James: IT'S A JOY!
  • 00:00:56.030 --> 00:00:59.030
  • IT'S REALLY A JOY
  • 00:00:59.030 --> 00:01:00.170
  • TO COME INTO YOUR HOME
  • 00:01:00.170 --> 00:01:01.240
  • OR WHEREVER YOU'RE WATCHING.
  • 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:02.280
  • I'M JAMES ROBISON.
  • 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:03.290
  • I WELCOME YOU TO LIFE TODAY .
  • 00:01:05.010 --> 00:01:06.040
  • WE HAVE GOT AN INCREDIBLY
  • 00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:07.100
  • GIFTED WRITER/COMMUNICATOR,
  • 00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:09.010
  • ASHLEY ABERCROMBIE.
  • 00:01:09.010 --> 00:01:10.240
  • SHE HAS WRITTEN A BOOK CALLED
  • 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:12.050
  • THE RISE OF THE TRUTH ...
  • 00:01:12.050 --> 00:01:13.250
  • BY THE WAY,
  • 00:01:13.250 --> 00:01:15.010
  • LET ME JUST MENTION THIS
  • 00:01:15.010 --> 00:01:16.030
  • WHILE WE'RE TALKING
  • 00:01:16.030 --> 00:01:17.040
  • ABOUT TRUTH.
  • 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:18.040
  • THIS IS NOT MY ATTEMPT
  • 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:19.090
  • OF A REMAKE
  • 00:01:19.090 --> 00:01:20.120
  • OF MICHAEL JACKSON.
  • 00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:21.140
  • I HAD SURGERY
  • 00:01:21.140 --> 00:01:22.190
  • FOR CARPAL TUNNEL,
  • 00:01:22.190 --> 00:01:23.270
  • WHICH I NEVER DREAMED
  • 00:01:23.270 --> 00:01:25.010
  • THAT ME TALKING ON THE PHONE
  • 00:01:25.010 --> 00:01:26.090
  • OR USING MY HANDS THAT WAY
  • 00:01:26.090 --> 00:01:29.080
  • COULD CAUSE THAT.
  • 00:01:29.080 --> 00:01:31.130
  • BUT IT DID AND I'VE HAD
  • 00:01:31.130 --> 00:01:33.060
  • THIS SHOULD BE OFF
  • 00:01:36.130 --> 00:01:37.190
  • WITHIN A WEEK BUT YOU'LL
  • 00:01:37.190 --> 00:01:39.210
  • HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT
  • 00:01:39.210 --> 00:01:40.260
  • THIS WEEK.
  • 00:01:40.260 --> 00:01:42.030
  • REALLY GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE.
  • 00:01:43.080 --> 00:01:44.200
  • SHE IS PART OF A STAFF
  • 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:47.010
  • AT LIBERTY CHURCH
  • 00:01:47.010 --> 00:01:48.280
  • IN THE MANHATTAN AREA.
  • 00:01:49.090 --> 00:01:52.090
  • HER HUSBAND THERE
  • 00:01:52.090 --> 00:01:53.200
  • IS ONE OF THE PASTORS
  • 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:54.280
  • AT THE CHURCH
  • 00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:56.070
  • THAT HAVE JUST REALLY
  • 00:01:56.070 --> 00:01:57.140
  • BEEN BLESSED OF THE LORD.
  • 00:01:57.140 --> 00:01:58.190
  • AND THEY JUST WANT PEOPLE
  • 00:01:58.190 --> 00:01:59.280
  • TO FIND LIBERTY.
  • 00:01:59.280 --> 00:02:01.100
  • SHE HAS BEEN REALLY...
  • 00:02:01.100 --> 00:02:03.120
  • SHE HAS RISEN TO TRUTH TELLER.
  • 00:02:05.020 --> 00:02:08.020
  • SHE SAYS THAT SHE WAS TAUGHT
  • 00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:09.210
  • TO TELL THE TRUTH
  • 00:02:09.210 --> 00:02:10.280
  • BUT ACTUALLY BEGAN TO LIVE
  • 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:12.090
  • SOMETHING OTHER THAN TRUTH.
  • 00:02:12.090 --> 00:02:13.260
  • THIS IS REALLY
  • 00:02:13.260 --> 00:02:15.100
  • AN AMAZING STORY.
  • 00:02:15.100 --> 00:02:16.270
  • SHE IS JUST A REALLY,
  • 00:02:16.270 --> 00:02:18.150
  • I THINK, A GIFT FROM GOD
  • 00:02:18.150 --> 00:02:20.270
  • TO HELP ALL OF US
  • 00:02:20.270 --> 00:02:22.080
  • UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE
  • 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:23.170
  • OF NOT ONLY TELLING THE TRUTH
  • 00:02:23.170 --> 00:02:24.290
  • BUT THE TRUTH
  • 00:02:24.290 --> 00:02:26.120
  • THAT GIVES US LIBERTY,
  • 00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:27.210
  • THAT SETS US FREE.
  • 00:02:27.210 --> 00:02:29.060
  • WOULD YOU WELCOME ASHLEY
  • 00:02:29.060 --> 00:02:30.140
  • TO LIFE TODAY ?
  • 00:02:30.140 --> 00:02:31.200
  • WE'RE REALLY GLAD TO HAVE YOU.
  • 00:02:31.200 --> 00:02:33.030
  • Ashley: IT'S SUCH AN HONOR
  • 00:02:33.030 --> 00:02:34.160
  • TO BE HERE WITH YOU GUYS.
  • 00:02:34.160 --> 00:02:35.210
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH
  • 00:02:35.210 --> 00:02:37.010
  • FOR HAVING ME.
  • 00:02:37.010 --> 00:02:38.040
  • James: THANK YOU.
  • 00:02:38.040 --> 00:02:39.040
  • HOW IS LIFE UP THERE
  • 00:02:39.040 --> 00:02:40.040
  • IN THE BIG CITY?
  • 00:02:40.040 --> 00:02:41.040
  • Ashley: I WILL TELL YOU
  • 00:02:41.040 --> 00:02:42.040
  • THE TRUTH, IT IS BUSY.
  • 00:02:42.040 --> 00:02:43.040
  • I THINK THAT COULD BE BECAUSE
  • 00:02:43.040 --> 00:02:44.040
  • I HAVE A TWO-YEAR OLD
  • 00:02:44.040 --> 00:02:45.040
  • AND A FIVE-YEAR OLD
  • 00:02:45.040 --> 00:02:46.040
  • SO I CAN'T TELL
  • 00:02:46.040 --> 00:02:47.040
  • IF IT IS THE CITY
  • 00:02:47.040 --> 00:02:48.040
  • OR IF IT THE TODDLER YEAR --
  • 00:02:48.040 --> 00:02:49.070
  • I'M NOT SURE YET.
  • 00:02:49.070 --> 00:02:50.170
  • James: WELL, A TWO-YEAR OLD
  • 00:02:50.170 --> 00:02:51.190
  • AND A FIVE-YEAR OLD
  • 00:02:51.190 --> 00:02:52.200
  • WOULD BE A CHALLENGE.
  • 00:02:52.200 --> 00:02:53.210
  • Ashley: AND TWO BOYS
  • 00:02:53.210 --> 00:02:54.250
  • ON TOP THAT.
  • 00:02:54.250 --> 00:02:56.020
  • YES! PRAY FOR ME!
  • 00:02:56.020 --> 00:02:57.060
  • James: I WANT YOU, BECAUSE
  • 00:02:57.060 --> 00:02:58.140
  • WE WANT TO COVER SOME GROUND
  • 00:02:58.140 --> 00:02:59.210
  • BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME
  • 00:02:59.210 --> 00:03:00.280
  • VERY OBVIOUS THAT GOD
  • 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:02.040
  • HAS GIVEN YOU A GIFT,
  • 00:03:02.040 --> 00:03:03.090
  • AND YOU'RE ENJOYING GOING OUT
  • 00:03:03.090 --> 00:03:04.120
  • SPEAKING AND SHARING.
  • 00:03:04.120 --> 00:03:05.180
  • IF SOMEONE WANTED YOU,
  • 00:03:05.180 --> 00:03:07.010
  • AFTER HEARING YOU HERE
  • 00:03:07.010 --> 00:03:08.110
  • ON LIFE TODAY
  • 00:03:08.110 --> 00:03:09.190
  • AND READING THE BOOK
  • 00:03:09.190 --> 00:03:11.010
  • OR HEARING ABOUT IT,
  • 00:03:11.010 --> 00:03:12.050
  • HOW WOULD THEY FIND OUT
  • 00:03:12.050 --> 00:03:13.090
  • HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU
  • 00:03:13.090 --> 00:03:14.170
  • AND INVITE YOU TO THEIR AREA?
  • 00:03:14.170 --> 00:03:16.100
  • Ashley: THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
  • 00:03:17.170 --> 00:03:18.200
  • WELL, I HAVE A WEBSITE
  • 00:03:18.200 --> 00:03:19.220
  • THAT'S ASHABERCROMBIE.ORG
  • 00:03:19.220 --> 00:03:21.120
  • AND ON THERE
  • 00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:22.190
  • YOU CAN WATCH ME SPEAK,
  • 00:03:22.190 --> 00:03:23.210
  • AND CHECK OUT ALL MY CONTENT.
  • 00:03:24.270 --> 00:03:26.010
  • MY YOU VERSION BIBLE STUDIES,
  • 00:03:26.010 --> 00:03:27.140
  • DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THAT
  • 00:03:27.140 --> 00:03:28.180
  • ON THAT WEBSITE.
  • 00:03:28.180 --> 00:03:29.210
  • James: HAVEN'T A LOT OF PEOPLE
  • 00:03:29.210 --> 00:03:30.270
  • DONE THAT BIBLE STUDY?
  • 00:03:30.270 --> 00:03:32.000
  • SEVERAL 100.000?
  • 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:33.020
  • Ashley: YES!
  • 00:03:33.020 --> 00:03:34.060
  • IT'S ALMOST 300.000 NOW.
  • 00:03:34.060 --> 00:03:35.130
  • I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!
  • 00:03:35.130 --> 00:03:36.150
  • IT MAKES NO SENSE.
  • 00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:37.230
  • James: WERE YOU JUST
  • 00:03:37.230 --> 00:03:39.020
  • A GIFTED SOCIAL PERSON
  • 00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:40.100
  • WITH THE SOCIAL MEDIA?
  • 00:03:40.100 --> 00:03:41.160
  • ARE YOU AMAZED
  • 00:03:41.160 --> 00:03:42.210
  • AT HOW THIS JUST TOOK OFF?
  • 00:03:42.210 --> 00:03:43.290
  • Ashley: I'M DEFINITELY AMAZED.
  • 00:03:43.290 --> 00:03:45.020
  • AT THE TIME
  • 00:03:45.020 --> 00:03:46.060
  • WHEN I WROTE THAT BIBLE STUDY
  • 00:03:46.060 --> 00:03:47.140
  • IT WAS NOT EVEN --
  • 00:03:47.140 --> 00:03:48.180
  • I WASN'T DOING THAT GREAT
  • 00:03:48.180 --> 00:03:49.240
  • ON SOCIAL,
  • 00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:51.010
  • IN TERMS OF
  • 00:03:51.010 --> 00:03:52.020
  • HOW TO WORK IT AND
  • 00:03:52.020 --> 00:03:53.040
  • HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO PEOPLE?
