Mentorship | TBN

Mentorship

Watch Mentorship
April 24, 2019
27:31

Taking Care of Business

Closed captions

Mentorship

Show timecode
Hide timecode
  • - MORE THAN 3/4 OF AMERICANS SAY
  • 00:00:00.290 --> 00:00:03.170
  • THAT WE NEED MORE MENTORING.
  • 00:00:03.190 --> 00:00:06.270
  • AND EIGHT IN TEN SAY THAT WE NEED GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT
  • 00:00:06.290 --> 00:00:11.020
  • IN MENTORING, THAT THEY'RE WILLING TO KIND OF
  • 00:00:11.040 --> 00:00:12.210
  • PUT THEIR MONEY WHERE THEIR MOUTH IS
  • 00:00:12.230 --> 00:00:14.060
  • AND SAY THAT THIS IS A VALUE PROVIDER FOR OUR COMMUNITIES.
  • 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:20.280
  • I DON'T KNOW THAT WE COULD FIND EIGHT IN TEN AMERICANS
  • 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:23.190
  • TO AGREE ON ANYTHING, FRANKLY.
  • 00:00:23.210 --> 00:00:27.030
  • - DOESN'T EVERY CHILD DESERVE THAT IN THEIR LIFE?
  • 00:00:27.050 --> 00:00:30.110
  • SOMEBODY WHO THINKS EVERY SINGLE THING THEY DO,
  • 00:00:30.130 --> 00:00:33.120
  • WHO FINDS THE BRIGHT SPOT IN ALL THEIR EFFORTS,
  • 00:00:33.140 --> 00:00:36.050
  • AND I THINK THAT'S A UNIQUE PLACE THAT A BIG BROTHER
  • 00:00:36.070 --> 00:00:38.170
  • OR A BIG SISTER CAN BE.
  • 00:00:38.190 --> 00:00:40.150
  • - TIA AND I CLICKED AS SOON AS WE MET,
  • 00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:43.090
  • I FELT AN INSTANT CONNECTION TO HER AND TO HER FAMILY,
  • 00:00:43.110 --> 00:00:47.070
  • AND IT'S BEEN A JOY TO BE A PART OF HER LIFE SINCE THEN.
  • 00:00:47.090 --> 00:00:50.160
  • - AND HAVING THAT INSTANT CLICK WITH SOMEONE,
  • 00:00:50.180 --> 00:00:52.140
  • IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME.
  • 00:00:52.160 --> 00:00:54.280
  • AS SOMEONE LIKE, I'M AN OPEN PERSON BUT LIKE,
  • 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:58.230
  • I KIND OF HAVE LIKE, TRUST ISSUES.
  • 00:00:58.250 --> 00:01:01.020
  • SO I FELT REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH HER FROM THE START.
  • 00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:05.140
  • - BUT THERE'S FORTY SEVEN YEARS DIFFERENCE IN OUR AGE,
  • 00:01:05.160 --> 00:01:08.000
  • YOU THINK, HOW DO TWO PEOPLE CONNECT
  • 00:01:08.020 --> 00:01:10.010
  • WITH THAT MUCH SPACE BETWEEN THEM, IN TERMS OF LIFE?
  • 00:01:10.030 --> 00:01:12.180
  • - STU, HE'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE, A STABILITY LIKE,
  • 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:15.010
  • I ALWAYS KNOW HE'S GONNA BE THERE FOR ME
  • 00:01:15.030 --> 00:01:17.160
  • NO MATTER WHAT LIKE, YEAH.
  • 00:01:17.180 --> 00:01:19.150
  • EVERY HOUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH, HE'S BEEN THERE WITH ME,
  • 00:01:19.170 --> 00:01:22.200
  • IT'S JUST, IT'S NICE HAVING HIM.
  • 00:01:22.220 --> 00:01:25.030
  • - IF YOU ASK SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS,
  • 00:01:25.050 --> 00:01:27.080
  • YOU'RE LIKELY TO HEAR ABOUT AN INFLUENTIAL MENTOR.
  • 00:01:27.100 --> 00:01:30.040
  • WHETHER IT'S PROFESSIONAL, PERSONAL, OR SPIRITUAL.
  • 00:01:30.060 --> 00:01:33.100
  • MENTORING IS OFTEN A CATALYST
  • 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:34.290
  • FOR GROWTH AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
  • 00:01:35.010 --> 00:01:37.150
  • REGARDLESS OF THE CONTEXT, MENTORS OFFER STEADY SUPPORT,
  • 00:01:37.170 --> 00:01:41.240
  • HOPE, WISE GUIDANCE, EXPERIENCE, AND CRITICAL ENCOURAGEMENT.
  • 00:01:41.260 --> 00:01:47.250
  • NOW WE UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS OF MENTORING YOUNG PEOPLE
  • 00:01:47.270 --> 00:01:51.010
  • AND WHEN WE HEAR THE POWERFUL STORIES OF TEENS WHOSE LIVES
  • 00:01:51.030 --> 00:01:54.260
  • HAVE BEEN CHANGED BY A SINGLE, CARING ADULT.
  • 00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:58.110
  • IF YOU LISTEN, THOSE STORIES ARE EVERYWHERE YOU TURN.
  • 00:01:58.130 --> 00:02:02.160
  • LIKE ME, YOU LIKELY HAVE A STORY
  • 00:02:02.180 --> 00:02:04.220
  • OF A MENTOR FROM YOUR OWN YOUTH.
  • 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:07.030
  • I'M KELLY WRIGHT, AND YOUTH MENTORING IS OUR TOPIC TODAY
  • 00:02:07.050 --> 00:02:11.000
  • AS WE'RE TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.
  • 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:13.130
  • (LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC)
  • 00:02:13.150 --> 00:02:20.210
  • TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
  • 00:02:20.230 --> 00:02:24.130
  • TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
  • 00:02:24.150 --> 00:02:36.150
  • - SO, MENTORING CAN HAPPEN IN LOTS OF DIFFERENT FORMS.
  • 00:02:36.170 --> 00:02:41.080
  • BUT ESSENTIALLY, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT YOUTH MENTORING,
  • 00:02:41.100 --> 00:02:44.190
  • WE MEAN SHOWING UP FOR A YOUNG PERSON CONSISTENTLY.
  • 00:02:44.210 --> 00:02:50.000
  • BEING PRESENT, NOT BEING PERFECT.
  • 00:02:50.020 --> 00:02:52.070
  • SHOWING UP FOR THEM, SOME OF THE HALLMARKS OF GOOD MENTORING
  • 00:02:52.090 --> 00:02:56.100
  • IS LISTENING, ACCESSIBILITY, PRESENCE, RELIABILITY...
  • 00:02:56.120 --> 00:03:04.160
  • - SOMETHING EARLIER, BECAUSE I FORGOT MY BOOK IN ENGLISH,
  • 00:03:04.180 --> 00:03:06.180
  • MY TEACHER WAS LIKE: "READ THIS BOOK ABOUT PHOBIAS."
  • 00:03:06.200 --> 00:03:11.010
  • SO I READ THIS BOOK ABOUT PHOBIAS...
  • 00:03:11.030 --> 00:03:12.280
  • - I REALLY FELT THAT I NEEDED TO BE MORE INVOLVED
  • 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:15.280
  • IN GIVING BACK TO MY COMMUNITY AS PART OF MY LIFE.
  • 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.200
  • AND I HAD SPENT A LOT OF TIME GOING TO SCHOOL FOR MYSELF
  • 00:03:18.220 --> 00:03:22.280
  • AND FOCUSING ON A CAREER FOR MYSELF AND I WANTED
  • 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.140
  • MY YEAR OF 2017 TO BE MORE ABOUT
  • 00:03:26.160 --> 00:03:29.220
  • WHAT I WAS DOING FOR OTHERS, OTHER THAN MYSELF.
  • 00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:33.050
  • AND THAT FOR ME, WANTED TO INCLUDE MENTORING
  • 00:03:33.070 --> 00:03:37.160
  • BECAUSE I AM AN ONLY CHILD AND DON'T HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY
  • 00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:41.080
  • TO MENTOR WITHIN MY OWN FAMILY AS FAR AS PASSING ON
  • 00:03:41.100 --> 00:03:44.190
  • WHATEVER NUGGETS OF INFORMATION I MAY HAVE
  • 00:03:44.210 --> 00:03:46.230
  • TO THE NEXT GENERATION.