  • 00:03:53.040 --> 00:03:54.050
  • WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • 00:03:54.050 --> 00:03:55.070
  • SO IT REALLY WAS
  • 00:03:55.070 --> 00:03:56.090
  • JUST A SWEET GIFT FROM GOD.
  • 00:03:56.090 --> 00:03:57.110
  • I'VE BEEN WRITING
  • 00:03:57.110 --> 00:03:58.130
  • MY WHOLE LIFE SO THAT WAS JUST
  • 00:03:58.130 --> 00:03:59.160
  • A SWEET KISS FROM HEAVEN,
  • 00:03:59.160 --> 00:04:00.190
  • AND I THINK
  • 00:04:00.190 --> 00:04:01.200
  • A GREAT ENCOURAGEMENT FROM GOD
  • 00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:02.200
  • THAT I HAD SOMETHING TO SAY.
  • 00:04:02.200 --> 00:04:03.210
  • James: ALL RIGHT,
  • 00:04:03.210 --> 00:04:04.250
  • I WANT YOU TO TELL US WHAT
  • 00:04:04.250 --> 00:04:06.000
  • THE IMPLICATIONS ARE HERE.
  • 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.040
  • JUST TELL US A LITTLE BIT
  • 00:04:07.040 --> 00:04:08.060
  • ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY BECAUSE
  • 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:09.100
  • YOU'VE WRITTEN ABOUT IT
  • 00:04:09.100 --> 00:04:10.110
  • AND IT'S CAPTIVATING.
  • 00:04:10.110 --> 00:04:12.180
  • BUT TELL OUR VIEWERS SOMETHING
  • 00:04:12.180 --> 00:04:13.250
  • ABOUT YOUR OWN JOURNEY,
  • 00:04:13.250 --> 00:04:15.090
  • ASHLEY.
  • 00:04:15.090 --> 00:04:16.210
  • Ashley: YES, I'D LOVE TO.
  • 00:04:16.210 --> 00:04:17.260
  • WELL,
  • 00:04:17.260 --> 00:04:19.020
  • I WAS RAISED IN THE SOUTH,
  • 00:04:19.020 --> 00:04:20.050
  • IN NORTH CAROLINA
  • 00:04:20.050 --> 00:04:21.060
  • AND I LOVED IT.
  • 00:04:21.060 --> 00:04:22.090
  • THERE'S SO MUCH TO LOVE
  • 00:04:22.090 --> 00:04:23.130
  • ABOUT BEING RAISED
  • 00:04:23.130 --> 00:04:24.170
  • IN A SMALL TOWN AND
  • 00:04:24.170 --> 00:04:25.190
  • ALL THE COMMUNITY ELEMENTS.
  • 00:04:25.190 --> 00:04:26.240
  • WE WERE RAISED
  • 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:27.250
  • TO TELL THE TRUTH.
  • 00:04:27.250 --> 00:04:28.270
  • WE WERE RAISED
  • 00:04:28.270 --> 00:04:29.290
  • TO BE TRUTH TELLERS.
  • 00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:31.010
  • YOU ARE HONEST
  • 00:04:31.010 --> 00:04:32.030
  • OR YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
  • 00:04:32.030 --> 00:04:33.050
  • SO FOR ME,
  • 00:04:33.050 --> 00:04:34.070
  • I REALLY LEARNED THAT
  • 00:04:34.070 --> 00:04:35.090
  • THAT WAS TELLING THE TRUTH
  • 00:04:35.090 --> 00:04:36.110
  • ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
  • 00:04:36.110 --> 00:04:37.130
  • AND SO I HAD TO COME
  • 00:04:37.130 --> 00:04:38.160
  • TO A FUNDAMENTAL UNDERSTANDING
  • 00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:40.240
  • THAT ACTUALLY
  • 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:41.240
  • THE LORD WANTED ME
  • 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:42.240
  • TO BE HONEST
  • 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:43.240
  • ABOUT MY OWN LIFE
  • 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:44.240
  • AND ABOUT MY OWN JOURNEY
  • 00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:45.240
  • AND ABOUT MY OWN STRUGGLES.
  • 00:04:45.240 --> 00:04:46.240
  • SO AS MUCH AS I LOVED
  • 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:47.240
  • GROWING UP IN THAT SMALL TOWN,
  • 00:04:47.240 --> 00:04:48.240
  • I FEEL LIKE I ALSO LEARNED
  • 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:49.240
  • TO WEAR A MASK
  • 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:50.240
  • BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNEW ME
  • 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:51.240
  • BUT NOBODY REALLY KNEW ME
  • 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:52.240
  • AT ALL.
  • 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:53.240
  • I KNEW HOW TO MASK MY PAIN
  • 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:54.290
  • AND I KNEW HOW TO PUT IT ON
  • 00:04:54.290 --> 00:04:56.110
  • AND ACT RIGHT
  • 00:04:56.110 --> 00:04:57.110
  • AND SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS
  • 00:04:57.110 --> 00:04:58.110
  • AND DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS
  • 00:04:58.110 --> 00:04:59.110
  • BUT ON THE SAME TIME
  • 00:04:59.110 --> 00:05:00.130
  • ON THE INSIDE
  • 00:05:00.130 --> 00:05:01.150
  • FEELING VERY BROKEN
  • 00:05:01.150 --> 00:05:02.170
  • AND FEELING VERY LOST
  • 00:05:02.170 --> 00:05:03.190
  • AND FEELING VERY ALONE.
  • 00:05:03.190 --> 00:05:04.210
  • AND EVEN THOUGH
  • 00:05:04.210 --> 00:05:05.230
  • I WAS IN CHURCH
  • 00:05:05.230 --> 00:05:06.250
  • AT A VERY YOUNG AGE,
  • 00:05:06.250 --> 00:05:07.270
  • I WALKED AWAY AS A TEENAGER.
  • 00:05:07.270 --> 00:05:09.020
  • AND WHEN I WE WANT OFF
  • 00:05:09.020 --> 00:05:10.080
  • TO MY COLLEGE YEARS I THINK
  • 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:11.140
  • I JUST GOT SO EXHAUSTED
  • 00:05:11.140 --> 00:05:12.160
  • WITH PRETENDING AND PERFORMING
  • 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:13.180
  • AND TRYING TO KEEP
  • 00:05:13.180 --> 00:05:14.200
  • THAT MASK UP
  • 00:05:14.200 --> 00:05:15.230
  • AND TRYING TO HOLD IT
  • 00:05:15.230 --> 00:05:16.260
  • ALL TOGETHER
  • 00:05:16.260 --> 00:05:17.270
  • SO I BEGAN TO USE DRUGS,
  • 00:05:17.270 --> 00:05:18.280
  • I BEGAN TO ABUSE ALCOHOL.
  • 00:05:18.280 --> 00:05:20.050
  • AND THEN IN MY FRESHMAN YEAR
  • 00:05:20.050 --> 00:05:22.120
  • OF COLLEGE
  • 00:05:22.120 --> 00:05:23.200
  • DEVELOPED AN EATING DISORDER
  • 00:05:23.200 --> 00:05:24.240
  • CALLED BULIMIA.
  • 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:25.250
  • AND PART OF THAT WAS ME
  • 00:05:25.250 --> 00:05:27.030
  • GRASPING FOR CONTROL.
  • 00:05:27.030 --> 00:05:28.050
  • I WANTED SOMETHING TO CONTROL
  • 00:05:28.050 --> 00:05:29.070
  • IN MY LIFE.
  • 00:05:29.070 --> 00:05:30.090
  • AND ALSO,
  • 00:05:30.090 --> 00:05:31.140
  • BECAUSE I WAS UNABLE TO HAVE
  • 00:05:31.140 --> 00:05:32.170
  • RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:33.230
  • BECAUSE I WORE A MASK SO OFTEN
  • 00:05:33.230 --> 00:05:34.280
  • I DIDN'T HAVE AN OUTLET
  • 00:05:34.280 --> 00:05:36.010
  • FOR MY PAIN.
  • 00:05:36.010 --> 00:05:37.060
  • SO BULIMIA REALLY GAVE ME
  • 00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:38.090
  • THAT SELF HARM AS ONE WAY
  • 00:05:38.090 --> 00:05:39.110
  • THAT I LEARNED
  • 00:05:39.110 --> 00:05:40.160
  • TO COPE WITH LIFE.
  • 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:41.180
  • IT CAME TO A HEAD...
  • 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:42.270
  • James: LET ME ASK YOU
  • 00:05:42.270 --> 00:05:44.020
  • YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
  • 00:05:45.060 --> 00:05:46.050
  • BEING IN AN AREA
  • 00:05:46.050 --> 00:05:47.080
  • WHERE YOU LEARNED TO MASK IT.
  • 00:05:47.080 --> 00:05:48.100
  • DO YOU THINK THAT
  • 00:05:48.100 --> 00:05:49.170
  • IN A LOT OF CHURCH SETTINGS
  • 00:05:49.170 --> 00:05:51.060
  • THERE IS QUITE A BIT OF THAT
  • 00:05:52.220 --> 00:05:53.250
  • GOING ON?
  • 00:05:53.250 --> 00:05:55.010
  • TO WHERE PEOPLE
  • 00:05:55.010 --> 00:05:56.030
  • PUT ON A FACADE, LET'S SAY,
  • 00:05:56.030 --> 00:05:57.080
  • OF WHAT THEY THINK
  • 00:05:57.080 --> 00:05:58.110
  • PEOPLE EXPECT
  • 00:05:58.110 --> 00:05:59.180
  • OR WHAT THEY SHOULD LOOK LIKE
  • 00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:00.220
  • OR HOW THEY SHOULD BEHAVE?
  • 00:06:00.220 --> 00:06:01.260
  • DO YOU THINK THERE'S
  • 00:06:01.260 --> 00:06:03.060
  • QUITE A BIT OF PRETENSE?
  • 00:06:03.060 --> 00:06:04.160
  • Ashley: I DO.
  • 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:05.220
  • I THINK SOMETIMES
  • 00:06:05.220 --> 00:06:06.250
  • IT IS UNINTENTIONAL
  • 00:06:06.250 --> 00:06:08.040
  • BECAUSE I THINK
  • 00:06:08.040 --> 00:06:09.100
  • OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
  • 00:06:09.100 --> 00:06:10.150
  • VERY OFTEN REVEALS
  • 00:06:10.150 --> 00:06:11.150
  • OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS.
  • 00:06:11.150 --> 00:06:12.150
  • SO IF WE STRUGGLE WITH GRACE,
  • 00:06:12.150 --> 00:06:13.150
  • TO RECEIVE GOD'S GRACE
  • 00:06:13.150 --> 00:06:14.150
  • WE'LL STRUGGLE
  • 00:06:14.150 --> 00:06:15.150
  • TO GIVE IT TO OURSELVES
  • 00:06:15.150 --> 00:06:16.150
  • WHICH MEANS WE'LL STRUGGLE
  • 00:06:16.150 --> 00:06:17.150
  • TO GIVE IT TO OTHERS.
  • 00:06:17.150 --> 00:06:18.150
  • AND I THINK THE SAME IS TRUE
  • 00:06:18.150 --> 00:06:19.160
  • WITH IMAGE.
  • 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:20.160
  • WAS JUST SITTING UP THERE
  • 00:06:21.180 --> 00:06:22.170
  • WAITING FOR ME TO FAIL.
  • 00:06:22.170 --> 00:06:23.170
  • THAT HE'S THIS ANGRY PERSON
  • 00:06:23.170 --> 00:06:24.170
  • THAT JUST WANTS ME
  • 00:06:24.170 --> 00:06:25.170
  • TO GET IT TOGETHER
  • 00:06:25.170 --> 00:06:26.170
  • OR HE'S JUST VERY ALOOF.
  • 00:06:26.170 --> 00:06:27.170
  • THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH
  • 00:06:28.180 --> 00:06:29.170
  • BUT WHY DOES HE CARE
  • 00:06:29.170 --> 00:06:30.170
  • ABOUT MY LITTLE LIFE?
  • 00:06:30.170 --> 00:06:31.170
  • SO I THINK
  • 00:06:31.170 --> 00:06:32.170
  • IT WAS QUITE A JOURNEY FOR ME
  • 00:06:32.170 --> 00:06:33.180
  • TO UNDERSTAND TWO THINGS
  • 00:06:33.180 --> 00:06:34.180
  • AND ONE IS THAT GOD IS CLOSE.
  • 00:06:34.180 --> 00:06:35.180
  • AND THAT HE IS EMMANUEL GOD;
  • 00:06:35.180 --> 00:06:36.180
  • GOD WITH US.
  • 00:06:36.180 --> 00:06:37.180
  • THAT HE IS IN OUR PAIN.
  • 00:06:37.180 --> 00:06:38.190
  • THAT HE IS NOT ABSENT
  • 00:06:38.190 --> 00:06:39.200
  • IN OUR PAIN,
  • 00:06:39.200 --> 00:06:40.210
  • HE'S VERY PRESENT IN OUR PAIN.
  • 00:06:40.210 --> 00:06:41.280
  • HE IS CLOSE
  • 00:06:41.280 --> 00:06:42.290
  • TO THE BROKENHEARTED.
  • 00:06:42.290 --> 00:06:44.000
  • THE OTHER THING IS
  • 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.010
  • LEARNING THAT I'M LOVED
  • 00:06:45.010 --> 00:06:46.020
  • EVEN THOUGH I'M BROKEN.
  • 00:06:46.020 --> 00:06:47.030
  • I THINK THAT'S A POWERFUL
  • 00:06:47.030 --> 00:06:48.040
  • FUNDAMENTAL UNDERSTANDING.
  • 00:06:48.040 --> 00:06:49.050
  • WHEN YOU LEARN
  • 00:06:49.050 --> 00:06:50.060
  • THAT YOU'RE BROKEN,
  • 00:06:50.060 --> 00:06:51.070
  • EVERY PERSON IS NOT EXEMPT
  • 00:06:51.070 --> 00:06:52.080
  • FROM CHARACTER FLAWS
  • 00:06:52.080 --> 00:06:53.090
  • OR ISSUES OR PROBLEMS OR PAIN.
  • 00:06:53.090 --> 00:06:54.100
  • LIFE HAPPENS TO US ALL.
  • 00:06:54.100 --> 00:06:55.110
  • I THINK
  • 00:06:55.110 --> 00:06:56.120
  • WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THAT
  • 00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:57.130
  • WE CAN COME TO GOD
  • 00:06:57.130 --> 00:06:58.140
  • AND COME TO OTHERS
  • 00:06:58.140 --> 00:06:59.150
  • KNOWING THAT I'M BROKEN
  • 00:06:59.150 --> 00:07:00.160
  • AND YOU'RE BROKEN
  • 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:01.170
  • BUT HERE WE ARE.
  • 00:07:01.170 --> 00:07:02.180
  • THIS GREAT GOD OF GRACE
  • 00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:03.190
  • WHO LOVES US.
  • 00:07:03.190 --> 00:07:04.200
  • James: SO YOU'RE JUST
  • 00:07:04.200 --> 00:07:05.200
  • AN OVERFLOWER RIGHT NOW
  • 00:07:05.200 --> 00:07:06.200
  • IN THIS LITTLE SPIEL HERE
  • 00:07:06.200 --> 00:07:07.260
  • OF OPENNESS AND HONESTY,
  • 00:07:07.260 --> 00:07:10.170
  • WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY
  • 00:07:10.170 --> 00:07:11.250
  • YOU ESCAPE FROM THE FACADE
  • 00:07:11.250 --> 00:07:13.030
  • OR THE PRETENSE OR LIVING
  • 00:07:13.030 --> 00:07:15.040
  • AS AN ACTOR OR ACTRESS.
  • 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.150
  • BETTY, WHEN YOU CAME FORWARD
  • 00:07:16.150 --> 00:07:18.000
  • OUT OF THE CHOIR,
  • 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:19.240
  • BETTY WAS KNOWN AS...
  • 00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:21.110
  • Betty: WELL, EXCUSE ME.
  • 00:07:21.110 --> 00:07:23.290
  • I CAN RELATE TO A LOT OF THAT
  • 00:07:23.290 --> 00:07:25.210
  • YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE
  • 00:07:25.210 --> 00:07:27.020
  • I GREW UP IN THE CHURCH.
  • 00:07:27.020 --> 00:07:28.240
  • I CAME TO UNDERSTAND
  • 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:31.020
  • WHAT'S EXPECTED OF ME
  • 00:07:31.020 --> 00:07:33.050
  • MORE THAN WHAT I FELT
  • 00:07:33.050 --> 00:07:34.240
  • WITHIN MY OWN HEART
  • 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:35.280
  • AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
  • 00:07:35.280 --> 00:07:37.080
  • SO I TRIED TO DO THOSE THINGS
  • 00:07:37.080 --> 00:07:38.200
  • THAT WOULD PLEASE EVERYBODY.
  • 00:07:38.200 --> 00:07:40.270
  • BUT YET LIKE YOU,
  • 00:07:40.270 --> 00:07:42.050
  • I FELT EMPTY INSIDE.
  • 00:07:42.050 --> 00:07:43.190
  • SO THAT CAN GRAB
  • 00:07:43.190 --> 00:07:44.270
  • THE GOOD PERSON,
  • 00:07:44.270 --> 00:07:46.050
  • THE ONE THAT'S TRYING
  • 00:07:46.050 --> 00:07:47.150
  • TO BE GOOD AND KIND
  • 00:07:47.150 --> 00:07:48.230
  • AND LOVING BUT YET, THERE IS
  • 00:07:48.230 --> 00:07:51.110
  • SOMETHING MISSING THERE.
  • 00:07:51.110 --> 00:07:52.210
  • James: SO YOU'VE BEEN
  • 00:07:52.210 --> 00:07:53.260
  • GOING THROUGH THIS FACADE.
  • 00:07:53.260 --> 00:07:54.260
  • NOW THEN YOU'VE ESCAPED
  • 00:07:54.260 --> 00:07:56.000
  • THE FACADE
  • 00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:57.040
  • WITH ALL THE WRONG ACTIONS.
  • 00:07:57.040 --> 00:07:59.020
  • YOU'VE GOTTEN INTO DRINKING
  • 00:07:59.020 --> 00:08:00.180
  • AND DRUGS AND ALL THIS
  • 00:08:00.180 --> 00:08:01.190
  • AND SO YOU'VE JUST REALLY
  • 00:08:01.190 --> 00:08:02.230
  • MADE A MESS.
  • 00:08:02.230 --> 00:08:03.250
  • Ashley: YEP.
  • 00:08:03.250 --> 00:08:05.020
  • AND IT GETS WORSE.
  • 00:08:05.020 --> 00:08:06.190
  • James: OKAY. LET'S HEAR IT.
  • 00:08:06.190 --> 00:08:07.200
  • I WANT TO HEAR IT.
  • 00:08:07.200 --> 00:08:08.200
  • TAKE US ON THE WHOLE
  • 00:08:08.200 --> 00:08:09.220
  • TRUTH MATTER HERE.
  • 00:08:09.220 --> 00:08:11.020
  • I WANT TO HEAR IT.
  • 00:08:11.020 --> 00:08:12.080
  • Ashley: WELL, SOPHOMORE YEAR
  • 00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:13.180
  • OF MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE
  • 00:08:13.180 --> 00:08:15.190
  • I WAS A RESIDENT ASSISTANT
  • 00:08:15.190 --> 00:08:17.050
  • IN OUR DORM
  • 00:08:17.050 --> 00:08:18.150
  • AND WE WERE HAVING A PARTY
  • 00:08:18.150 --> 00:08:19.240
  • IN MY ROOM.
  • 00:08:19.240 --> 00:08:21.020
  • I REMEMBER WAKING UP
  • 00:08:21.020 --> 00:08:24.010
  • TO AN UNWANTED SEXUAL ASSAULT.
  • 00:08:24.010 --> 00:08:26.100
  • I THINK THAT WAS ONE
  • 00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:27.270
  • OF THE MOST DIFFICULT TIMES
  • 00:08:27.270 --> 00:08:29.070
  • OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
  • 00:08:29.070 --> 00:08:30.120
  • HOWEVER, I HAD SO LEARNED
  • 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:32.040
  • TO PRETEND AND TO PERFORM
  • 00:08:32.040 --> 00:08:33.140
  • AND TO PUT A MASK ON
  • 00:08:33.140 --> 00:08:34.240
  • AND CARRY ON WITH LIFE
  • 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:35.260
  • BECAUSE ALSO I THOUGHT THAT'S
  • 00:08:35.260 --> 00:08:36.290
  • HOW YOU COPED WITH LIFE.
  • 00:08:36.290 --> 00:08:38.020
  • I DIDN'T KNOW
  • 00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:39.040
  • YOU COULD ACTUALLY DEAL
  • 00:08:39.040 --> 00:08:40.060
  • WITH HARD THINGS OR FACE
  • 00:08:40.060 --> 00:08:41.090
  • YOUR FEARS OR FACE PAIN.
  • 00:08:41.090 --> 00:08:42.110
  • I DIDN'T KNOW
  • 00:08:42.110 --> 00:08:43.130
  • HOW TO DO THAT YET.
  • 00:08:43.130 --> 00:08:44.160
  • I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY
  • 00:08:44.160 --> 00:08:45.180
  • AND WENT TO WORK AS IF
  • 00:08:45.180 --> 00:08:46.210
  • NOTHING HAD HAPPENED TO ME
  • 00:08:46.210 --> 00:08:47.230
  • AND JUST CARRIED ON WITH LIFE.
  • 00:08:47.230 --> 00:08:48.260
  • I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT
  • 00:08:48.260 --> 00:08:49.290
  • THE SEXUAL ASSAULT
  • 00:08:49.290 --> 00:08:51.000
  • FOR SEVERAL YEARS AFTER THAT.