  • 00:03:46.250 --> 00:03:48.100
  • - ONE IN THREE YOUNG PEOPLE WILL GROW UP IN THIS COUNTRY
  • 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:51.040
  • WITHOUT A MENTOR OUTSIDE THEIR FAMILY,
  • 00:03:51.060 --> 00:03:53.100
  • SOMEONE THAT THEY CAN NAME OUTSIDE OF THEIR MOM, THEIR DAD,
  • 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:56.290
  • THEIR UNCLES, THEIR AUNTS.
  • 00:03:57.010 --> 00:03:59.170
  • SOMEONE THAT THEY COULD RELY ON AND COUNT ON.
  • 00:03:59.190 --> 00:04:02.210
  • SO THAT IS ABOUT NINE MILLION YOUNG PEOPLE.
  • 00:04:02.230 --> 00:04:06.110
  • - WE FEEL THAT EVERY SINGLE CHILD HAS POTENTIAL,
  • 00:04:06.130 --> 00:04:09.270
  • AND THAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHILDREN WHO COME FROM
  • 00:04:09.290 --> 00:04:16.010
  • CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE THEY DON'T KNOW CHALLENGES AND OTHERS,
  • 00:04:16.030 --> 00:04:20.170
  • IS THE PRESENCE OF A CARING ADULT IN THEIR LIVES.
  • 00:04:20.190 --> 00:04:23.230
  • - MENTOR: THE NATIONAL MENTORING PARTNERSHIP
  • 00:04:23.250 --> 00:04:26.010
  • IS THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION HELPING TO LEAD, ELEVATE,
  • 00:04:26.030 --> 00:04:30.160
  • AND UNIFY THE YOUTH MENTORING MOVEMENT NATIONWIDE.
  • 00:04:30.180 --> 00:04:34.160
  • WE HAVE TWENTY SIX AND COUNTING LOCAL AFFILIATES
  • 00:04:34.180 --> 00:04:38.140
  • WHO ARE BOOTS ON THE GROUND WHO SERVE
  • 00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:41.060
  • LOCAL MENTORING PROGRAMS IN THEIR COMMUNITIES.
  • 00:04:41.080 --> 00:04:44.030
  • - BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS IS AN ORGANIZATION
  • 00:04:44.050 --> 00:04:46.220
  • THAT PAIRS VOLUNTEERS ONE-TO-ONE
  • 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:49.280
  • WITH CHILDREN WHO ARE FACING ADVERSITY.
  • 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.000
  • THE VOLUNTEERS DEFEND THE CHILD'S POTENTIAL
  • 00:04:53.020 --> 00:04:55.260
  • THROUGH THEIR WEEKLY ACTIVITIES AND THEIR LONG-TERM GOALS.
  • 00:04:55.280 --> 00:04:59.240
  • THERE'S A LOT OF INFORMATION OUT NOW
  • 00:04:59.260 --> 00:05:01.210
  • ABOUT TRAUMA-INFORMED CARE, ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES,
  • 00:05:01.230 --> 00:05:06.080
  • AND WHAT THAT CAN REALLY DO LONG-TERM; IT CAN HAVE
  • 00:05:06.100 --> 00:05:08.220
  • PHYSICAL EFFECTS ON CHILDREN, IT CAN HAVE EFFECTS
  • 00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:12.170
  • THAT IMPAIR THEIR SCHOOLWORK, THEIR PROGRESS TOWARDS
  • 00:05:12.190 --> 00:05:15.260
  • CAREER AND JUST THEIR OWN SELF-WORTH.
  • 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:18.110
  • SO HAVING A BIG BROTHER OR BIG SISTER IN THEIR LIFE,
  • 00:05:18.130 --> 00:05:21.190
  • WHO IS REALLY THEIR ADVOCATE, THEIR GUARDIAN ANGEL
  • 00:05:21.210 --> 00:05:24.150
  • ON THEIR SHOULDER AT ALL TIMES, WHO THROUGH FUN
  • 00:05:24.170 --> 00:05:30.010
  • AND SOMETIMES SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS
  • 00:05:30.030 --> 00:05:32.050
  • REALLY GUIDE THEN IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
  • 00:05:32.070 --> 00:05:34.250
  • - ALL RIM.
  • 00:05:34.270 --> 00:05:36.090
  • (LAUGHS)
  • 00:05:36.110 --> 00:05:37.080
  • - RIGHT THERE!
  • 00:05:37.100 --> 00:05:38.220
  • WHEN I FIRST SIGNED UP, OBVIOUSLY I'M NERVOUS
  • 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:40.180
  • 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT YOU KNOW,
  • 00:05:40.200 --> 00:05:42.180
  • IS THE KID GONNA LIKE YOU, ARE YOU GONNA GET ALONG?
  • 00:05:42.200 --> 00:05:45.060
  • AND SO I WAS REALLY A LITTLE APPREHENSIVE AT THAT POINT,
  • 00:05:45.080 --> 00:05:47.250
  • OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK
  • 00:05:47.270 --> 00:05:48.290
  • AND GO THROUGH THE BACKGROUND CHECK.
  • 00:05:49.010 --> 00:05:50.200
  • BUT YOU KNOW I PRAY A LOT, AND I PRAY Y'KNOW,
  • 00:05:50.220 --> 00:05:52.070
  • "LORD SEND ME THE RIGHT PERSON."
  • 00:05:52.090 --> 00:05:54.060
  • SO WHEN I GOT THE PHONE CALL THEY GO,
  • 00:05:54.080 --> 00:05:55.190
  • "WELL, Y'KNOW THIS KID IS HAS ADHD Y'KNOW,
  • 00:05:55.210 --> 00:05:58.130
  • HE COMES FROM A BROKEN HOME, HE'S THIS, HE'S THAT.
  • 00:05:58.150 --> 00:06:01.130
  • I SAID "THAT'S THE KID, THAT'S THE ONE I WANT."
  • 00:06:01.150 --> 00:06:03.110
  • I DON'T WANT THE PERFECT KID, I WANT THE KID THAT,
  • 00:06:03.130 --> 00:06:05.210
  • THAT I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN HIS LIFE.
  • 00:06:05.230 --> 00:06:08.000
  • - I'M A FOSTER CHILD, AND THEN SO,
  • 00:06:08.020 --> 00:06:10.070
  • MY MOM, SHE LIVES IN TENNESSEE AND MY DAD IS IN PRISON.
  • 00:06:10.090 --> 00:06:13.100
  • - ABOUT 30-50% OF OUR CHILDREN, DEPENDING ON
  • 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.230
  • THE COUNTY THEY'RE IN, HAVE ONE OR MORE PARENTS IN PRISON.
  • 00:06:16.250 --> 00:06:21.290
  • AND THAT'S DUE TO A VARIETY OF THINGS.
  • 00:06:22.010 --> 00:06:25.010
  • SOMETIMES IT'S UNFORTUNATELY GENERATIONAL,
  • 00:06:25.030 --> 00:06:28.000
  • THAT THERE HAVE BEEN CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE
  • 00:06:28.020 --> 00:06:31.200
  • HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME FACILITY AT THE SAME TIME.
  • 00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:33.240
  • WELL WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE CHILDREN?
  • 00:06:33.260 --> 00:06:36.170
  • AND WHAT DOES THAT LABELING, WHAT DOES THAT PATHWAY
  • 00:06:36.190 --> 00:06:39.290
  • AND LEGACY LEAVE FOR THEM?
  • 00:06:40.010 --> 00:06:42.160
  • AND SO IT'S IMPORTANT TO INTERRUPT THAT PATTEN.
  • 00:06:42.180 --> 00:06:45.230
  • IT'S IMPORTANT FOR THAT CHILD TO SEE SOMEBODY ELSE
  • 00:06:45.250 --> 00:06:49.140
  • WHO HAS CONFIDENCE IN THEM, WHO HAS
  • 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:52.120
  • DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS FOR THEM.
  • 00:06:52.140 --> 00:06:54.290
  • - I WANT HIM TO FIRST OF ALL, GET AN EDUCATION.
  • 00:06:55.010 --> 00:06:58.010
  • BECAUSE THAT'S THE BIGGEST DEFENSE WE HAVE AGAINST
  • 00:06:58.030 --> 00:07:01.170
  • STREET VIOLENCE, CRIME, BROKEN FAMILIES IS,
  • 00:07:01.190 --> 00:07:04.040
  • WE HAVE TO PUSH EDUCATION.
  • 00:07:04.060 --> 00:07:05.150
  • HE KNOWS THAT, I'M CONSTANTLY ON ABOUT HIS GRADES,
  • 00:07:05.170 --> 00:07:07.120
  • HIS GRADES ARE GETTING BETTER.