  • 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:52.060
  • AND THEN WENT ON
  • 00:08:52.060 --> 00:08:53.120
  • IN MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE
  • 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.160
  • AND I DECIDED TO MOVE
  • 00:08:54.160 --> 00:08:55.230
  • ACROSS THE COUNTRY
  • 00:08:55.230 --> 00:08:56.270
  • BECAUSE I THOUGHT,
  • 00:08:56.270 --> 00:08:57.280
  • I'LL JUST RUN.
  • 00:08:57.280 --> 00:08:58.290
  • LET'S GET AWAY
  • 00:08:58.290 --> 00:09:00.050
  • FROM EVERYTHING.
  • 00:09:00.050 --> 00:09:01.090
  • James: HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH
  • 00:09:01.090 --> 00:09:02.150
  • THE PAIN OF THAT EXPERIENCE?
  • 00:09:02.150 --> 00:09:03.190
  • DID YOU CONTINUE
  • 00:09:03.190 --> 00:09:04.210
  • WITH THINGS TO ESCAPE?
  • 00:09:04.210 --> 00:09:05.230
  • IN OTHER WORDS,
  • 00:09:05.230 --> 00:09:07.000
  • THAT DIDN'T GET BETTER?
  • 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:08.120
  • Ashley: I DID.
  • 00:09:08.120 --> 00:09:09.220
  • I CALMED DOWN ON DRINKING
  • 00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:10.240
  • AND DRUGS
  • 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:12.010
  • BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE
  • 00:09:12.010 --> 00:09:13.050
  • BEING OUT OF CONTROL ANYMORE.
  • 00:09:13.050 --> 00:09:14.110
  • I WAS AFRAID
  • 00:09:14.110 --> 00:09:15.130
  • OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME
  • 00:09:15.130 --> 00:09:16.200
  • WHEN I WAS OUT OF CONTROL.
  • 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:17.250
  • YOU KNOW
  • 00:09:17.250 --> 00:09:18.250
  • RAPE IS THE MOST
  • 00:09:18.250 --> 00:09:20.060
  • UNDER-REPORTED CRIME
  • 00:09:20.060 --> 00:09:21.190
  • IN AMERICA, ESPECIALLY
  • 00:09:21.190 --> 00:09:22.230
  • ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES.
  • 00:09:22.230 --> 00:09:24.000
  • ONE IN FIVE
  • 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:25.070
  • REPORTED CASES OF RAPE HAPPEN
  • 00:09:25.070 --> 00:09:26.110
  • ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES.
  • 00:09:26.110 --> 00:09:27.170
  • SO THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL
  • 00:09:27.170 --> 00:09:28.200
  • AND HAPPENS TO SO MANY WOMEN.
  • 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:29.220
  • I NEVER REPORTED MY CASE
  • 00:09:29.220 --> 00:09:30.240
  • AND THERE'S MILLIONS OF WOMEN
  • 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:31.250
  • WHO ARE JUST LIKE ME
  • 00:09:31.250 --> 00:09:32.290
  • WHO NEVER DID THAT.
  • 00:09:32.290 --> 00:09:34.000
  • James: THAT'S SAD!
  • 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.020
  • IT'S EVEN SAD
  • 00:09:35.020 --> 00:09:36.050
  • IT IS EVEN SAD
  • 00:09:37.110 --> 00:09:38.110
  • THAT ANYONE WOULD FIND JOY
  • 00:09:38.110 --> 00:09:39.130
  • OUT OF FORCING THEMSELVES
  • 00:09:39.130 --> 00:09:40.260
  • ON SOMEBODY ELSE
  • 00:09:40.260 --> 00:09:42.030
  • AND CALL THAT
  • 00:09:42.030 --> 00:09:43.070
  • I CAN'T COMPREHEND IT.
  • 00:09:44.110 --> 00:09:45.120
  • A LOT OF THINGS
  • 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:46.170
  • MAYBE WE CAN COMPREHEND,
  • 00:09:46.170 --> 00:09:47.210
  • SOME ISSUES AND CHALLENGES.
  • 00:09:47.210 --> 00:09:48.240
  • HOW IN THE WORLD...
  • 00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:50.000
  • I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
  • 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:51.040
  • AND I DON'T EVEN TO THIS DAY
  • 00:09:51.040 --> 00:09:53.040
  • UNDERSTAND HOW ANYBODY
  • 00:09:53.040 --> 00:09:54.080
  • GETS JOY
  • 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:55.170
  • OUT OF HURTING SOMEBODY,
  • 00:09:55.170 --> 00:09:56.210
  • CAUSING THEM DIFFICULTY.
  • 00:09:56.210 --> 00:09:58.130
  • EVEN IN THE HAZING
  • 00:09:58.130 --> 00:09:59.240
  • THAT GOES ON IN SCHOOLS,
  • 00:09:59.240 --> 00:10:01.010
  • WHY WOULD THAT BE FUN
  • 00:10:01.010 --> 00:10:03.200
  • TO MAKE SOMEONE MISERABLE?
  • 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:04.290
  • I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
  • 00:10:04.290 --> 00:10:06.010
  • I DON'T THINK
  • 00:10:06.010 --> 00:10:07.050
  • I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT.
  • 00:10:07.050 --> 00:10:08.070
  • I DON'T EVEN THINK
  • 00:10:08.070 --> 00:10:09.090
  • IT IS WORTHY
  • 00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:10.100
  • OF ATTEMPTING TO UNDERSTAND.
  • 00:10:10.100 --> 00:10:11.160
  • BUT HOW THIS RAPE CONTINUES,
  • 00:10:11.160 --> 00:10:13.180
  • WHAT SATISFACTION IS THERE?
  • 00:10:13.180 --> 00:10:15.090
  • IT IS A HORRIBLE THOUGHT
  • 00:10:15.090 --> 00:10:16.270
  • AND IT BREAKS MY HEART,
  • 00:10:16.270 --> 00:10:18.130
  • THE REALITY OF IT.
  • 00:10:18.130 --> 00:10:19.200
  • AND THEN YOU WERE VULNERABLE
  • 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:20.220
  • BECAUSE OF WHERE
  • 00:10:20.220 --> 00:10:21.250
  • YOU PUT YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:10:21.250 --> 00:10:22.270
  • AND I THINK WE'RE ALL --
  • 00:10:24.050 --> 00:10:25.070
  • IT COMES BACK TO BROKENNESS --
  • 00:10:25.070 --> 00:10:26.160
  • WE'RE ALL VERY BROKEN.
  • 00:10:26.160 --> 00:10:27.220
  • AS MUCH AS I MADE
  • 00:10:27.220 --> 00:10:28.260
  • DIFFICULT CHOICES
  • 00:10:28.260 --> 00:10:29.270
  • I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING
  • 00:10:29.270 --> 00:10:31.010
  • SO DEHUMANIZED THEMSELVES
  • 00:10:32.050 --> 00:10:33.090
  • AND OTHERS THAT SOMETHING LIKE
  • 00:10:33.090 --> 00:10:34.280
  • AN UNWANTED SEXUAL ASSAULT
  • 00:10:34.280 --> 00:10:36.110
  • WOULD BE THEIR CHOICE.
  • 00:10:36.110 --> 00:10:37.230
  • THAT JUST SHOWS YOU
  • 00:10:37.230 --> 00:10:38.260
  • THE DEEP LEVEL OF BROKENNESS
  • 00:10:38.260 --> 00:10:40.010
  • AND PAIN THAT PEOPLE ARE IN.
  • 00:10:40.010 --> 00:10:41.150
  • I'VE COME TO A JOURNEY
  • 00:10:41.150 --> 00:10:43.030
  • IN MY HEALING
  • 00:10:43.030 --> 00:10:44.050
  • WHERE I CAN UNDERSTAND
  • 00:10:44.050 --> 00:10:45.100
  • THAT THE PREY ALSO NEEDS
  • 00:10:45.100 --> 00:10:46.180
  • AS MUCH HELP AS THE PREDATOR.
  • 00:10:46.180 --> 00:10:49.030
  • BUT I WENT ON THROUGH
  • 00:10:49.030 --> 00:10:50.080
  • MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE
  • 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:51.120
  • AND THEN DECIDED TO MOVE,
  • 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:52.170
  • TO RUN AWAY,
  • 00:10:52.170 --> 00:10:53.210
  • GET AWAY FROM MY LIFE.
  • 00:10:53.210 --> 00:10:54.270
  • I THOUGHT, GREAT!
  • 00:10:54.270 --> 00:10:56.010
  • I CAN START OVER AGAIN.
  • 00:10:56.010 --> 00:10:57.060
  • NOBODY KNOWS ME.
  • 00:10:57.060 --> 00:10:58.100
  • THEY DON'T HAVE
  • 00:10:58.100 --> 00:10:59.140
  • EXPECTATIONS OF ME.
  • 00:10:59.140 --> 00:11:00.200
  • THEN ONE WEEK BEFORE
  • 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:01.240
  • I WAS ABOUT TO MOVE
  • 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:02.280
  • ACROSS THE COUNTRY
  • 00:11:02.280 --> 00:11:04.020
  • I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT.
  • 00:11:04.020 --> 00:11:05.060
  • I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT,
  • 00:11:05.060 --> 00:11:06.100
  • I JUST WENT INTO FIX-IT MODE.
  • 00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:07.140
  • I WENT INTO LIKE
  • 00:11:07.140 --> 00:11:08.180
  • WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
  • 00:11:08.180 --> 00:11:09.220
  • I MADE AN APPOINTMENT
  • 00:11:09.220 --> 00:11:10.260
  • AT AN ABORTION CLINIC
  • 00:11:10.260 --> 00:11:12.000
  • AND WENT THE NEXT MORNING
  • 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.030
  • AND HAD AN ABORTION.
  • 00:11:13.030 --> 00:11:14.100
  • AND ANOTHER THING
  • 00:11:14.100 --> 00:11:15.200
  • THAT I JUST WAS LIKE,
  • 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:16.260
  • I NEVER WANT
  • 00:11:16.260 --> 00:11:18.000
  • TO TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
  • 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:19.010
  • IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
  • 00:11:19.010 --> 00:11:20.010
  • IN MY LIFE THAT I THOUGHT,
  • 00:11:20.010 --> 00:11:21.010
  • IF I DON'T WAKE UP TOMORROW,
  • 00:11:21.010 --> 00:11:22.040
  • GOD, THAT WOULD BE
  • 00:11:22.040 --> 00:11:23.050
  • MY PREFERENCE.
  • 00:11:23.050 --> 00:11:24.070
  • AND I MOVED
  • 00:11:24.070 --> 00:11:25.080
  • ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
  • 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:26.080
  • FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF MONTHS
  • 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:27.090
  • IT WAS BETTER BECAUSE I FELT
  • 00:11:27.090 --> 00:11:28.110
  • LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYONE,
  • 00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:29.110
  • NOBODY KNOWS ME.
  • 00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:30.110
  • I CAN KIND OF RELAX,
  • 00:11:30.110 --> 00:11:31.110
  • MAYBE FIND A LITTLE FREEDOM.
  • 00:11:31.110 --> 00:11:32.110
  • AND THEN I FOUND OUT
  • 00:11:32.110 --> 00:11:33.120
  • THAT EVERYWHERE YOU GO
  • 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:34.120
  • THERE YOU ARE.
  • 00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:35.140
  • YOU ACTUALLY CAN'T
  • 00:11:35.140 --> 00:11:36.160
  • ESCAPE YOURSELF
  • 00:11:36.160 --> 00:11:37.180
  • AND THE PAIN FOLLOWS YOU.
  • 00:11:37.180 --> 00:11:39.100
  • SO I HAD TO REALLY START
  • 00:11:39.100 --> 00:11:40.160
  • LOOKING IN THE CLOSET
  • 00:11:40.160 --> 00:11:41.200
  • OF MY LIFE AND ACKNOWLEDGING
  • 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:42.210
  • THAT THERE WERE REAL THINGS
  • 00:11:42.210 --> 00:11:44.170
  • THAT I DIDN'T KNOW
  • 00:11:44.170 --> 00:11:45.230
  • HOW TO DEAL WITH
  • 00:11:45.230 --> 00:11:46.280
  • AND I'D NEVER HAD THE TOOLS
  • 00:11:46.280 --> 00:11:47.280
  • AND I HAD TO FIND THEM,
  • 00:11:49.050 --> 00:11:50.070
  • HAD TO FIGURE THAT OUT.
  • 00:11:50.070 --> 00:11:51.120
  • I MET THESE AWESOME BELIEVERS
  • 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:52.150
  • ON MY JOB AND THEY WERE
  • 00:11:52.150 --> 00:11:53.180
  • THE FIRST CHRISTIANS
  • 00:11:53.180 --> 00:11:54.190
  • I HAD EVER MET
  • 00:11:54.190 --> 00:11:55.240
  • THEY WOULD COME OUT WITH ME
  • 00:11:56.290 --> 00:11:57.280
  • FOR COFFEE,
  • 00:11:57.280 --> 00:11:58.290
  • THEY WOULD ASK ME TO DINNER;
  • 00:11:58.290 --> 00:12:00.020
  • EVENTUALLY, I WAS LIKE,
  • 00:12:00.020 --> 00:12:01.010
  • CAN I COME TO CHURCH
  • 00:12:01.010 --> 00:12:02.010
  • WITH YOU?
  • 00:12:02.010 --> 00:12:03.000
  • I HAVE NEVER MET BELIEVERS
  • 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:03.290
  • THIS KIND TO A CRAZY PERSON
  • 00:12:03.290 --> 00:12:04.280
  • LIKE ME.
  • 00:12:04.280 --> 00:12:05.270
  • AND SO THEY WERE WONDERFUL.
  • 00:12:05.270 --> 00:12:06.280
  • I ENDED UP GOING
  • 00:12:06.280 --> 00:12:07.280
  • TO THEIR CHURCH
  • 00:12:07.280 --> 00:12:08.290
  • AND IT WAS THE START
  • 00:12:08.290 --> 00:12:09.290
  • OF MY FAITH COMMUNITY.
  • 00:12:09.290 --> 00:12:10.290
  • I HEARD A WOMAN STAND UP
  • 00:12:10.290 --> 00:12:11.280
  • IN CHURCH AND PREACH.
  • 00:12:11.280 --> 00:12:12.270
  • NOT ONLY DID SHE PREACH
  • 00:12:12.270 --> 00:12:13.270
  • BUT SHE TOLD HER STORY
  • 00:12:13.270 --> 00:12:14.270
  • OF SEXUAL BROKENNESS
  • 00:12:14.270 --> 00:12:15.260
  • AND SHE TALKED ABOUT
  • 00:12:15.260 --> 00:12:16.250
  • THE ABUSE IN HER LIFE.
  • 00:12:16.250 --> 00:12:17.260
  • AND FOR THE FIRST TIME
  • 00:12:17.260 --> 00:12:18.250
  • IN MY LIFE I WAS LIKE [Gasps]
  • 00:12:18.250 --> 00:12:19.250
  • -- WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
  • 00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:20.260
  • AND ALSO,
  • 00:12:20.260 --> 00:12:21.280
  • GOD CARES ABOUT THIS?
  • 00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:23.020
  • AND THERE IS AN INTERSECTION
  • 00:12:23.020 --> 00:12:24.060
  • OF MY PAIN AND MY FAITH?
  • 00:12:24.060 --> 00:12:25.130
  • AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
  • 00:12:25.130 --> 00:12:26.190
  • THAT I JUST ALLOWED MYSELF
  • 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:27.210
  • TO ACCEPT GOD AND TO ALLOW HIM
  • 00:12:27.210 --> 00:12:29.290
  • BACK INTO MY LIFE.
  • 00:12:29.290 --> 00:12:31.070
  • AND JUST SAY, GOD,
  • 00:12:31.070 --> 00:12:32.080
  • YOU KNOW WHAT?
  • 00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:33.070
  • THIS IS WHERE I AM.
  • 00:12:33.070 --> 00:12:34.090
  • I CAN'T FIX IT ANYMORE.
  • 00:12:34.090 --> 00:12:35.110
  • I'M EXHAUSTED.
  • 00:12:35.110 --> 00:12:36.130
  • I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING.
  • 00:12:36.130 --> 00:12:37.150
  • I'M COMING AT YOU AS I AM.
  • 00:12:37.150 --> 00:12:38.230
  • PLEASE MAKE SOMETHING
  • 00:12:38.230 --> 00:12:39.250
  • OF MY LIFE.
  • 00:12:39.250 --> 00:12:40.270
  • AND THEN BEGAN
  • 00:12:40.270 --> 00:12:41.290
  • THE RECOVERY PROCESS
  • 00:12:41.290 --> 00:12:43.040
  • OF THERAPY,
  • 00:12:43.040 --> 00:12:44.040
  • SUPPORT GROUPS, SERVING,
  • 00:12:44.040 --> 00:12:45.050
  • ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS
  • 00:12:45.050 --> 00:12:46.100
  • THAT YOU DO TO WORK THE STEPS.
  • 00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:47.120
  • SO NOW I HAVE
  • 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:48.130
  • 16 YEARS OF SOBRIETY
  • 00:12:48.130 --> 00:12:49.160
  • UNDER MY BELT
  • 00:12:49.160 --> 00:12:50.220
  • WHICH I'M VERY, VERY PROUD OF.
  • 00:12:50.220 --> 00:12:53.070
  • AND MET MY HUSBAND
  • 00:12:53.070 --> 00:12:54.280
  • THROUGH THAT FAITH COMMUNITY.
  • 00:12:54.280 --> 00:12:56.040
  • WE HAVE TWO LITTLE BOYS.
  • 00:12:56.040 --> 00:12:57.260
  • MOVED TO MANHATTAN
  • 00:12:57.260 --> 00:12:59.130
  • WHERE IT'S WILD AND CRAZY.
  • 00:12:59.130 --> 00:13:01.170
  • NOT THAT L.A. WASN'T,
  • 00:13:01.170 --> 00:13:02.190
  • IT'S JUST A DIFFERENT WILD.
  • 00:13:02.190 --> 00:13:03.260
  • AND SO GOD'S DONE SO MUCH.
  • 00:13:03.260 --> 00:13:05.240
  • I DON'T MEAN
  • 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:06.240
  • TO SHRINK THAT DOWN
  • 00:13:06.240 --> 00:13:07.280
  • AS IF THAT WASN'T
  • 00:13:07.280 --> 00:13:09.030
  • A VERY HARD JOURNEY,
  • 00:13:09.030 --> 00:13:10.040
  • AND AS IF IT ISN'T
  • 00:13:10.040 --> 00:13:11.070
  • STILL PAINFUL SOMETIMES
  • 00:13:11.070 --> 00:13:12.110
  • BUT I THINK THAT'S THE POWER
  • 00:13:12.110 --> 00:13:13.110
  • OF TRUTH TELLING
  • 00:13:13.110 --> 00:13:14.150
  • IS THAT IT NEVER ENDS.
  • 00:13:14.150 --> 00:13:15.220
  • TRUTH TELLING IS STRONG
  • 00:13:15.220 --> 00:13:16.250
  • BECAUSE WE HAVE TO TAKE
  • 00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:17.280
  • OUR MASK OFF ALL THE TIME.
  • 00:13:17.280 --> 00:13:19.050
  • LIKE WE NEVER LOSE
  • 00:13:19.050 --> 00:13:20.070
  • THAT TEMPTATION
  • 00:13:20.070 --> 00:13:21.100
  • TO VALUE IMAGE OVER INTEGRITY.
  • 00:13:21.100 --> 00:13:22.130
  • THAT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE
  • 00:13:22.130 --> 00:13:23.160
  • A TEMPTATION FOR ME.
  • 00:13:23.160 --> 00:13:24.190
  • IT WOULD BE A TEMPTATION
  • 00:13:24.190 --> 00:13:25.240
  • FOR ME TO WALK IN PRIDE
  • 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:26.280
  • AND TO NOT REVEAL MYSELF
  • 00:13:26.280 --> 00:13:28.000
  • AS GOD CREATED ME
  • 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:29.050
  • AND NOT TO REVEAL
  • 00:13:29.050 --> 00:13:30.100
  • WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.
  • 00:13:30.100 --> 00:13:31.130
  • BUT I HAVE TO TAKE
  • 00:13:31.130 --> 00:13:32.150
  • THAT COURAGEOUS STEP
  • 00:13:32.150 --> 00:13:33.170
  • TO DO THAT REGULARLY.
  • 00:13:33.170 --> 00:13:34.220
  • I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT
  • 00:13:34.220 --> 00:13:35.220
  • FOR US TO TEACH PEOPLE
  • 00:13:35.220 --> 00:13:36.250
  • HOW TO DO THAT.
  • 00:13:36.250 --> 00:13:38.020
  • James: YOU'VE TOLD YOUR STORY
  • 00:13:38.020 --> 00:13:39.080
  • BEAUTIFULLY HERE.
  • 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:40.130
  • YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY
  • 00:13:40.130 --> 00:13:41.180
  • SAY YOU'VE BEEN WRITING.
  • 00:13:41.180 --> 00:13:42.210
  • YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW
  • 00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:43.240
  • IT COULD REACH THIS PLACE
  • 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:44.260
  • AND THIS POINT BUT IT IS.
  • 00:13:44.260 --> 00:13:46.020
  • WHEN YOU GO OUT
  • 00:13:46.020 --> 00:13:47.090
  • AND YOU SHARE YOUR STORY,
  • 00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:48.250
  • AND LIKE YOU SAID,
  • 00:13:48.250 --> 00:13:50.010
  • NOW IT'S NEARLY 300.000 THAT
  • 00:13:50.010 --> 00:13:51.100
  • HAVE DONE YOUR BIBLE STUDY
  • 00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:52.200
  • THAT YOU PUT ON LINE,
  • 00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:53.250
  • WHICH THAT'S AMAZING!
  • 00:13:53.250 --> 00:13:54.280
  • Ashley: IT'S AMAZING!