  • 00:07:07.140 --> 00:07:09.000
  • BUT IT'S HARD FOR HIM TO GET GRADES WHEN HE'S
  • 00:07:09.020 --> 00:07:10.190
  • IN A SITUATION WHERE HE'S MOVING FROM HOME TO HOME.
  • 00:07:10.210 --> 00:07:12.290
  • SO I KNEW I COULD ONLY PUSH SO FAR.
  • 00:07:13.010 --> 00:07:15.080
  • BUT NOW, HE HAS THE EXPECTATION, PEOPLE EXPECT HIM
  • 00:07:15.100 --> 00:07:18.030
  • TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL, HIS FOSTER PARENTS AND ME.
  • 00:07:18.050 --> 00:07:21.160
  • - HE'S BEEN HELPING ME WITH MY GRADES AND ALL THAT,
  • 00:07:21.180 --> 00:07:23.140
  • HELPING ME BRING THEM BACK UP, AND THEN,
  • 00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:26.260
  • HE GIVES ME A WHOLE LOT OF GOOD ADVICE.
  • 00:07:26.280 --> 00:07:28.270
  • - WHAT WE KNOW SPECIFICALLY ABOUT YOUTH MENTORING
  • 00:07:28.290 --> 00:07:30.280
  • IS THAT IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE
  • 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.000
  • THE SINGLE MOST POSITIVE DEVELOPMENTAL FACTOR
  • 00:07:33.020 --> 00:07:36.020
  • IN A YOUNG PERSON'S LIFE.
  • 00:07:36.040 --> 00:07:37.250
  • A FIVE YEAR STUDY SPONSORED BY BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS,
  • 00:07:37.270 --> 00:07:40.260
  • FOUND THAT CHILDREN WITH MENTORS WERE MORE CONFIDENT
  • 00:07:40.280 --> 00:07:44.060
  • AND HAD FEWER BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS.
  • 00:07:44.080 --> 00:07:46.200
  • GIRLS IN THE STUDY WERE FOUR TIMES LESS LIKELY
  • 00:07:46.220 --> 00:07:49.140
  • TO BECOME BULLIES THEN THOSE WITHOUT A MENTOR
  • 00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:52.080
  • AND BOYS WERE TWO TIMES LESS LIKELY.
  • 00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:54.270
  • IN GENERAL, YOUNG PEOPLE SHOWED INCREASED BELIEF
  • 00:07:54.290 --> 00:07:58.040
  • IN THEIR ABILITIES TO SUCCEED IN SCHOOL
  • 00:07:58.060 --> 00:08:01.010
  • AND FELT LESS ANXIETY RELATED TO PEER PRESSURE.
  • 00:08:01.030 --> 00:08:04.270
  • IF YOU CARE DEEPLY ABOUT THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS
  • 00:08:04.290 --> 00:08:07.030
  • OF THE NEXT GENERATION, YOUTH MENTORSHIP MIGHT BE
  • 00:08:07.050 --> 00:08:10.130
  • THE MOST IMPORTANT GIFT YOU COULD EVER GIVE.
  • 00:08:10.150 --> 00:08:13.090
  • - I REMEMBER THAT THEIR, THE METRICS THAT THEY SHOWED US
  • 00:08:13.110 --> 00:08:16.230
  • DURING ORIENTATION, SHOWED THAT AFTER A YEAR
  • 00:08:16.250 --> 00:08:20.180
  • WITH A MATCH, CHILDREN WERE RESPONDING IN SOMEWHERE,
  • 00:08:20.200 --> 00:08:24.200
  • 85, 90% REPORTING STRONGER SELF-CONFIDENCE,
  • 00:08:24.220 --> 00:08:28.210
  • STRONGER ABILITY IN SCHOOL, THINGS THAT ARE MEASURABLE
  • 00:08:28.230 --> 00:08:32.020
  • AND CAN IMPACT THEM IN THEIR DAILY LIFE, AND SOMETHING
  • 00:08:32.040 --> 00:08:34.210
  • THAT COULD IMPACT THEM MOVING FORWARD, NOT JUST IN
  • 00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:36.260
  • THEIR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE BUT COUD
  • 00:08:36.280 --> 00:08:38.000
  • IMPACT THEM FOR THE FUTURE.
  • 00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:39.120
  • AND THOSE KINDS OF THINGS WHERE YOU COULD ACTUALLY
  • 00:08:39.140 --> 00:08:41.120
  • SEE A TANGIBLE, MEASURABLE IMPACT
  • 00:08:41.140 --> 00:08:43.240
  • WERE REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
  • 00:08:43.260 --> 00:08:45.070
  • - SO A YOUNG PERSON WITH A MENTOR IS MORE LIKELY
  • 00:08:45.090 --> 00:08:47.220
  • TO STAY IN SCHOOL, LESS LIKELY TO SKIP A DAY OF SCHOOL,
  • 00:08:47.240 --> 00:08:51.060
  • MORE LIKELY TO HOLD LEADERSHIP POSITIONS,
  • 00:08:51.080 --> 00:08:53.140
  • MORE LIKELY TO VOLUNTEER IN THEIR COMMUNITIES,
  • 00:08:53.160 --> 00:08:55.230
  • AND MORE LIKELY TO BECOME A MENTOR THEMSELVES.
  • 00:08:55.250 --> 00:08:58.120
  • WHICH I THINK JUST REALLY SPEAKS
  • 00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:00.160
  • TO THE POWER OF MENTORING, RIGHT?
  • 00:09:00.180 --> 00:09:02.090
  • MENTORING BEGETS MENTORING, WHEN YOU HAVE THAT QUALITY
  • 00:09:02.110 --> 00:09:04.170
  • OF RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON,
  • 00:09:04.190 --> 00:09:07.010
  • AND WHO SEES SOMETHING IN YOU THAT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SEE,
  • 00:09:07.030 --> 00:09:09.160
  • YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO PAY IT FORWARD
  • 00:09:09.180 --> 00:09:12.050
  • AND GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY AS WELL.
  • 00:09:12.070 --> 00:09:14.110
  • - WE DON'T HAVE TO FIND OUR YOUNG PEOPLE,
  • 00:09:14.130 --> 00:09:16.170
  • THEY COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK.
  • 00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:18.090
  • IT'S A CHALLENGE BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
  • 00:09:18.110 --> 00:09:21.150
  • IT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST AFFIRMATIONS OUR
  • 00:09:21.170 --> 00:09:23.000
  • PROGRAM CAN HAVE,
  • 00:09:23.020 --> 00:09:25.010
  • THAT FAMILIES WILL LITERALLY WAIT MONTHS, EVEN YEARS
  • 00:09:25.030 --> 00:09:28.090
  • TO GET A BIG BROTHER OR BIG SISTER, AND I THINK THAT
  • 00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:31.060
  • THAT'S BASED ON OUR RISK MANAGEMENT;
  • 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:34.280
  • PARENTS FEEL COMFORTABLE THAT WE'RE GONNA DO
  • 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:37.010
  • EVERYTHING WE CAN TO SCREEN THAT VOLUNTEER
  • 00:09:37.030 --> 00:09:40.150
  • AND TO ENSURE THAT IT'S A SAFE RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:09:40.170 --> 00:09:43.190
  • BUT ALSO THAT THE VOLUNTEER IS VERY INTENTIONAL
  • 00:09:43.210 --> 00:09:47.030
  • ABOUT MAKING THE TIME AND MAKING THAT COMMITMENT.
  • 00:09:47.050 --> 00:09:50.130
  • - MY MOM CAME UP TO ME ONE DAY, SHE WAS LIKE,
  • 00:09:50.150 --> 00:09:52.180
  • "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I GOT YOU A MENTOR?"
  • 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:55.060
  • AND I WAS LIKE, "THAT'D BE FINE."
  • 00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:57.010
  • I WAS LIKE, "THAT'D BE COOL, THAT'D BE GREAT!"
  • 00:09:57.030 --> 00:09:58.170
  • I THINK SHE WANTED ME TO HAVE A MENTOR
  • 00:09:58.190 --> 00:10:01.140
  • BECAUSE MY MOM IS MY BEST FRIEND.
  • 00:10:01.160 --> 00:10:04.210
  • SHE MEANS A WHOLE LOT TO ME.
  • 00:10:04.230 --> 00:10:06.030
  • SHE'S CONSTANTLY TELLING ME ADVICE ABOUT LIFE
  • 00:10:06.050 --> 00:10:10.290
  • AND WHAT I NEED TO DO AND THING LIKE THAT,
  • 00:10:11.010 --> 00:10:13.020
  • WHICH IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:10:13.040 --> 00:10:14.050
  • SHE SAID, "MAYBE YOU NEED TO HEAR THAT
  • 00:10:14.070 --> 00:10:15.090
  • "FROM SOMEONE DIFFERENT, OTHER THAN ME."