  • 00:13:54.280 --> 00:13:56.000
  • IT'S CRAZY!
  • 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.000
  • James: THAT'S THE SAME THING
  • 00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:58.040
  • AS READING 300.000 COPIES
  • 00:13:58.040 --> 00:13:59.100
  • I PRAY THIS GOES UP
  • 00:14:00.170 --> 00:14:01.180
  • HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
  • 00:14:01.180 --> 00:14:02.220
  • AND EVEN WAY PAST THAT.
  • 00:14:02.220 --> 00:14:04.150
  • WHAT ARE YOU SEEING HAPPEN
  • 00:14:04.150 --> 00:14:06.000
  • ON YOUR JOURNEY
  • 00:14:07.140 --> 00:14:08.160
  • AND THEY RELATE
  • 00:14:08.160 --> 00:14:09.240
  • TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
  • 00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:10.280
  • WHAT ARE YOU
  • 00:14:10.280 --> 00:14:12.020
  • WATCHING HAPPENING
  • 00:14:12.020 --> 00:14:13.060
  • THAT ENCOURAGES YOU?
  • 00:14:13.060 --> 00:14:14.100
  • Ashley: I THINK ONE
  • 00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:15.140
  • OF THE MOST POWERFUL THINGS
  • 00:14:15.140 --> 00:14:16.190
  • I SEE HAPPEN
  • 00:14:16.190 --> 00:14:17.230
  • IS THAT WE CAN NORMALIZE
  • 00:14:17.230 --> 00:14:18.290
  • OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCE.
  • 00:14:18.290 --> 00:14:20.010
  • SO I THINK SO OFTEN
  • 00:14:20.010 --> 00:14:21.040
  • WE THINK ABOUT FAITH
  • 00:14:21.040 --> 00:14:22.080
  • IN SUCH SIMPLE TERMS,
  • 00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:25.050
  • AND SOMETIMES THAT'S GREAT,
  • 00:14:25.050 --> 00:14:26.080
  • BUT SOMETIMES
  • 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:27.110
  • WE'RE JUST THINKING
  • 00:14:27.110 --> 00:14:28.150
  • ABOUT VICTORY OUTCOMES OR
  • 00:14:28.150 --> 00:14:29.200
  • ALL THESE DIFFERENT NARRATIVES
  • 00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:30.260
  • AND WE LOSE SORT OF
  • 00:14:30.260 --> 00:14:32.020
  • THE PROCESS THAT IT
  • 00:14:32.020 --> 00:14:33.060
  • ACTUALLY TAKES TO LIVE THIS
  • 00:14:33.060 --> 00:14:34.140
  • RADICAL OPEN HONEST FAITH.
  • 00:14:34.140 --> 00:14:35.150
  • AND SO I THINK WHEN PEOPLE
  • 00:14:35.150 --> 00:14:36.190
  • JOURNEY WITH ME IN MY WRITING
  • 00:14:36.190 --> 00:14:37.210
  • NOT ONLY CAN THEY
  • 00:14:37.210 --> 00:14:38.260
  • NOT ONLY NORMALIZE
  • 00:14:38.260 --> 00:14:40.000
  • THEIR HUMAN EXPERIENCE,
  • 00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:41.010
  • IN YOUR STUFF.
  • 00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:43.030
  • YOU'RE NOT ALONE
  • 00:14:43.030 --> 00:14:44.030
  • IN YOUR ISSUES, YOUR PROBLEMS,
  • 00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:45.090
  • AND YOUR PAIN BUT ALSO,
  • 00:14:45.090 --> 00:14:46.110
  • IT IS A PROCESS
  • 00:14:46.110 --> 00:14:47.160
  • TO BECOMING LIKE GOD.
  • 00:14:47.160 --> 00:14:48.170
  • IN OUR LIVES.
  • 00:14:49.210 --> 00:14:50.230
  • HE DOES NOT WASTE ANYTHING TO
  • 00:14:50.230 --> 00:14:51.270
  • TEACH US HOW TO BE LIKE HIM,
  • 00:14:51.270 --> 00:14:52.280
  • TO TEACH US TO WALK
  • 00:14:52.280 --> 00:14:53.290
  • IN INTEGRITY,
  • 00:14:53.290 --> 00:14:54.280
  • TO TEACH US HOW TO WALK
  • 00:14:54.280 --> 00:14:55.270
  • IN WHOLENESS --
  • 00:14:55.270 --> 00:14:56.260
  • LIKE GOD USES IT ALL.
  • 00:14:56.260 --> 00:14:57.250
  • SO I THINK
  • 00:14:57.250 --> 00:14:59.010
  • THAT'S A VERY VALUABLE THING
  • 00:14:59.010 --> 00:15:00.090
  • THAT I CAN OFFER READERS
  • 00:15:00.090 --> 00:15:01.110
  • AND I'M PROUD OF THAT.
  • 00:15:01.110 --> 00:15:04.010
  • James: I BELIEVE THAT.
  • 00:15:04.010 --> 00:15:05.130
  • YOU HAVE THE GLOW
  • 00:15:05.130 --> 00:15:06.150
  • AND GLORY OF GOD
  • 00:15:06.150 --> 00:15:07.200
  • AND HIS GRACE.
  • 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:08.240
  • IT'S RADIANT IN YOU.
  • 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:10.230
  • YOU COMMUNICATE IT WELL.
  • 00:15:10.230 --> 00:15:11.250
  • DON'T YOU THINK
  • 00:15:11.250 --> 00:15:12.250
  • SHE COMMUNICATES
  • 00:15:12.250 --> 00:15:14.020
  • HER STORY WELL?
  • 00:15:14.020 --> 00:15:15.090
  • AND DON'T YOU
  • 00:15:15.090 --> 00:15:16.170
  • APPRECIATE ASHLEY?
  • 00:15:16.170 --> 00:15:18.010
  • YOU KNOW,
  • 00:15:18.010 --> 00:15:19.080
  • YOU'LL ASK GOD ABOUT THINGS
  • 00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:20.130
  • ALL YOUR LIFE
  • 00:15:20.130 --> 00:15:21.160
  • THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • 00:15:21.160 --> 00:15:22.220
  • OR COMPREHEND.
  • 00:15:22.220 --> 00:15:24.000
  • MOST PEOPLE SAY
  • 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:25.090
  • IF YOU LOSE A CHILD
  • 00:15:25.090 --> 00:15:26.140
  • THAT IT IS AS PERHAPS
  • 00:15:26.140 --> 00:15:27.230
  • AS GREAT A CHALLENGE
  • 00:15:27.230 --> 00:15:28.280
  • AS A PERSON CAN ENDURE
  • 00:15:28.280 --> 00:15:30.000
  • ON THIS EARTH.
  • 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:32.070
  • BETTY AND I LOST A CHILD,
  • 00:15:32.070 --> 00:15:33.120
  • OUR BABY GIRL,
  • 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:34.220
  • AS THE MOTHER OF TEENAGERS,
  • 00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:36.150
  • WHEN WE LOST HER.
  • 00:15:36.150 --> 00:15:37.220
  • AND MANY, MANY TIMES
  • 00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:39.000
  • I'VE SAID, GOD,
  • 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:41.160
  • HOW DID A GIRL THAT BELIEVE
  • 00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:43.010
  • AND HAVE SUCH FAITH,
  • 00:15:43.010 --> 00:15:44.110
  • UNSHAKEABLE FAITH,
  • 00:15:44.110 --> 00:15:45.280
  • HOW IS IT
  • 00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:47.030
  • THAT SHE DIDN'T GET WELL
  • 00:15:47.030 --> 00:15:49.100
  • WHEN SHE TRUSTED SO TOTALLY,
  • 00:15:49.100 --> 00:15:51.100
  • AND WE ALL DID,
  • 00:15:51.100 --> 00:15:52.290
  • AND YET, SHE'S GONE?
  • 00:15:52.290 --> 00:15:55.150
  • AND GOD,
  • 00:15:55.150 --> 00:15:57.060
  • I JUST -- MY HEART IS BROKEN.
  • 00:15:57.060 --> 00:15:58.120
  • HERE'S THE -- YOU DON'T GET
  • 00:15:58.120 --> 00:15:59.220
  • A SATISFACTORY ANSWER.
  • 00:15:59.220 --> 00:16:01.130
  • IN THIS LIFETIME,
  • 00:16:01.130 --> 00:16:02.240
  • YOU DON'T EVER GET
  • 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:03.290
  • THE PAT ANSWER.
  • 00:16:03.290 --> 00:16:05.160
  • BUT HERE'S WHAT
  • 00:16:05.160 --> 00:16:06.280
  • BETTY AND I EXPERIENCED.
  • 00:16:06.280 --> 00:16:08.110
  • BY THE WAY, MANY OF YOU
  • 00:16:08.110 --> 00:16:10.000
  • WHO PRAYED FOR US
  • 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:11.020
  • AND PRAYED FOR OTHERS
  • 00:16:11.020 --> 00:16:12.060
  • IN THEIR CHALLENGED TIMES,
  • 00:16:12.060 --> 00:16:13.100
  • YOU HAVE NO IDEA
  • 00:16:13.100 --> 00:16:15.020
  • THE HEALING POWER
  • 00:16:15.020 --> 00:16:16.130
  • OF THOSE PRAYERS,
  • 00:16:16.130 --> 00:16:17.180
  • IT IS MIRACULOUS.
  • 00:16:17.180 --> 00:16:18.230
  • WHAT GOD DID IS
  • 00:16:18.230 --> 00:16:20.050
  • HE TOOK THIS COUPLE,
  • 00:16:20.050 --> 00:16:21.210
  • AND I KNOW I FELT HIM
  • 00:16:21.210 --> 00:16:23.020
  • HOLDING ME MANY TIMES,
  • 00:16:23.020 --> 00:16:24.150
  • AND SO I'LL ASK HIM, "GOD,
  • 00:16:24.150 --> 00:16:27.010
  • WHY DID WE GO THROUGH THAT?"
  • 00:16:27.250 --> 00:16:30.250
  • AND IT WAS LIKE HE WOULD SAY,
  • 00:16:30.250 --> 00:16:32.120
  • "I KNOW HOW BROKEN
  • 00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:34.150
  • YOUR HEART IS.
  • 00:16:34.150 --> 00:16:36.190
  • I'M HOLDING YOUR BROKEN HEART.
  • 00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:40.120
  • I WANT MY PRESENCE
  • 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:41.290
  • TO HEAL THE BROKEN HEART
  • 00:16:41.290 --> 00:16:43.250
  • WITH THE COMFORT
  • 00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:45.100
  • MY PRESENCE OFFERS.
  • 00:16:45.280 --> 00:16:48.280
  • AND JAMES, DO YOU REALIZE
  • 00:16:48.280 --> 00:16:51.210
  • THAT I WANT TO HOLD
  • 00:16:51.210 --> 00:16:53.030
  • EVERY BROKEN HEART,
  • 00:16:53.030 --> 00:16:55.060
  • EVERY BROKEN LIFE,
  • 00:16:55.060 --> 00:16:57.130
  • EVERYONE THAT
  • 00:16:57.130 --> 00:16:58.240
  • DOESN'T UNDERSTAND?"