  • 00:10:15.110 --> 00:10:17.190
  • - TIA AND I CLICKED AS SOON AS WE MET,
  • 00:10:17.210 --> 00:10:20.110
  • I FELT AN INSTANT CONNECTION TO HER AND TO HER FAMILY,
  • 00:10:20.130 --> 00:10:24.130
  • AND IT'S BEEN A JOY TO BE A PART OF HER LIFE SINCE THEN.
  • 00:10:24.150 --> 00:10:28.190
  • - (LAUGHS) IT'S LIKE, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING
  • 00:10:28.210 --> 00:10:32.030
  • BUT I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BECAUSE...
  • 00:10:32.050 --> 00:10:36.000
  • HAVING THAT INSTANT CLICK WITH SOMEONE,
  • 00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:37.240
  • IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME AS SOMEONE LIKE,
  • 00:10:37.260 --> 00:10:40.080
  • I'M AN OPEN PERSON BUT LIKE, I KIND OF HAVE
  • 00:10:40.100 --> 00:10:43.290
  • LIKE, TRUST ISSUES, SO I FELT REALLY COMFORTABLE
  • 00:10:44.010 --> 00:10:47.210
  • WITH HER FROM THE START.
  • 00:10:47.230 --> 00:10:49.130
  • - MENTORING CAN HAPPEN IN LOTS OF DIFFERENT FORMS
  • 00:10:49.150 --> 00:10:53.070
  • BUT ESSENTIALLY, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT YOUTH MENTORING,
  • 00:10:53.090 --> 00:10:56.170
  • WE MEAN SHOWING UP FOR A YOUNG PERSON CONSISTENTLY,
  • 00:10:56.190 --> 00:11:02.020
  • BEING PRESENT, NOT BEING PERFECT, SHOWING UP FOR THEM,
  • 00:11:02.040 --> 00:11:06.020
  • SOME OF THE HALLMARKS OF GOOD MENTORING IS LISTENING,
  • 00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:10.200
  • ACCESSIBILITY, PRESENCE, RELIABILITY.
  • 00:11:10.220 --> 00:11:16.170
  • - I REMEMBER I THOUGHT THAT MY BIG HAD BEEN
  • 00:11:16.190 --> 00:11:20.200
  • LIKE AN ALL A STUDENT, AND WE TALKING, SHE WAS LIKE, "NO."
  • 00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:24.000
  • SHE SAID, "I DID OKAY IN SCHOOL."
  • 00:11:24.020 --> 00:11:27.010
  • SHE SAID "I GOT A FEW CS HERE AND THERE."
  • 00:11:27.030 --> 00:11:28.270
  • AND I'M LIKE "OH REALLY?"
  • 00:11:28.290 --> 00:11:30.190
  • SHE KIND OF REMINDED ME LIKE, "I'M A PERSON, JUST LIKE YOU.
  • 00:11:30.210 --> 00:11:33.110
  • "I'M NOT PERFECT, I MAKE MISTAKES."
  • 00:11:33.130 --> 00:11:36.220
  • - SO THE ORIGINAL, AND STILL ONE OF OUR HALLMARKS IS
  • 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:41.220
  • THE BIG BROTHER OR BIG SISTERS COMES AND PICKS UP THE CHILD,
  • 00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:44.260
  • AND DOES WHATEVER THEY WANNA DO, TYPICALLY ON A WEEKEND.
  • 00:11:44.280 --> 00:11:47.200
  • SO THEY CAN GO FISHING, BELIEVE IT OR NOT
  • 00:11:47.220 --> 00:11:50.030
  • KIDS STILL LOVE TO GO FISHING.
  • 00:11:50.050 --> 00:11:52.290
  • THEY MAY GO PLAY GOLF, THEY MAY GO WINDOW SHOPPING,
  • 00:11:53.010 --> 00:11:56.200
  • JUST THE BREADTH AND TYPES OF ACTIVITIES
  • 00:11:56.220 --> 00:11:59.200
  • IS ONLY LIMITED BY PEOPLE'S IMAGINATIONS.
  • 00:11:59.220 --> 00:12:02.240
  • - ALL OF OUR OUTINGS, ALL OF THEM HAVE BEEN REALLY GOOD.
  • 00:12:02.260 --> 00:12:08.290
  • EVEN IF I DIDN'T REALLY ENJOY THE OUTING, IT'S JUST HER
  • 00:12:09.010 --> 00:12:11.140
  • PRESENCE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER.
  • 00:12:11.160 --> 00:12:14.080
  • LIKE THERE HAVE BEEN SOME OUTINGS WHERE I'M LIKE,
  • 00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:15.170
  • "EH, I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE IT."
  • 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:17.110
  • BUT IT'S JUST THE FACT THAT SHE WAS THERE
  • 00:12:17.130 --> 00:12:18.270
  • MADE EVERYTHING BETTER.
  • 00:12:18.290 --> 00:12:20.080
  • SHE CONSTANTLY HAS ME LAUGHING.
  • 00:12:20.100 --> 00:12:22.240
  • SO THERE'S NEVER REALLY BEEN A LOW POINT
  • 00:12:22.260 --> 00:12:24.280
  • THAT I CAN THINK ABOUT.
  • 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:26.200
  • ALL OF THEM HAVE BEEN HIGH POINTS, TO ME.
  • 00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:28.270
  • - ADULTS GET A LOT OUT OF IT, TOO.
  • 00:12:28.290 --> 00:12:30.170
  • WE TALK SO OFTEN ABOUT WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS
  • 00:12:30.190 --> 00:12:33.000
  • FOR YOUNG PEOPLE, AT-RISK YOUTH WHO ARE Y'KNOW,
  • 00:12:33.020 --> 00:12:37.080
  • AT RISK OF POSSIBLY FALLING OFF TRACK AND DON'T REALLY
  • 00:12:37.100 --> 00:12:41.020
  • HAVE THE SAME GUARD RAILS ALONGSIDE THEM
  • 00:12:41.040 --> 00:12:43.210
  • AS YOUNG PEOPLE WITH MORE OPPORTUNITY.
  • 00:12:43.230 --> 00:12:46.050
  • WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM, AND THAT'S GREAT BUT,
  • 00:12:46.070 --> 00:12:50.030
  • I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE ALSO WANT TO FEEL LIKE
  • 00:12:50.050 --> 00:12:52.230
  • THEY'RE GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF THE DEAL TOO,
  • 00:12:52.250 --> 00:12:55.020
  • AND THAT'S SO TRUE OF MENTORING, THAT YOU'RE BASICALLY
  • 00:12:55.040 --> 00:12:59.170
  • Y'KNOW, BEING HUMAN ALONGSIDE SOMEONE ELSE
  • 00:12:59.190 --> 00:13:02.260
  • AND WITH THAT COMES ALL THE COMPLEXITIES AND COMPLICATIONS
  • 00:13:02.280 --> 00:13:07.060
  • OF RELATIONSHIP BUILDING, BUT IT'S SUCH A REWARDING THING.
  • 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:11.100
  • - ANOTHER SWEET SPOT FOR US, AND PEOPLE WOULDN'T NECESSARILY
  • 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:14.120
  • THINK THIS, BUT THESE MATCHES LAST FAR LONGER THAN
  • 00:13:14.140 --> 00:13:17.130
  • MATCHES OF YOUNGER VOLUNTEERS,
  • 00:13:17.150 --> 00:13:19.110
  • BUT OUR PEOPLE WHO ARE FIFTY AND OVER.
  • 00:13:19.130 --> 00:13:22.090
  • THAT THOSE FOLKS ARE NOT WHAT TYPICALLY THINK OF
  • 00:13:22.110 --> 00:13:25.200
  • WHEN THEY THINK OF A BIG BROTHER OR BIG SISTER
  • 00:13:25.220 --> 00:13:27.160
  • BUT THOSE FOLKS HAVE OFTEN RAISED THEIR OWN CHILDREN,
  • 00:13:27.180 --> 00:13:31.160
  • THEIR NEST MAY BE GETTING EMPTY, THEY MAYBE LONG
  • 00:13:31.180 --> 00:13:35.100
  • FOR THE CONNECTION WITH A YOUNG PERSON,
  • 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.280
  • AND FRANKLY THEIR CHILDREN HAVE TRAINED THEM,
  • 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.080
  • THERE'S NOT A LOT OUR LITTLE BROTHERS AND SISTERS
  • 00:13:40.100 --> 00:13:42.120
  • CAN THROW AT 'EM THAT THEY HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED
  • 00:13:42.140 --> 00:13:44.180
  • WITH THEIR OWN KIDS.
  • 00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:45.290
  • AND SO THOSE MATCHES ACTUALLY LAST THREE TIMES LONGER,
  • 00:13:46.010 --> 00:13:51.020
  • THAN MATCHES OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THEIR EARLY TWENTIES.
  • 00:13:51.040 --> 00:13:54.090
  • AND SO I THINK PART OF THAT IS BECAUSE THE VOLUNTEERS
  • 00:13:54.110 --> 00:13:59.260
  • ARE MORE POSITIONED IN THEIR LIFE, THEY'RE LESS LIKELY
  • 00:13:59.280 --> 00:14:02.140
  • TO CHANGE JOBS, THEY'RE LESS LIKELY TO HAVE CHILDREN,
  • 00:14:02.160 --> 00:14:05.010
  • HAVE MAJOR LIFE CHANGES THAT CAN BE THINGS
  • 00:14:05.030 --> 00:14:07.120
  • THAT CAN INTERRUPT A MATCH RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:14:07.140 --> 00:14:10.040
  • - HERE'S A QUESTION: WHY DO SOME MENTOR RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:14:10.060 --> 00:14:12.240
  • THRIVE, WHILE OTHERS FAIL?
  • 00:14:12.260 --> 00:14:15.120
  • THE KEY REASONS HAVE TO DO WITH THE EXPECTATIONS
  • 00:14:15.140 --> 00:14:18.040
  • AND APPROACH OF THE MENTOR.
  • 00:14:18.060 --> 00:14:20.100
  • MOST MENTORS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVE FAILED
  • 00:14:20.120 --> 00:14:23.030
  • BELIEVE THAT THEY SHOULD AND COULD REFORM THEIR PUPILS.
  • 00:14:23.050 --> 00:14:27.290
  • THESE MENTORS EVEN AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF THEIR MATCH,
  • 00:14:28.010 --> 00:14:30.220
  • SPENT AT LEAST SOME OF THEIR TIME
  • 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:33.000
  • PUSHING THE YOUNG PERSON TO CHANGE, NOW BY CONTRAST,
  • 00:14:33.020 --> 00:14:36.160
  • MOST ALL THE MENTORS IN SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:14:36.180 --> 00:14:39.090
  • BELIEVE THAT THEIR ROLE IS TO SUPPORT THE YOUTH,
  • 00:14:39.110 --> 00:14:42.090
  • TO HELP HIM OR HER GROW AND DEVELOP.
  • 00:14:42.110 --> 00:14:45.190
  • THEY SEE THEMSELVES PRIMARILY AS A FRIEND.
  • 00:14:45.210 --> 00:14:48.130
  • SUCCESSFUL MENTORS UNDERSTAND THAT POSITIVE CHANGES
  • 00:14:48.150 --> 00:14:52.020
  • IN THE LIVES OF YOUNG PEOPLE, DO NOT HAPPEN
  • 00:14:52.040 --> 00:14:54.160
  • QUICKLY OR AUTOMATICALLY, IF THEY ARE TO HAPPEN AT ALL.
  • 00:14:54.180 --> 00:14:58.160
  • THE MENTOR AND YOUTH MUST MEET LONG ENOUGH
  • 00:14:58.180 --> 00:15:02.080
  • AND OFTEN ENOUGH TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:05.160
  • THAT HELPS THE YOUTH FEEL SUPPORTED AND SAFE.
  • 00:15:05.180 --> 00:15:09.020
  • NOW THIS LEADS TO IMPROVED SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM.
  • 00:15:09.040 --> 00:15:13.030
  • AND IT OPENS THE DOOR FOR NEW POSSIBILITIES IN LIFE.
  • 00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:17.110
  • WHILE ESTABLISHING A FRIENDSHIP
  • 00:15:17.130 --> 00:15:18.180
  • MAY SOUND EASY, IT OFTEN IS NOT.
  • 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:22.090
  • ADULTS AND YOUTH ARE SEPARATED
  • 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:23.230
  • BY AGE AND IN MANY CASES, BY BACKGROUND AND CULTURE.
  • 00:15:23.250 --> 00:15:28.220
  • EVEN MENTORS WITH GOOD INSTINCTS CAN STUMBLE
  • 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:32.130
  • OR BE BLOCKED BY THESE DIFFERENCES.
  • 00:15:32.150 --> 00:15:34.190
  • IT TAKES TIME FOR A YOUNG PERSON
  • 00:15:34.210 --> 00:15:36.050
  • TO FEEL COMFORTABLE JUST TALKING TO THEIR MENTOR.
  • 00:15:36.070 --> 00:15:39.150
  • AND LONGER STILL BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY
  • 00:15:39.170 --> 00:15:41.130
  • FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO SHARE IN CONFIDENCE.
  • 00:15:41.150 --> 00:15:45.050
  • SO LEARNING TO TRUST, ESPECIALLY FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
  • 00:15:45.070 --> 00:15:47.130
  • WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN LET DOWN BY ADULTS
  • 00:15:47.150 --> 00:15:49.160
  • IN THEIR LIVES IS A GRADUAL PROCESS.
  • 00:15:49.180 --> 00:15:53.230
  • - WELL I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE OF A VOLUNTEER
  • 00:15:53.250 --> 00:15:56.160
  • WHO WAS MATCHED WITH A BOY
  • 00:15:56.180 --> 00:15:59.180
  • WHO WAS NINE YEARS OLD WHEN THEY WERE FIRST MATCHED.
  • 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:03.270
  • AND HE WAS THE ONLY BOY IN THE FAMILY OF SEVERAL KIDS,
  • 00:16:03.290 --> 00:16:08.080
  • THE FATHER WAS NOT IN THE HOME, AND SO
  • 00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:11.110
  • THE BIG BROTHER WAS COMING AND GETTING THIS BOY,
  • 00:16:11.130 --> 00:16:14.090
  • BRIGHT KID, BUT HE WOULDN'T TALK.
  • 00:16:14.110 --> 00:16:16.290
  • WE GOT THEM FREE TICKETS TO GO UP
  • 00:16:17.010 --> 00:16:18.160
  • TO THE INDY 500 AND THE BIG BROTHER SAID
  • 00:16:18.180 --> 00:16:21.060
  • "I GUARANTEE HE DIDN'T SAY TWO WORDS
  • 00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:23.030
  • "ALL THE WAY UP THERE AND ALL THE WAY BACK."
  • 00:16:23.050 --> 00:16:25.110
  • SO HE CALLS HIS MATCH SUPPORT SPECIALIST WHICH,
  • 00:16:25.130 --> 00:16:28.160
  • WHAT I CALL A FRIENDSHIP COACH ON OUR STAFF AND SAYS,
  • 00:16:28.180 --> 00:16:31.020
  • "I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GONNA WORK, I DON'T KNOW
  • 00:16:31.040 --> 00:16:32.230
  • "IF I'M MAKING ANY DIFFERENCE."
  • 00:16:32.250 --> 00:16:34.240
  • AND SHE SAID. "QUIT TRYING SO HARD.
  • 00:16:34.260 --> 00:16:37.130
  • "WHATEVER YOU'RE GONNA DO ON THE WEEKEND
  • 00:16:37.150 --> 00:16:39.120
  • "JUST GO GET HIM AND BRING HIM ALONG."
  • 00:16:39.140 --> 00:16:42.010
  • SO THE BIG BROTHER HE SAID, "OH, I'M SURE
  • 00:16:42.030 --> 00:16:43.090
  • "THIS IS GONNA BE BIG FUN, I'M RENOVATING
  • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:46.220
  • "MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE."
  • 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:48.160
  • AND OUR STAFF PERSON SAYS, "SOUNDS PERFECT TO ME."
  • 00:16:48.180 --> 00:16:51.240
  • SO HE WOULD GO GET HIS LITTLE BROTHER,
  • 00:16:51.260 --> 00:16:53.190
  • THEY WOULD GO TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE, HE'D HAVE HIM
  • 00:16:53.210 --> 00:16:55.130
  • HOLD THE TOOL BELT AND THEN EVENTUALLY
  • 00:16:55.150 --> 00:16:57.030
  • HE HAD HIM HAMMERING AND SO FORTH.