  • 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:00.070
  • AND IT'S LIKE HE SAID,
  • 00:17:00.070 --> 00:17:01.260
  • "WOULD YOU HELP OTHERS
  • 00:17:01.260 --> 00:17:03.190
  • UNDERSTAND THAT AS SURELY
  • 00:17:03.190 --> 00:17:05.280
  • AS I HOLD YOU AND BETTY,
  • 00:17:05.280 --> 00:17:08.270
  • AND YOUR FAMILY,
  • 00:17:08.270 --> 00:17:10.100
  • IN ARMS OF LOVE AND COMFORT,
  • 00:17:10.100 --> 00:17:12.190
  • I WANT TO HOLD EVERYONE."
  • 00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:14.260
  • AND ASHLEY,
  • 00:17:14.260 --> 00:17:16.150
  • DON'T YOU WISH EVERYBODY
  • 00:17:16.150 --> 00:17:17.260
  • WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT?
  • 00:17:17.260 --> 00:17:19.060
  • HOW MUCH HE WANTS
  • 00:17:19.060 --> 00:17:20.130
  • TO HOLD THEM.
  • 00:17:20.130 --> 00:17:21.220
  • Ashley: YES!
  • 00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:23.040
  • James: AND IF OUR PAIN,
  • 00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:24.100
  • AND YOU BEING ABLE TO SEE
  • 00:17:24.100 --> 00:17:25.170
  • THAT SOMEHOW WE'VE NOT
  • 00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:27.000
  • JUST ENDURED OR SURVIVED,
  • 00:17:27.060 --> 00:17:30.060
  • BUT WE'VE ACTUALLY
  • 00:17:30.060 --> 00:17:31.150
  • FOUND A PEACE
  • 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:32.270
  • THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING;
  • 00:17:32.270 --> 00:17:34.150
  • NOT SATISFACTORY ANSWERS
  • 00:17:34.150 --> 00:17:36.010
  • TO EVERY QUESTION.
  • 00:17:36.010 --> 00:17:37.150
  • BUT IF WE CAN BE A BLESSING
  • 00:17:37.150 --> 00:17:39.020
  • AND AN INSPIRATION TO YOU
  • 00:17:39.020 --> 00:17:40.270
  • THEN THAT MEANS SO VERY MUCH.
  • 00:17:40.270 --> 00:17:43.030
  • ASHLEY, I THINK THAT'S WHAT
  • 00:17:43.030 --> 00:17:44.180
  • YOU'RE SEEKING TO DO.
  • 00:17:44.180 --> 00:17:46.000
  • THE BOOK IS GREAT!
  • 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:47.110
  • IT IS IN THE BOOKSTORES.
  • 00:17:47.110 --> 00:17:48.170
  • AGAIN, WOULD YOU JUST
  • 00:17:48.170 --> 00:17:49.260
  • TELL THE LORD THANK YOU,
  • 00:17:49.260 --> 00:17:51.040
  • AND ASHLEY, FOR SHARING
  • 00:17:51.040 --> 00:17:52.150
  • THIS STORY NOT ONLY HERE
  • 00:17:52.150 --> 00:17:53.280
  • THERE'S HER WEBSITE AGAIN.
  • 00:17:57.030 --> 00:17:59.030
  • YOU CAN SEE IF YOU WANT
  • 00:17:59.030 --> 00:18:00.140
  • TO CONTACT HER AND SAY,
  • 00:18:00.140 --> 00:18:01.220
  • "WOULD YOU COME SHARE
  • 00:18:01.220 --> 00:18:03.030
  • I BELIEVE SHE WOULD
  • 00:18:04.130 --> 00:18:05.230
  • REALLY BLESS YOU.
  • 00:18:05.230 --> 00:18:07.010
  • ASHLEY, I TOLD YOU
  • 00:18:07.010 --> 00:18:08.140
  • AND OTHERS THAT ARE OUR GUESTS
  • 00:18:08.140 --> 00:18:09.240
  • THAT PEOPLE WILL SEE
  • 00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:11.040
  • ON OUR PROGRAM
  • 00:18:11.040 --> 00:18:12.150
  • THAT WE BELIEVE OUR VIEWERS
  • 00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:13.230
  • ARE THE MOST CHRIST-LIKE
  • 00:18:13.230 --> 00:18:15.030
  • LOVING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
  • 00:18:15.030 --> 00:18:16.120
  • ALL OF OUR MISSION WORKERS,
  • 00:18:16.120 --> 00:18:18.250
  • THEY SAY THAT, THAT YOU ARE
  • 00:18:19.060 --> 00:18:22.060
  • BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT POSSIBLE
  • 00:18:22.060 --> 00:18:23.240
  • FOR THEM TO DO
  • 00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:25.000
  • WHAT SEEMS TO BE IMPOSSIBLE
  • 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:27.000
  • AND THAT'S TO DEMONSTRATE
  • 00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:28.120
  • THE LOVE OF GOD
  • 00:18:28.120 --> 00:18:29.220
  • BUT IN ACTION.
  • 00:18:31.130 --> 00:18:32.220
  • LET ME JUST SAY THIS TO YOU.
  • 00:18:32.220 --> 00:18:33.270
  • THIS IS THE LAST WEEK NOW
  • 00:18:33.270 --> 00:18:35.000
  • WHERE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
  • 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:36.100
  • OUR MISSION FEEDING EMPHASIS
  • 00:18:36.100 --> 00:18:38.080
  • TO 400.000 CHILDREN,
  • 00:18:38.080 --> 00:18:39.240
  • THE MISSIONARIES HAVE FOUND
  • 00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:40.270
  • WHERE THERE IS A SERIOUS
  • 00:18:40.270 --> 00:18:42.090
  • MALNUTRITION SITUATION.
  • 00:18:42.090 --> 00:18:44.170
  • IT'S A CRISIS.
  • 00:18:44.170 --> 00:18:46.210
  • WE'RE ASKING YOU RIGHT NOW
  • 00:18:46.210 --> 00:18:48.240
  • TO HELP US TAKE CARE OF
  • 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:50.030
  • THESE PRECIOUS,
  • 00:18:50.030 --> 00:18:51.070
  • PRECIOUS CHILDREN BECAUSE
  • 00:18:51.070 --> 00:18:52.190
  • MALNUTRITION IS A KILLER.
  • 00:18:52.190 --> 00:18:55.000
  • IT'S A GREATER KILLER
  • 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:56.040
  • THAN ANY DISEASE YOU COULD
  • 00:18:56.040 --> 00:18:57.110
  • EVER NAME OR THINK OF.
  • 00:18:57.110 --> 00:18:59.060
  • IT'S A HORRIBLE DEATH.
  • 00:18:59.060 --> 00:19:00.160
  • IT'S HEARTBREAKING.
  • 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:02.110
  • IT HAS A PERFECT CURE.
  • 00:19:03.170 --> 00:19:06.170
  • YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DELIVERS
  • 00:19:06.170 --> 00:19:08.180
  • THIS MIRACLE,
  • 00:19:08.180 --> 00:19:10.110
  • THIS PERFECT CURE.
  • 00:19:10.110 --> 00:19:12.210
  • ASK GOD TO USE YOU TO DO IT.
  • 00:19:12.290 --> 00:19:15.290
  • WOULD YOU PLEASE
  • 00:19:15.290 --> 00:19:17.110
  • JUST GO AND GET A BANKCARD
  • 00:19:17.110 --> 00:19:20.070
  • OR GET A CHECK?
  • 00:19:20.070 --> 00:19:21.190
  • IF YOU GET A BANKCARD
  • 00:19:21.190 --> 00:19:22.250
  • USE IT LIKE A CHECK.
  • 00:19:22.250 --> 00:19:23.280
  • BUT I WANT TO ASK YOU
  • 00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.040
  • TO DO THIS.
  • 00:19:25.040 --> 00:19:26.090
  • I WANT YOU TO GO ONLINE
  • 00:19:26.090 --> 00:19:27.120
  • OR DIAL THE PHONE NUMBER THERE
  • 00:19:27.120 --> 00:19:28.180
  • THAT'S A PRAYER LINE.
  • 00:19:28.180 --> 00:19:30.050
  • AND WOULD YOU CALL AND SAY,
  • 00:19:30.050 --> 00:19:31.130
  • I'M GOING TO GIVE HOPE
  • 00:19:31.130 --> 00:19:33.150
  • AND LIFE FOR THE NEXT MONTHS
  • 00:19:33.150 --> 00:19:36.000
  • TO AT LEAST TEN CHILDREN
  • 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.170
  • OR FIVE CHILDREN
  • 00:19:37.170 --> 00:19:38.250
  • OR THREE CHILDREN,
  • 00:19:38.250 --> 00:19:40.030
  • WHATEVER YOU CAN DO BECAUSE
  • 00:19:40.030 --> 00:19:41.140
  • WE CAN FEED TEN CHILDREN
  • 00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:42.250
  • FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS
  • 00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:44.100
  • FOR $100;
  • 00:19:44.100 --> 00:19:45.240
  • WE CAN FEED FIVE FOR $50,
  • 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:47.020
  • AND THREE FOR 30.
  • 00:19:47.020 --> 00:19:48.230
  • MAKE A GREAT YEAR-END GIFT.
  • 00:19:48.230 --> 00:19:50.010
  • PLEASE DO IT.
  • 00:19:50.010 --> 00:19:51.280
  • FATHER, DIRECT EVERYONE
  • 00:19:51.280 --> 00:19:53.270
  • TO DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO
  • 00:19:54.260 --> 00:19:57.260
  • AND YOU ENABLE THEM
  • 00:19:57.260 --> 00:19:58.280
  • TO DO IT; IN JESUS' NAME.
  • 00:19:58.280 --> 00:20:00.230
  • MISSION FEEDING BEGAN WITH A PROMISE
  • 00:20:03.210 --> 00:20:05.250
  • TO BE THERE IN TIMES OF CRISIS
  • 00:20:05.280 --> 00:20:07.280
  • FOR THOUSANDS OF HURTING AND HUNGRY CHILDREN
  • 00:20:08.010 --> 00:20:09.280
  • IN THEIR TIME OF NEED.
  • 00:20:10.010 --> 00:20:11.280
  • NOW MORE THAN EVER WE NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE LIVES
  • 00:20:12.010 --> 00:20:14.270
  • BY FEEDING AND CARING FOR CHILDREN
  • 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:16.270
  • ACROSS THE CONTINENT OF AFRICA.
  • 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:18.270
  • WITH FOOD RESERVES GONE
  • 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:20.270
  • AND MANY AREAS EXPERIENCING SEVERE FAMINE,
  • 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:22.280
  • WE URGENTLY NEED TO REPLENISH OUR SUPPLIES
  • 00:20:23.010 --> 00:20:25.160
  • TO REACH THE 400.000 CHILDREN WHO ARE COUNTING ON US.
  • 00:20:25.190 --> 00:20:29.140
  • YOUR GIFT OF LOVE CAN BE THE MIRACLE ANSWER
  • 00:20:29.170 --> 00:20:31.210
  • TO A DESPERATE MOTHER'S PRAYER.