  • 00:16:57.050 --> 00:16:59.230
  • AND ONE DAY HE WENT TO GET HIS LITTLE BROTHER
  • 00:16:59.250 --> 00:17:01.200
  • AND HIS LITTLE BROTHER SAID,
  • 00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:03.280
  • LITTLE BROTHER WAS TEN YEARS OLD THEN, AND HE SAID,
  • 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:06.180
  • "I NEED FOR YOU TO COME IN THE HOUSE."
  • 00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:08.280
  • AND THEY WENT TO THE BATHROOM, THE LITTLE BROTHER
  • 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:11.160
  • HAD COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED AND REBUILT
  • 00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:14.120
  • THE FAMILY BATHROOM.
  • 00:17:14.140 --> 00:17:16.170
  • IT WAS NEW PLUMBING, NEW FIXTURES, WIRING,
  • 00:17:16.190 --> 00:17:21.240
  • AND HE SAID, "BEFORE I FINISH THE DRYWALL,
  • 00:17:21.260 --> 00:17:24.030
  • "I NEED TO HAVE YOU CHECK MY WIRING."
  • 00:17:24.050 --> 00:17:28.120
  • SO A FEW YEARS AGO I THOUGHT,
  • 00:17:28.140 --> 00:17:30.240
  • "I WONDER WHAT'S HAPPENED TO HIM."
  • 00:17:30.260 --> 00:17:33.260
  • LATEST IS THAT YOUNG MAN WENT TO UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE,
  • 00:17:33.280 --> 00:17:39.090
  • GOT HIS ACCOUNTING DEGREE, PAID FOR IT,
  • 00:17:39.110 --> 00:17:41.110
  • NO SCHOLARSHIPS, PAID FOR IT ALL HIMSELF.
  • 00:17:41.130 --> 00:17:44.030
  • WENT TO BELLARMINE AND GOT AN MBA,
  • 00:17:44.050 --> 00:17:46.180
  • AGAIN PAID FOR IT ALL HIMSELF,
  • 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:48.240
  • AND HAS NOW REBUILT HIS FIFTH HOME.
  • 00:17:48.260 --> 00:17:51.160
  • - ONE OF THE OUTINGS THAT TIA AND I HAD,
  • 00:17:51.180 --> 00:17:54.190
  • EARLIER THIS YEAR I BELIEVE IT WAS,
  • 00:17:54.210 --> 00:17:57.180
  • WE WERE WALKING, THERE'S A PARK THAT'S NEAR
  • 00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:00.220
  • WHERE TIA LIVES, AND WE WERE OUT WALKING ONE NIGHT THERE
  • 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:03.040
  • AND HAD A LITTLE PICNIC AND SHE WAS TELLING ME
  • 00:18:03.060 --> 00:18:05.230
  • THAT SHE WAS HAVING A CONFLICT WITH
  • 00:18:05.250 --> 00:18:07.220
  • ONE OF HER FRIENDS AT SCHOOL.
  • 00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:09.110
  • - SO SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND A FRIEND,
  • 00:18:09.130 --> 00:18:12.030
  • I FOUND OUT, I DON'T KNOW, SHE WAS TALKING REALLY BAD
  • 00:18:12.050 --> 00:18:16.060
  • ABOUT ME, AND IT HURT ME A LOT.
  • 00:18:16.080 --> 00:18:19.030
  • I WAS LIKE, "AW MAN."
  • 00:18:19.050 --> 00:18:20.130
  • I WAS LIKE, I WOULD THINK, I'M A VERY OPEN PERSON
  • 00:18:20.150 --> 00:18:22.280
  • AND YOU CAN COME AND TALK TO MY ABOUT ANYTHING,
  • 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:25.040
  • I'M VERY UNDERSTANDING.
  • 00:18:25.060 --> 00:18:27.050
  • - AND THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES WHERE TIA I FELT,
  • 00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:30.070
  • REALLY NEEDED DIRECTION, SHE SEEMED LIKE SHE WASN'T
  • 00:18:30.090 --> 00:18:33.270
  • REAL SURE HOW TO HANDLE THE SITUATION.
  • 00:18:33.290 --> 00:18:36.000
  • AND SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY UPSET THAT THIS FRIEND
  • 00:18:36.020 --> 00:18:39.270
  • WAS NOT RESPONDING TO HER IN THE WAY THAT
  • 00:18:39.290 --> 00:18:42.030
  • SHE HAD WANTED TO AND THE CONFLICT WASN'T REALLY
  • 00:18:42.050 --> 00:18:44.120
  • RESOLVING, AND I MADE THE SUGGESTION OF WELL,
  • 00:18:44.140 --> 00:18:48.120
  • WHAT IF YOU WERE THE FIRST TO APOLOGIZE?
  • 00:18:48.140 --> 00:18:51.040
  • WHAT IF YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SORT OF,
  • 00:18:51.060 --> 00:18:52.230
  • BROKE THAT BARRIER, AND ENDED THE STALEMATE?
  • 00:18:52.250 --> 00:18:56.020
  • AND SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND SHE WAS LIKE,
  • 00:18:56.040 --> 00:18:57.250
  • "AH MAYBE, MAYBE."
  • 00:18:57.270 --> 00:18:59.100
  • AND THEN LATER THAT WEEK, TEXTED ME AND SAID
  • 00:18:59.120 --> 00:19:01.160
  • SHE HAD TAKEN MY ADVICE AND THAT THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER,
  • 00:19:01.180 --> 00:19:03.290
  • AND THAT THINGS WERE RESOLVING.
  • 00:19:04.010 --> 00:19:05.210
  • - BUT HER AND I, LIKE WE'RE ON GOOD TERMS.
  • 00:19:05.230 --> 00:19:08.250
  • I DON'T HAVE ANY ANIMOSITY AGAINST HER,
  • 00:19:08.270 --> 00:19:11.100
  • I WISH THE BEST FOR HER, AND I TALK TO HER.
  • 00:19:11.120 --> 00:19:13.280
  • LIKE WE'RE OKAY ACQUAINTANCES WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER.
  • 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:16.120
  • IT'S NOT AWKWARD OR ANYTHING.
  • 00:19:16.140 --> 00:19:17.280
  • - THAT WAS VERY REWARDING AND MORE SELF-ASSURING
  • 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:24.020
  • THAT I HADN'T LED HER ASTRAY, AND THAT IT WAS
  • 00:19:24.040 --> 00:19:26.170
  • ACTUALLY NOT HORRIBLE ADVICE.
  • 00:19:26.190 --> 00:19:28.100
  • AND IT WAS NICE THAT SHE TOOK IT AND THAT
  • 00:19:28.120 --> 00:19:29.220
  • IT WORKED OUT WELL FOR HER.
  • 00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:32.010
  • OKAY, YOU WANNA CRACK ME SOME EGGS IN HERE?
  • 00:19:32.030 --> 00:19:33.270
  • - SURE, HOW MANY?
  • 00:19:33.290 --> 00:19:34.280
  • - TWO, JUST TWO.
  • 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.140
  • - GO.
  • 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:40.070
  • - WE PRETTY MUCH DO EVERYTHING, HARD COUNTRYING,
  • 00:19:40.090 --> 00:19:44.260
  • LASER TAGGING, BOWLING, MOVIES, ALL THAT GOOD STUFF.
  • 00:19:44.280 --> 00:19:48.050
  • - MY FIRST THING WITH HIM WAS TO KEEP HIM SMILING,
  • 00:19:48.070 --> 00:19:51.090
  • KEEP HIM HAPPY, HE'S NOT GONNA THINK OF A RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:19:51.110 --> 00:19:54.060
  • ALL HE SEE IS, THIS MAN IS TAKING ME PLACES
  • 00:19:54.080 --> 00:19:58.030
  • AND HAVING FUN WITH ME AND I ENJOY BEING WITH HIM.
  • 00:19:58.050 --> 00:20:00.270
  • 'COS THAT WAS MY STRATEGY,
  • 00:20:00.290 --> 00:20:02.210
  • IS AT SOME POINT HE'S GONNA OPEN UP.
  • 00:20:02.230 --> 00:20:04.210
  • THE FIRST MOMENTS, YEAH WERE AWKWARD,
  • 00:20:04.230 --> 00:20:06.060
  • WOULDN'T TALK, YES, NO.
  • 00:20:06.080 --> 00:20:08.240
  • THEN PROBABLY BY ABOUT THE FIFTH TRIP,
  • 00:20:08.260 --> 00:20:12.020
  • COULDN'T SHUT HIM UP (LAUGHS).
  • 00:20:12.040 --> 00:20:13.130
  • I MEAN, HE WAS TALKING, HE WAS SHARING EVERYTHING,
  • 00:20:13.150 --> 00:20:16.190
  • THAT'S WHAT I WANTED, WAS TO BE ABLE TO
  • 00:20:16.210 --> 00:20:18.060
  • HAVE HIM BE ABLE TO OPEN UP TO ME, AND BE ABLE
  • 00:20:18.080 --> 00:20:20.240
  • TO TELL ME ABOUT WHAT HE WAS THINKING, BECAUSE
  • 00:20:20.260 --> 00:20:22.200
  • GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT STAGES OF LIFE
  • 00:20:22.220 --> 00:20:24.220
  • THAT HE HAD BEEN GOING THROUGH,
  • 00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:26.150
  • I KNOW HE NEEDED AN OUTLET
  • 00:20:26.170 --> 00:20:28.060
  • AND SOMEONE HE COULD BOUNCE THINGS OFF OF
  • 00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:30.070
  • AND REALLY OPEN UP HIS FEELINGS.
  • 00:20:30.100 --> 00:20:32.240
  • BUT THERE'S FORTY SEVEN YEARS DIFFERENCE IN OUR AGE.
  • 00:20:32.260 --> 00:20:35.100
  • YOU THINK, HOW DO TWO PEOPLE CONNECT WITH
  • 00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:37.150
  • THAT MUCH SPACE BETWEEN THEM IN TERMS OF LIFE?
  • 00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:40.040
  • BUT WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON
  • 00:20:40.060 --> 00:20:41.200
  • AND I AM SO COMMITTED TO SEE THIS KID SUCCEED,
  • 00:20:41.220 --> 00:20:45.000
  • THAT I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE UNDERESTIMATED PART IS,
  • 00:20:45.020 --> 00:20:47.160
  • WHAT THE LITTLE RELATIONSHIP DOES FOR ME,
  • 00:20:47.180 --> 00:20:50.080
  • I THINK THAT'S THE PART THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE LOSE
  • 00:20:50.100 --> 00:20:52.240
  • IN THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BIGS AND LITTLES.
  • 00:20:52.260 --> 00:20:55.050
  • - LATER OFF IN LIFE HE WANTS ME TO GET A BIG BROTHER
  • 00:20:55.070 --> 00:20:57.110
  • UH, LITTLE BROTHER OF MY OWN.
  • 00:20:57.130 --> 00:20:59.240
  • LIKE SO, LIKE PRETTY MUCH LIKE, CARRY ON
  • 00:20:59.260 --> 00:21:02.280
  • WHAT HE'S DONE FOR ME TO ANOTHER CHILD.
  • 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.120
  • I DO WANNA DO THAT TOO, JUST HELP ANOTHER KID OUT.
  • 00:21:05.140 --> 00:21:09.250
  • - I THINK THAT YOU KNOW, JUST LOOKING AT FIVE YEARS,
  • 00:21:09.270 --> 00:21:14.030
  • HE AND I BOTH CAUGHT IT, "MAN HAS IT BEEN FIVE YEARS?"
  • 00:21:14.050 --> 00:21:16.120
  • IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT.
  • 00:21:16.140 --> 00:21:17.200
  • AND I SHOW HIM PICTURES WHERE HE'S SO SMALL.
  • 00:21:17.220 --> 00:21:20.030
  • - YEAH LIKE, STU HE'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A STABILITY
  • 00:21:20.050 --> 00:21:22.210
  • LIKE, I ALWAYS KNOW HE'S GONNA BE THERE FOR ME
  • 00:21:22.230 --> 00:21:25.220
  • NO MATTER WHAT LIKE, YEAH EVERY HOUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH,
  • 00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:29.120
  • HE'S BEEN THERE WITH ME, IT JUST, IT'S NICE HAVING HIM.
  • 00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:33.200
  • - KEEP GOIN', KEEP, OH!
  • 00:21:33.220 --> 00:21:35.190
  • KEEP GOIN'.
  • 00:21:35.210 --> 00:21:36.130
  • (LAUGHS)
  • 00:21:36.150 --> 00:21:37.240
  • - THE REWARDS OF MENTORING FOR YOUTH ARE BOUNTIFUL
  • 00:21:37.260 --> 00:21:40.110
  • AND MOST MENTORS WILL TELL YOU THAT
  • 00:21:40.130 --> 00:21:42.060
  • THEY FEEL THE BLESSINGS AS WELL.
  • 00:21:42.080 --> 00:21:44.150
  • THEIR EXPERIENCES OFTEN PROVIDE THEM WITH LESSONS
  • 00:21:44.170 --> 00:21:47.080
  • THAT HELP THEM TO MAKES SENSE OF THEIR OWN
  • 00:21:47.100 --> 00:21:49.180
  • PAST EXPERIENCES AND EVEN THEIR CURRENT CHALLENGES.
  • 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:53.080
  • MENTORS THEMSELVES OFTEN GROW IN THEIR OWN CONFIDENCE,
  • 00:21:53.100 --> 00:21:56.210
  • THEY LEARN ABOUT PATIENCE, AND THEY RECEIVE
  • 00:21:56.230 --> 00:21:59.000
  • THE SATISFACTION IN KNOWING THAT
  • 00:21:59.020 --> 00:22:01.110
  • THEY ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
  • 00:22:01.130 --> 00:22:03.250
  • MENTORING IS POSITIVE AND INFECTIOUS
  • 00:22:03.270 --> 00:22:06.090
  • AND THE SENSE OF GRATITUDE FELT BY THE YOUNG PEOPLE
  • 00:22:06.110 --> 00:22:08.290
  • BEING MENTORED, WILL OFTEN LEAD THEM
  • 00:22:09.010 --> 00:22:11.130
  • TO BE A MENTOR THEMSELVES ONE DAY AS THEY GROW OLDER.
  • 00:22:11.150 --> 00:22:15.130
  • IT APPEARS THAT THE ACT OF INTENTIONALLY
  • 00:22:15.150 --> 00:22:17.270
  • AND REGULARLY INVESTING IN THE LIFE OF A YOUNG PERSON
  • 00:22:17.290 --> 00:22:21.020
  • IS A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING.
  • 00:22:21.040 --> 00:22:23.010
  • - PEOPLE ARE PLACING VALUE ON RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:22:23.030 --> 00:22:25.200
  • IN A WAY THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:22:25.220 --> 00:22:28.050
  • SO I DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE SEEING THE GAP,
  • 00:22:28.070 --> 00:22:31.200
  • THE MENTORING GAP WIDEN VERSES PAST YEARS
  • 00:22:31.220 --> 00:22:34.170
  • BUT WE'RE SEEING MORE PEOPLE BE WILLING
  • 00:22:34.190 --> 00:22:38.100
  • TO STEP UP AND STEP IN TO CLOSE THE GAP, RIGHT?
  • 00:22:38.120 --> 00:22:42.190
  • - I MAINTAIN IN THIS TIME OF STRIDENT POLITICS
  • 00:22:42.210 --> 00:22:48.230
  • THAT BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS
  • 00:22:48.250 --> 00:22:50.120
  • IS THE BIGGEST BRIDGE BUILDER
  • 00:22:50.140 --> 00:22:52.160
  • IN THIS COMMUNITY, AND IN ANY COMMUNITY.
  • 00:22:52.180 --> 00:22:55.150
  • THAT WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR POLITICAL AFFILIATION IS,
  • 00:22:55.170 --> 00:22:58.160
  • WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR RELIGIOUS PREFERENCES ARE,
  • 00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:02.120
  • ALL WE CARE ABOUT THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE
  • 00:23:02.140 --> 00:23:04.210
  • A SAFE PERSON IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD
  • 00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:06.170
  • AND WE CAN CARRY IT FROM THERE.
  • 00:23:06.190 --> 00:23:08.130
  • - WE JUST NEED TO BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.
  • 00:23:08.150 --> 00:23:11.030
  • IF EVERYONE WAS MORE HONEST ABOUT THE WAY
  • 00:23:11.050 --> 00:23:13.050
  • THAT THEY FELT, THERE WOULDN'T
  • 00:23:13.070 --> 00:23:15.140
  • BE SUCH A DIVIDE BETWEEN PEOPLE.
  • 00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:18.280
  • WE NEED TO TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE
  • 00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:23.210
  • BEFORE WE JUST START LABELING THEM AND JUDGING THEM.
  • 00:23:23.230 --> 00:23:28.130
  • PEOPLE ARE LABELED AND JUDGED ALL THE TIME.
  • 00:23:28.150 --> 00:23:32.270
  • LIKE RACISM, THAT RUNS DEEP.
  • 00:23:32.290 --> 00:23:36.100
  • WE'RE STILL STRUGGLING WITH THAT.