  • 00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:34.060
  • CALL NOW WITH YOUR LIFESAVING GIFT
  • 00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:36.060
  • OF $30, $50 OR $100
  • 00:20:36.090 --> 00:20:38.150
  • THAT WILL HELP FEED AND CARE FOR THREE, FIVE OR TEN CHILDREN
  • 00:20:38.180 --> 00:20:41.270
  • FOR THREE FULL MONTHS.
  • 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:44.050
  • WITH YOUR GIFT, WE'LL SEND YOU
  • 00:20:44.080 --> 00:20:46.050
  • THE "ALTARED" WORSHIP CD BY ANTHONY EVANS.
  • 00:20:46.080 --> 00:20:48.090
  • THIS POWERFUL FULL-LENGTH ALBUM
  • 00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:50.090
  • INCLUDES UNIQUE VERSIONS
  • 00:20:50.120 --> 00:20:52.090
  • OF SOME OF TODAY'S MOST CHERISHED WORSHIP SONGS
  • 00:20:52.120 --> 00:20:54.110
  • THAT ARE SURE TO UPLIFT AND INSPIRE YOU.
  • 00:20:54.140 --> 00:20:57.060
  • WITH YOUR GIFT OF $100 OR MORE PLEASE REQUEST
  • 00:20:57.090 --> 00:20:59.080
  • THE "FILLED WITH FAITH" AND "...JOY TRAVEL MUG SET.
  • 00:20:59.110 --> 00:21:03.030
  • THESE 12-OUNCE MUGS ARE CRAFTED WITH LARGE HANDLES,
  • 00:21:03.060 --> 00:21:05.150
  • DOUBLE-LAYERED INSULATION
  • 00:21:05.180 --> 00:21:07.150
  • AND VACUUM SEALED LIDS TO PREVENT SPILLS.
  • 00:21:07.180 --> 00:21:09.210
  • EACH MUG INCLUDES A MESSAGE TO REMIND YOU
  • 00:21:09.240 --> 00:21:11.210
  • OF GOD'S BLESSINGS AND FAITHFULNESS.
  • 00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:14.090
  • FINALLY, WITH YOUR GIFT OF $1.000 OR MORE
  • 00:21:14.120 --> 00:21:16.220
  • TO HELP FEED AND CARE FOR 100 CHILDREN,
  • 00:21:16.250 --> 00:21:19.000
  • BE SURE TO REQUEST OUR COMMEMORATIVE BRONZE SCULPTURE,
  • 00:21:19.030 --> 00:21:21.160
  • "SAFE IN THE SHEPHERD'S ARMS."
  • 00:21:21.190 --> 00:21:24.100
  • THIS IS THE LAST WEEK!
  • 00:21:24.130 --> 00:21:26.100
  • PLEASE CALL, WRITE, OR MAKE YOUR GIFT ONLINE.
  • 00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:29.220
  • James: IF YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE
  • 00:21:32.030 --> 00:21:35.030
  • ASHLEY'S BOOK,
  • 00:21:35.030 --> 00:21:36.200
  • RISE OF THE TRUTH TELLER ,
  • 00:21:36.200 --> 00:21:37.260
  • YOU SAY,
  • 00:21:37.260 --> 00:21:39.050
  • WOULD YOU SEND IT TO US?
  • 00:21:39.050 --> 00:21:40.120
  • WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU
  • 00:21:40.120 --> 00:21:41.170
  • BE AN ANSWER
  • 00:21:41.170 --> 00:21:42.220
  • TO SOMEBODY'S PRAYER, JAMES.
  • 00:21:42.220 --> 00:21:43.250
  • WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND US
  • 00:21:43.250 --> 00:21:44.280
  • THE BOOK?
  • 00:21:44.280 --> 00:21:46.010
  • I THINK IT COULD HELP US
  • 00:21:46.010 --> 00:21:47.050
  • OR SOMEBODY WE KNOW.
  • 00:21:47.050 --> 00:21:48.080
  • WE'LL BE GLAD TO.
  • 00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:49.090
  • AGAIN,
  • 00:21:49.090 --> 00:21:50.130
  • WOULD YOU JOIN ME AND BETTY
  • 00:21:50.130 --> 00:21:51.150
  • IN SAYING THANKS TO ASHLEY
  • 00:21:51.150 --> 00:21:52.180
  • FOR BLESSING US?
  • 00:21:52.180 --> 00:21:53.210
  • ASHLEY,
  • 00:21:53.210 --> 00:21:54.230
  • WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU.
  • 00:21:54.230 --> 00:21:55.250
  • I PRAY GOD OPENS
  • 00:21:55.250 --> 00:21:56.290
  • A LOT OF DOORS AND JUST
  • 00:21:56.290 --> 00:21:58.050
  • CONTINUES TO BLESS YOU
  • 00:21:58.050 --> 00:21:59.090
  • AND THOSE TWO BOYS
  • 00:21:59.090 --> 00:22:00.150
  • AND YOUR HUSBAND.
  • 00:22:00.150 --> 00:22:01.190
  • THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
  • 00:22:01.190 --> 00:22:02.260
  • REMEMBER, LAST WEEK --
  • 00:22:02.260 --> 00:22:04.000
  • MISSION FEEDING!
  • 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:05.040
  • WE REALLY DO NEED
  • 00:22:05.040 --> 00:22:06.080
  • TO HEAR FROM YOU.
  • 00:22:06.080 --> 00:22:07.120
  • NO PROPER PLACE NO REGAL PALACE
  • 00:22:34.070 --> 00:22:41.150
  • TO RECEIVE A ROYAL BIRTH
  • 00:22:41.180 --> 00:22:48.150
  • GOD'S GIFT OF LOVE WRAPPED IN A BLANKET
  • 00:22:48.180 --> 00:22:55.190
  • WOULD BE HIS WAY TO REACH THE EARTH
  • 00:22:55.220 --> 00:23:03.080
  • A BED OF STRAW BECAME A CRADLE
  • 00:23:03.110 --> 00:23:10.010
  • EMBRACING GOD IN HUMAN FORM
  • 00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:17.110
  • ONE WOULD EXPECT MORE THAN A STABLE
  • 00:23:17.140 --> 00:23:25.100
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB BE BORN?
  • 00:23:25.130 --> 00:23:32.200
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB BE BORN?
  • 00:23:32.230 --> 00:23:40.050
  • NO STATELY HOUSE NO NOBLE MANSION
  • 00:23:43.130 --> 00:23:50.050
  • WHERE HE WOULD REIGN IN MAJESTY
  • 00:23:50.080 --> 00:23:57.130
  • THE PATH HE CHOSE LED TO AN ALTAR
  • 00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:05.020
  • WHERE HE WOULD GIVE HIS LIFE FOR ME
  • 00:24:05.050 --> 00:24:12.110
  • A BED OF STRAW BECAME A CRADLE
  • 00:24:12.140 --> 00:24:19.140
  • EMBRACING GOD IN HUMAN FORM
  • 00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:26.080
  • ONE WOULD EXPECT MORE THAN A STABLE
  • 00:24:26.110 --> 00:24:34.000
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB BE BORN?
  • 00:24:34.030 --> 00:24:41.280
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB BE BORN?
  • 00:24:42.010 --> 00:24:48.220
  • HE IS THE GREAT I AM
  • 00:24:50.190 --> 00:24:54.040
  • THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB
  • 00:24:54.070 --> 00:24:56.250
  • WHO TAKES AWAY THE SINS OF THE WORLD
  • 00:24:56.280 --> 00:25:07.000
  • THE BED OF STRAW BECAME HIS CRADLE
  • 00:25:18.110 --> 00:25:26.020
  • EMBRACING GOD IN HUMAN FORM
  • 00:25:26.050 --> 00:25:32.280
  • ONE WOULD EXPECT MORE THAN A STABLE
  • 00:25:33.010 --> 00:25:40.230
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB BE BORN?
  • 00:25:40.260 --> 00:25:51.230
  • BUT WHERE ELSE WOULD A LAMB
  • 00:25:51.260 --> 00:26:02.100
  • BE BORN?
  • 00:26:02.130 --> 00:26:09.040
  • Announcer: ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR FAMILY
  • 00:26:22.060 --> 00:26:24.070
  • BEING ILL-EQUIPPED TO MANAGE RESOURCES WHEN YOU PASS AWAY?
  • 00:26:24.100 --> 00:26:27.040
  • DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE A LEGACY GIFT
  • 00:26:27.070 --> 00:26:29.060
  • THAT IMPACTS THE LIVES OF OTHERS?
  • 00:26:29.090 --> 00:26:31.100
  • AS A FREE SERVICE TO OUR FRIENDS AND PARTNERS,
  • 00:26:31.130 --> 00:26:33.100
  • LIFE PLANNING SERVICES ,
  • 00:26:33.130 --> 00:26:35.110
  • A MINISTRY OF LIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL
  • 00:26:35.140 --> 00:26:37.120
  • IS HERE TO HELP WITH YOUR ESTATE PLANNING NEEDS
  • 00:26:37.150 --> 00:26:39.130
  • AND CHART YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE.
  • 00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:41.150
  • DO NOT PUT OFF THIS IMPORTANT STEP
  • 00:26:41.180 --> 00:26:43.170
  • TO PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES AND LEAVE A LASTING LEGACY!
  • 00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:46.240
  • CONTACT LIFE PLANNING SERVICES TODAY!
  • 00:26:46.270 --> 00:26:50.040
  • IF YOU'RE IN THE DALLAS/FORT WORTH AREA,
  • 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:53.010
  • COME BE A PART OF THE LIFE TODAY STUDIO AUDIENCE.
  • 00:26:53.040 --> 00:26:55.230
  • GO TO:
  • 00:26:55.260 --> 00:26:59.020
  • TOMORROW ON LIFE TODAY!
  • 00:27:02.090 --> 00:27:04.110
  • JAMES AND BETTY HELP YOU CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS
  • 00:27:04.140 --> 00:27:06.150
  • WITH SPECIAL MUSIC FROM SHEILA WALSH,
  • 00:27:06.180 --> 00:27:08.170
  • 4HIM'S MARK HARRIS, ANTHONY EVANS AND MORE.
  • 00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:11.240
  • LIFE TODAY IS MADE POSSIBLE BY THE SUPPORTERS OF LIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL.
  • 00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:16.040
  • YOUR GIFT WILL BE USED EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE EXEMPT PURPOSES OF LIFE.
  • 00:27:16.070 --> 00:27:19.070
  • THE MINISTRY FEATURES SPECIFIC OUTREACHES
  • 00:27:19.100 --> 00:27:21.090
  • AS EXAMPLES OF THE PROGRAMS IT SUPPORTS AND CONDUCTS.
  • 00:27:21.120 --> 00:27:23.110
  • GIFTS ARE CONSIDERED TO BE WITHOUT RESTRICTION
  • 00:27:23.140 --> 00:27:25.130
  • AS TO USE UNLESS EXPLICITLY STIPULATED BY THE DONOR.
  • 00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:27.170
  • THE MINISTRY IS A MEMBER OF THE E.C.F.A.
  • 00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.270