  • 00:23:36.120 --> 00:23:38.230
  • - TIA HAS AN AMAZING INSIGHT INTO HERSELF
  • 00:23:38.250 --> 00:23:42.010
  • AND THE WORLD AROUND HER EVEN FOR SOMEONE
  • 00:23:42.030 --> 00:23:43.290
  • AS YOUNG AS SHE IS.
  • 00:23:44.010 --> 00:23:45.110
  • - PEOPLE ARE CROSSING BRIDGES TO MENTOR YOUNG PEOPLE
  • 00:23:45.130 --> 00:23:48.210
  • AND MENTORING IS SOMETHING THAT BRINGS US TOGETHER.
  • 00:23:48.230 --> 00:23:51.180
  • - MENTORING IS ONE OF THE MOST SATISFYING THINGS
  • 00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:54.140
  • YOU CAN DO, NOT JUST FOR SOMEONE ELSE BUT FOR YOURSELF.
  • 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:58.150
  • AND IT IS I THINK, ONE OF THE MORE IMPACTFUL WAYS
  • 00:23:58.170 --> 00:24:03.030
  • THAT YOU CAN IMPACT THE WORLD AROUND YOU.
  • 00:24:03.050 --> 00:24:05.020
  • - WHAT I'VE GOT IS EXPERIENCE, I'VE GOT RESOURCES,
  • 00:24:05.040 --> 00:24:08.130
  • I'VE GOT KNOWLEDGE, WHICH MOST OTHER PEOPLE
  • 00:24:08.150 --> 00:24:10.190
  • AND MUCH OTHER ADULTS HAVE.
  • 00:24:10.210 --> 00:24:13.110
  • I WOULD CHALLENGE THEM; WHAT'S IT LIKE FOR YOU TO TAKE
  • 00:24:13.130 --> 00:24:16.260
  • THAT EXPERIENCE AND HELP SOME KID THAT LOST HIS WAY,
  • 00:24:16.280 --> 00:24:19.210
  • OR DOESN'T HAVE A WAY, THAT YOU CAN HELP GUIDE?
  • 00:24:19.230 --> 00:24:22.120
  • THAT YOU CAN HELP MENTOR, TO HELP STEER?
  • 00:24:22.140 --> 00:24:24.090
  • - NOT ALL OF THE PROGRAMS ARE THIS ONE-TO-ONE MODEL,
  • 00:24:24.110 --> 00:24:29.090
  • SOME OF THEM ARE GROUP SETTINGS, SOME OF THEM ARE
  • 00:24:29.110 --> 00:24:32.200
  • NATURE BASED, SOME OF THEM ARE TUTORING, RIGHT?
  • 00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:36.130
  • SO THERE ARE OPPORTUNITIES TO FIND WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU
  • 00:24:36.150 --> 00:24:39.170
  • AND THE COMMITMENT THAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU.
  • 00:24:39.190 --> 00:24:41.210
  • - I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE
  • 00:24:41.230 --> 00:24:42.260
  • TO UNDERSTAND TWO THINGS:
  • 00:24:42.280 --> 00:24:45.210
  • ONE IS THAT THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE
  • 00:24:45.230 --> 00:24:50.130
  • OF A CHILD, AND BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OFFERS
  • 00:24:50.150 --> 00:24:55.090
  • AN OPPORTUNITY WHERE THEY ARE SUPPORTED AND THEY
  • 00:24:55.110 --> 00:24:59.230
  • OFTEN WILL GET AS MUCH OR MORE OUT OF IT THAN THEY GIVE.
  • 00:24:59.250 --> 00:25:03.280
  • - I WOULD CHALLENGE ANYONE YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE
  • 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.090
  • AN HOUR OR TWO TO MAKE AN ETERNAL DIFFERENCE
  • 00:25:07.110 --> 00:25:10.040
  • IN A CHILD'S LIFE?
  • 00:25:10.060 --> 00:25:12.070
  • AND I SAY YOU DO AND IT MAY MEAN YOU
  • 00:25:12.090 --> 00:25:14.270
  • PUTTING THE FISHING POLE UP, OR THE GOLF CLUBS UP
  • 00:25:14.290 --> 00:25:18.130
  • FOR MAYBE ONE WEEK BUT I'M TELLING YOU,
  • 00:25:18.150 --> 00:25:21.100
  • WHAT YOU WILL SOW INTO A CHILD'S LIFE THAT ONE WEEK
  • 00:25:21.120 --> 00:25:24.030
  • IS GONNA BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY FISH YOU CATCH,
  • 00:25:24.050 --> 00:25:28.200
  • ANY LOW SCORE YOU EVER SHOOT IN GOLF,
  • 00:25:28.220 --> 00:25:31.060
  • AND I WOULD CHALLENGE ANYONE TO JUST ONE.
  • 00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:33.270
  • ONE ADULT REACH ONE CHILD, IT'LL MAKE A WHOLE DIFFERENCE
  • 00:25:33.290 --> 00:25:37.180
  • IN THIS COUNTRY AND IN THIS WORLD, I BELIEVE THAT.
  • 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.260
  • - IT'S AWESOME LIKE, JUST GETTING TO KNOW
  • 00:25:40.280 --> 00:25:44.110
  • SOMEBODY LIKE THAT, HAVING LIKE, THE SUPPORT SYSTEM.
  • 00:25:44.130 --> 00:25:48.090
  • - THE SKY'S THE LIMIT, THAT'S HOW SHE'S INFLUENCED ME.
  • 00:25:48.110 --> 00:25:50.210
  • THE SKY'S THE LIMIT.
  • 00:25:50.230 --> 00:25:53.260
  • - [NARRATOR] AT IT'S CORE, MENTORING ENSURES
  • 00:25:53.280 --> 00:25:55.280
  • THAT CHILDREN AND TEENS HAVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT THEM,
  • 00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.040
  • REASSURES THEM THAT THEY AREN'T ALONE
  • 00:25:59.060 --> 00:26:00.280
  • IN DEALING WITH LIFE'S HURDLES.
  • 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:02.260
  • AND HELPS THEM FEEL LIKE THEY ARE IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE.
  • 00:26:02.280 --> 00:26:06.020
  • TODAY'S YOUTH FACE A RANGE OF CHALLENGES.
  • 00:26:06.040 --> 00:26:08.150
  • RESEARCH CONFIRMS THAT QUALITY MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS
  • 00:26:08.170 --> 00:26:11.180
  • HAVE STRONG POSITIVE EFFECTS ON THE PERSONAL GROWTH
  • 00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:14.120
  • AND DEVELOPMENT OF A YOUNG PERSON.
  • 00:26:14.140 --> 00:26:16.020
  • IN A VARIETY OF PERSONAL, EDUCATIONAL
  • 00:26:16.040 --> 00:26:18.160
  • AND PROFESSIONAL SITUATIONS.
  • 00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:20.180
  • HOWEVER, ONE OF EVERY THREE YOUNG PEOPLE WILL GROW UP
  • 00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:23.170
  • WITHOUT THIS CRITICAL RESOURCE.
  • 00:26:23.190 --> 00:26:26.270
  • BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF AMERICA
  • 00:26:26.290 --> 00:26:28.260
  • PROVIDES CHILDREN FACING ADVERSITY WITH STRONG
  • 00:26:28.280 --> 00:26:31.210
  • AND ENDURING, PROFESSIONALLY SUPPORTED ONE-TO-ONE
  • 00:26:31.230 --> 00:26:34.200
  • RELATIONSHIPS THAT CHANGE THEIR LIVES
  • 00:26:34.220 --> 00:26:36.290
  • FOR THE BETTER, FOREVER.
  • 00:26:37.010 --> 00:26:39.030
  • YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE A CHILD'S FURURE.
  • 00:26:39.050 --> 00:26:42.040
  • TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ENROLLING A CHILD,
  • 00:26:42.060 --> 00:26:44.030
  • OR BECOMING A BIG BROTHER OR BIG SISTER,
  • 00:26:44.050 --> 00:26:46.120
  • VISIT ONLINE, AT BBBS.ORG.
  • 00:26:46.140 --> 00:26:53.000
  • - I'M KELLY WRIGHT, THANKS FOR WATCHING US.
  • 00:26:53.020 --> 00:26:55.230
  • TOGETHER, WE'RE TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.
  • 00:26:55.250 --> 00:26:59.040
  • (MUSIC)
  • 00:26:59.060 --> 00:27:10.040
  • (MUSIC)
  • 00:27:10.040 --> 00:27:17.210

Video Keywords